"So you want to be a Stay at Home Mum" {a letter from me, to you}

Dear mother,

So, you're thinking of becoming a Stay at Home Mum?

Maybe you are already a Mum and this is going to be a new start for you?

Maybe you are about to become a Mum for the first time, and you will be choosing to stay at home with your new baby?

There are so many thoughts that must be going through your head right now.  I know, because I was there. It was a long time ago, but I was there.

I must admit, I didn't think I would be here, nearly 14 years later, with 8 children, and a blog. But, here I am, nonetheless.

I didn't really have any friends in the same situation that I could simply "follow".

For us, it was a no-brainer. We very much felt that God had called me home to be a mother. After all, He deigned me to be the one to carry my baby through a pregnancy, and then to nourish it from my very body after it was born. Staying at home to care for my child and the children that came after, was the natural thing to do.  Moreso, the Bible showed me that was what I should do.

"teach the young women to be.... keepers at home".

That is what a young woman is instructed to do in Titus 2.

I have also to love my children.

If you put those two things together, the best place to love my children, and to train them, is if *I* am with them in the home.

We looked to history. It was always the natural thing for mothers to do.  Only after WWII did women begin to leave the home and go out to work in the "workplace".  Yes, for centuries, women have worked to bring in employment, but they still looked after their own children.  They had them working alongside them, in whatever they did. Why? Because it was as natural as breathing.

That was what it was like for me. The choice. Natural as breathing. I wanted to be with my child all the time.  I didn't want to miss a thing.

We had some very difficult financial times in the early days. My husband hadn't long left Bible College, and we were living by faith. He started in a Church, but the salary was not huge.

More children were given to us. Educational choices faced us.

Still, I chose to stay at home with my family. Nurturing them and raising them, to God's glory.

There have been some really hard days.

Let me tell you honestly.

There have been a LOT of hard days.

There have been days where I could happily have run off. Happily.

I would ask myself this one question.  That still small voice would whisper it to me.

"Why are you doing this?   What is your guiding light?"

"Because God wants me to, and He has designed me to care for my children.  He has led me to do it"

"Why not give up?"

"Because God will provide all of my needs".

That's the most important thing for any Christian SAHM to remember.

WHY you are doing it?

Your reasons may not be quite the same as mine. They may be similar, but not the same. But, WHY are you doing it? 

Keeping your eyes on that will sustain you through the difficult days, because, they will come. 

When they baby is crying for the hundredth night in a row.

When you've been cleaning vomit off beds for night on end.

When you're so tired you could fall asleep on your feet.

When things are a struggle financially, and it's tempting to return to work. 

Cling to WHY you made the choice in the first place. If it's centred upon Christ, and honouring Him, He will honour you. He will carry you through. 

Find all the promises in His Word, and claim them.  Apply them to your journey.  Let them sustain you and strengthen you. 

Do what you can, BEFORE you enter the role of a SAHM, to be prepared. Think about money first. Think about where you live and what you have nearby. 

Above all else, think about it being God's calling. If He calls you, He equips you. He will provide your every need.  

You may need to adapt.  

You may need to make big changes.  

You may only need to make small ones. 

You may need to change your priorities, plans and goals in life. 

Whatever you need to do, keep your eyes on the WHY. When you remember the why, you'll see the how. 

I am doing it to honour God. 

Not to "be the best".

Not to hear a "You're doing great" from anyone else.

Not to be "Mother of the Year".

Not to follow some advice from a book. 

Simply, and wholly, to obey God's call in my life.

THAT is what keