A door of utterance

For our family, home-schooling is a conviction.  It is something that we feel is right to do for our family, based on what we read in scripture.

We don't tell everyone else they are wrong if they don't agree with us.

But, it galls me slightly greatly when people tell us we are not doing the right thing.  They use multiple reasons, which those who home-school themselves are all too aware of.  I am not going to get into all of them just now.  I don't have the abundance of time that it would take.  Instead I am just going to focus on one, because during my devotions this morning I came across a verse that made me think of it.

What is that reason?

"You'll miss out on the opportunity to witness to the parents at the school gate."

Yes, you're right, I will.

We can be led to feel that there should be a level of guilt felt because we are missing out on an opportunity that MUST be ours. That we are somehow negligent if we don't have that particular opportunity.  That what we are doing is somehow lesser to this evangelistic opportunity.

I disagree.

We have been incredibly blessed with 7 children, thus far.  They are a truly precious heritage from the Lord.  By God's leading, we have them at home with us.  All. Day.  And, there you have it.  This is my most amazing evangelistic opportunity.  My own children.  I have the opportunity, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, to seek out opportunities to show them God's plan of salvation.   To let them see God at work in our hearts and lives EVERY day.  Countless, precious opportunities to show them truths lived out right here.  Right now.

"Withal praying also for us, that God would open unto us a door of utterance"

Colossians 4:3

Like Paul, we must plead with the Lord that He would open that "door of utterance".  That our lips would be opened to speak of God's truths to our children.  These tender hearts, that need to hear the gospel.  We have the chance to use our words and ways to utter God's truths to them.

It would be so easy to waste that opportunity.   To neglect the responsibility we have.  To forget the words of Deuteronomy 6 verses 5-7.

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, 

and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, 

and when thou walkest by the way, 

and when thou liest down, 

and when thou risest up."

Morning, night, right through the day.  Teaching them to love the Lord with every part of their being.  To learn that we love Him, because He first loved us.  What that love looks like lived out in our lives. And, more than anything else, that they should accept God's ultimate love, in salvation - because we are undeserving sinners who can only saved through Christ's atoning death, through love, on Calvary. 

As the hymn-writer put it 

"My every sacred moment spend,

In publishing the sinner's friend".

(from "Give me the faith which can remove", by Charles Wesley)

What a tremendous opportunity we have!  Let's not waste it, but seek the Lord to open that "door of utterance", so that we share the gospel with our children.

Not wanting to neglect a single reader - this should be the desire of every single one of us!  This should be the prayer of us ALL.  That we should speak the gospel with those that we come into contact with every day.  When you read on, you see that Paul was "in bonds" - he was a prisoner, and yet he still sought to share the gospel with whoever he could.  

"Redeeming the time".  

Making the best of the time and opportunities we have.  

Yours may be at the school gate.  

But, mine is right here, in my home - and, oh what a precious opportunity it is. 

Don't beat yourself up

I have had a LOT of people, through my time as a mother, thinking I a some sort of superwoman.

I *HATE* it.  I really do hate it when people say such things.

Why?  Because, I know my own heart.  I know my own failures and weaknesses.  And, what they world sees is not always the reality.  I have struggles as a parent, just like anyone else, and just because the children may behave well when we are out, doesn't mean life is a bed of roses.

I'm going to share with you about one of my biggest struggles, because I am pret-ty sure that I am not alone in this one.

Self criticism.

"Beating myself up" when I don't get things right.

Blaming myself for things that I perceive to be "not going right".

I had Robert's family over for dinner last week.  In my opinion, the dinner was not that great.  The vegetables were not hot by the time we ate everything, and I was so annoyed with myself.  I should have managed to serve a dinner that was better than that.

I was SO annoyed with myself, and felt I had given them all something that was not enjoyable.

That whole toilet training thing that I told you about 2 weeks ago?

EPIC FAIL. *sad face*

Virtually no progress, and back in nappies today.  It is pointless carrying on, as he has NO idea what he is doing.

All my other children were toilet trained far quicker, and other people's children do much better.

Another biggie?  Susie started schooling 6 months ago, and her reading is still slow.  I look around at my amazing nieces and nephews and wonder why I am not doing such a good job.

I find it incredibly hard not to compare - not to compare myself as the teacher, and not to compare Susie to her younger, more capable cousins.  I had someone else compare their abilities recently, and I found it very hard not to crumple into a crying heap.


And then, I need to remember something.  I need to remember what I would tell ANYONE else, if they came to me expressing the same disappointments.


DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF

Comparison is a killer.  If you forever look at what other people do - what other people achieve - how other people raise and train and educate their children - you will forever be crippled in the comparison trap. Well, maybe not forever...but, you get the idea.  It will PULL YOU DOWN.

Your circumstances and situation are the ones that God has placed you in.

Your children are the ones that God gave you - unique and individual, and just perfect for  your own family unit.  They don't need to do X, Y and Z at the same time as anyone else.

How you run your home has to be what is right for YOU.  Looking at what other people are doing in such a way that will make you feel negatively about what YOU do is not right.  Yes, be inspired!  DON'T be discouraged!!!  You don't know what circumstances, conditions and influences are at work in the homes of other people.  Look at what God has given you, speak to your husband, and work out what is right for YOU!


DON'T EXPECT PERFECTION

Whatever you do in life, you will rarely get it all right all the time.  We are HU-MAN.  Humanity = frailty, imperfection and mistakes.  Things aren't always perfect!!.  Get over it!

ESPECIALLY don't expect perfection from children!! They are all different, and have their own strengths and weaknesses.  Some things you can try, try and try to do, and it just won't work the way you expected it to, because it's not the way your child works.  It's nothing to do with wilful disobedience, it's just they plain don't get or can't do it. THAT IS OK!


DO YOUR BEST

Did you do your best, in whatever you attempted?  Did you prayerfully lay out the options and circumstances, and attempt something to the best of your abilities that you believed to be the right thing?  If so, and it doesn't work out, then at  least you know you tried.  I tell my children all the time "I want you to at least try", when they claim not to be able to do something!  Same applies to us adults.  At least TRY something, before you give up on it!


DON'T BE PROUD

Pride is another killer.  Sometimes it's hard to admit defeat.  We take it as a personal insult that we haven't achieved what we set out to do.  We expect criticism and scorn, because we haven't managed to do what we hoped to, or it hasn't gone the way we planned.   And, so, we don't admit that things haven't gone well.  We try and cover it up, or make excuses - when, in reality, neither is necessary!


BE PATIENT!

Some things don't happen straight away.  Just because it's taking Susie longer than other children to read, doesn't mean she won't get there.  And, it doesn't mean she won't end up having the same abilities eventually!   If it's something you know you need to keep on with, but it's just taking you longer than you hoped/planned/expected, don't give up!  Keep on, and you will get there.



ACCEPT THAT IT'S OK TO GIVE UP

Sometimes we try something, thinking it was the best plan, and we soon realise that it wasn't.  It's OK to stop!   Whether it's a chore system, a family routine, curriculum choices, toilet training (*whistles*), or whatever - you CAN stop.  If it's not a command laid out in scripture, then you have a choice whether you do it or not!! Not everything in life is laid down in stone, and must be followed to a "t".   Be gracious enough to yourself to realise that we can't always finish what we started, and it's acceptable to quit. ESPECIALLY if it is going to harm how you manage to operate as a family unit.  If I carried on toilet training Elijah now, it would start to drive me demented.  I will get impatient, and struggle to hold the fort with everything else in the home. That will help NO-ONE!   So, it's ok to stop and try again another time.  He's not going to be wearing nappies when he finishes school, that's for sure!!! *laughs*

REMEMBER THAT GOD SUPPLIES ALL YOUR NEEDS

Are you struggling with patience?  Is it hard to feel humble instead of humiliated?  Is it a trial to do what you need to do?  Are you feeling tired, worn out or struggling in what you need to do?

God WILL supply all your needs.  he has promised it in His Word, and so HE WILL.


TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY

Yes, it's true!  You can wipe the slate clean, start again and it very possibly will NOt be as bad as today!  You'll have one more day's experience, for a start - ready to be able to deal with the same issues again with more wisdom and knowledge.  You'll have had a night's sleep, and everything is better after sleep.  Even if you HAVEN'T had a night's sleep, it's still a new day, with a new start!


Ok, so I have just read that all back.

I consider myself rebuked!  If I would tell everyone else those things, then I need to tell them to myself!  In fact, my lovely sister-in-law Anna asked me just the other day "what would you tell someone else in this situation?"!!!  I need to take my own advice.

Above all else, whatever I do must be Christ-honouring.  Doing all to His glory.  Making sure that I can continue to be the example I should be to my children in thought, word and deed.  If anything I do stops that from happening, then I need to stop it anyway!

So, there we have it.

A rebuke/pep-talk to myself, which I hope will help someone else, too!

Happy Monday!

PS - further lesson learnt?  Listen to your husband.  He didn't think Elijah was ready to start toilet training, but I thought he was, and went on ahead anyway.  Humble pie eaten (minus any cream, as I am on a diet....)

Sharing on a Saturday

I am a Scot.  In case you didn't know.

Scots like to be frugal, and so when we find something that is FREE, it's a golden moment.

I am also a Christian.  In case you didn't know.

Christians share.

So, I am sharing.

Here are a few freebie resources, particularly for homeschoolers, but would be great for any involved parent.

This first one is  freebies from Heart of Wisdom.  They have many different ones, ranging from a free digital scrap-booking resource, to check-lists,  to printable games.  Have a look, and I am sure something will catch your eye.  I am particularly thrilled with the "ABC Bible Verse" handwriting practice sheets.  They are in my preferred Bible version, which is the KJV.  Remember to click through on each "freebie", as there are sometimes multiple things under each heading, which you can utilise. This week, I used the information from an excerpt from their Internet-linked Ebook on Egypt, which covers the 10 plagues and their significance in regard to Egyptian religion.

Would you like a little look at the cake I made for our home-school group, as we were studying Egypt on Thursday?

It was a bit of a rush job, as I only decorated whilst the children ate their tea on Wednesday.  You can get the general gist of what it is, though?! :-)

This next website is one I found just today, via Writeshop's Facebook page. The page is called "E is for Explore".     It's an absolute wealth of fantastic ideas for homeschooling, or for a parent who wants to create fun learning opportunities in the home, outside of school.   If you look at the column on the right, there are tags for the different topics, and you just click and look to see what they have.  There are SO many fun ideas, and I am thrilled because I found a brilliant activity for our next homeschool family get together.  Woohoo!

The last one is an epic find.  I am thrilled to bits.  We use the Oxford Reading Tree books for our early readers.  They enjoy the stories about Biff, Chip and Kipper. (I have always thought their names to be a bit weird, but there is more than likely some educational benefit in them....moving on...) There is a website where you can go and pick a book, and them you have interactive pages where they can be read aloud to your children, or your children can read them for themselves.  Also, there are activity pages to go with the stories, and you can print things as well.  SO, go on over to Oxford Owl and see if you can find something your child would like to read! They are categorised by age, book type, or the series the book is from (eg Oxford Reading Tree, Songbirds phonics).  I am not entirely sure, but am FAIRLY sure that it is accessible to those outside of the UK, as I can't imagine why it WOULDN'T be! If it is, Americans can merrily enjoy the sound of a British voice whenever they like! *chuckles*

So, there we have it - some freebies to cheer your day.  Here they are again.

Heart of Wisdom

E is for Explore

Oxford Owl

Enjoy!

The most important thing

What do YOU think the most important thing is?

We ask our children, on  a very regular basis, this question...

"What's the most important thing?"

From a very young age, we teach them the answer.

From the time they begin to talk, they know the answer.

We try and instil it in them - every day of their life.

We remind.

We demonstrate.

We perform it.

We try and live it.

What IS the most important thing?

That is the most important thing.

Says who?

Says God.

"And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

I Corinthians 13:13

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 

This is the first and great commandment. 

  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

Matthew 22:37-39

 "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 

  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. "

John 13:34-35

"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Romans 12:10

Just this morning I was reading in Colossians, and it struck me again.

"And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness."

Colossians 3:14

We have to teach, and remind our children to love.  To demonstate it and mean it above everything else.  In the spirit of keeping things real, let me just say it does not happen naturally or all the time.  It's why we have to TRAIN up our children in the way they should go.

But I was struck by these words of Paul, to the Church in Colosse. 

PUT ON charity.  It's a verb.  A word of action.  It's not something which always comes naturally, and sometimes it's outright hard work.  But, we are to put it on, nonetheless.  

Like a cloak, covering over all the garments of our character.  

Covering the beautiful garments of peace, joy, thanksgiving and praise.  Those things with which we clothe ourselves, as those who love the Lord.  

Putting love over the less-than-clean clothing that we have as part of our sinful nature.  That, though we have those beautiful garments from our Lord, are still present in our lives.  Love, covering all things - blanketing over all else that is good or bad. 

Some days putting on that love may be easy.  

Some days putting it on will be hard.   Very hard.  But, it's a choice we have to make, to put that love on.

Why?

Because, God tells us to.  Love is a command, not an option.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love....

Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another...

If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? "

I John 4:7-8, 11, 20

Such sobering words.

If we do not choose to love...if we say we don't love...we are not God's children.

We are liars.

We MUST love.

We MUST put it on.  Pick it up, dust it off, and put it on.  Hard and heavy as it may at first seem, we remember that God loves US.

Us, in our sin.

So, we can love too.

What's the most important thing?

LOVE.

Nailed to His cross

Sometimes I share about being a wife.

Sometimes I share about being a mother.

Sometimes I share about things I love.

Sometimes I share about things I do.

Today, it's all about my sins.

I read these verses today for devotions, and I was so overwhelmed as I was reminded of what they said, that I couldn't neglect sharing.

"And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses; 

 Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, 

nailing it to his cross; 

And having spoiled principalities and powers, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it." 

Colossians 2:13-15

Oh, how wonderful!!!

I was dead in my sins.  I was separated from God, by my sins.  They consumed me.  They were - and are - many. 

Vile.

Wicked.

Awful.

And, yet.....he forgave them all!   He blotted them out!  He made me alive!

He NAILED THEM TO HIS CROSS.

What a picture.  Those nails that were through His hands and His feet - those were MY sins nailing Him there.  MY sins that had Him hanging upon the tree, and suffering such agony and pain and torment.  It was the Lord who was taking MY punishment, and triumphing over sin for ME.  

So undeserving.

So amazing.

So inexplicably wonderful. 

That condemnation which declared 

"sinner - punishment by death eternally" 

now reads...

"redeemed - by the blood of the lamb"

Those large, Roman nails - nailing the Lord to the cruel cross - were there for ME.  As atonement for my sin.  Punishing the pure, spotless, Lamb of God, instead of me.  He was willing to suffer this way, and die, so that I could be eternally saved.

What a wonder. 

How can we not have tears in our eyes when we consider such love.

Such sacrifice.

Such selflessness.

To bow our head in wonder and say

"thank you"

And, in reality, we ought to be shouting it loud, and for every moment of the day.  Even still, we would not be able to fully thank Him for the depths He went to when He suffered on the cross.

What victory - my sin conquered by His death.

I finish with some words from hymn writers, who must have similarly felt a gratitude for Christ's work on the cross.  And a video of one of my favourite arrangers of piano music.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, it is well, with my soul

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:

If Jordan above me shall roll,

No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life

Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,

The sky, not the grave, is our goal;

Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!

Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

In Christ alone my hope is found,

He is my light, my strength, my song;

this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,

firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My Comforter, my All in All,

here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh

Fulness of God in helpless babe!

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones he came to save:

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied -

For every sin on Him was laid;

Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain:

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave he rose again!

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,

For I am His and He is mine -

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,

This is the power of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath.

Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Complete in Him

I love doing jigsaw puzzles.  I love the challenge of putting one of those big old 1000 piece puzzles together. Finding those edge pieces, getting my outside finished, and then filling in the middle.  Turning those pieces around, puzzling over them, until they slot into the right place. Then, there is nothing quite like the satisfaction of finishing it - getting all the pieces fitting together in perfection.  

Completed.

Every last piece where it belongs, so that it was one, big picture - it is a finished product that has an identity and you can see what the picture should be.

If there is one part missing, it is SO very frustrating, because you can't complete it.  It's not perfect.  It's not done.

It's incomplete.

Our life is a little bit like a jigsaw puzzle.  

Some people think that having certain things will "complete" their life.

Have you ever heard people saying of their husband

"I feel complete with him"?

or

"He makes me complete"?

Often, when talking about relationships, people talk about finding a spouse who "completes" them.

The same can be said about having children.  That they fill a space you had in your heart and life, and you feel a completion when you have them.  Like your life was missing something that only having your children can fill.

There are many other things that can be the same.

A nice home.

Some kind of pursuit or hobby.

A job.

Anything.

There are so many things that people think they need in order to be complete.

But these things are only like the main part of the jigsaw.  You build them all up, fitting all the pieces together.    I think the husband is a bit like the outside edge - it's important, but it doesn't "make" the picture.  The children are like so many of the parts in the middle.  They fill up what is missing, and start to make your life's picture something good to look at.

Don't think that my analogy is misplaced because of the size of the puzzle piece.  We're not thinking size here.  We're thinking of value.  Something doesn't need to be big to be the most valuable thing that you possess.  To the value of having a complete puzzle, you NEED the final piece.  It's not a completed puzzle, it's just NEARLY a completed puzzle.  And, that makes all the difference.  Some people's puzzles may just be like a little child's two or three piece puzzle.  It may not be a complicated, big puzzle.  Just yourself, with no husband or children.  Just a husband, and no children.  Maybe it's not complicated, and intricate. 

But, unless you have that final piece, the picture is still NOT complete.  It's looking good, there's a picture to see, but it's not finished.  It's not fully there.  It's not complete.

The only way you can have a complete picture, is if you have the final piece. 

That's the Lord.

We are only complete in HIM.  We can search for satisfaction in so many other things in life.  They may seem like big things, and they may even be important things.  But, they are not what provides the completion in our lives. 

Only Christ makes us complete.

I'm not suggesting that our husband, our children, our pursuits and all the other things in life are not good, right and important.  God has told us in His word of the value of these things, and it was He that created them for our pleasure, enjoyment and humanity.  But, we must never, NEVER get to the place where we think that they are what makes us complete.  That we dwell so much upon them, and hold onto them so tightly, as to forget that we are only complete in Christ.  That HE and He alone is what we need to hold onto, to dwell upon, to savour and seek for, in order to be complete.  

Many, many people in life - Christians, not just the world - work so hard on things that they think to be important.  Their family, their job, their home, their fitness, their hobbies.  It can become so that it is the most important thing in their life, and the Lord gets pushed to the side.  Other things crowd in, and to everyone around the picture looks pretty good.  But, if you look at it through spiritual eyes, it's not complete.  If Christ isn't there, and he is not the most important thing in our lives, we are not complete.  

It is not right to get to the point that we think we cannot possibly function or manage without these other things in our life.  If Christ completes us, then that means we have everything we need.  He is the completion of every part of our life, and our needs are met entirely in Him, and Him alone.  

Oh how my own soul is rebuked.  So many things in life crowd in, and we can put our focus on them for our satisfaction.  When, in fact, that satisfaction will never come unless we put all our focus on pleasing the Lord, and putting Him first.  If it is Him that we are complete in, should we not want to relish that, and enjoy it?  Should we not want to make that the most important pursuit in life - making Him our all and in all?

Let's lay out our lives before us, and make sure that we are putting Christ before all else. 

"...ye are complete in Him."

Colossians 2:10

"T" day

Today heralds a day which I neither relish, love or enjoy.

I try very hard to remain upbeat about my mothering, but this is something that I endure with a smile, rather than loving with a passion.

Yes.  It's Toilet Training time.

That time when you spend half of your life asking a small person if they need the toilet.

"Are you sure you don't need to go?"

Words that will end up being spoken repeatedly in the coming days and weeks.

Those days when your ear is tuned in to the potential sound of liquid hitting flooring, and subsequently running like a mad woman with a small child held at arms length, as fast as possible to the nearest toilet.

Throw into the mix a nursing baby, and 4 children seeking your help to get school work done, normal household duties and meals that still need to be prepared, and you have well and truly entered the mad house.

Extremely enthusiastic accolades when the correct "item" is deposited in the correct place will shortly be heralded.

Brothers and sisters cheering and clapping a chuffed little brother.

Lots of anti-bacterial spray, kitchen roll and spare clothes lined up ready.

The thing is, he's had his big boy underwear on for well over an hour, and has done nothing in the toilet, and nothing anywhere else for that matter.

So, with the day stretching ahead, and the words "I can do all things through Christ..." and "do all things without murmuring" ringing in my head, I shall nip off and see where my big boy has gone, and what mischief may have gone on somewhere else in the house.....

To be continued.....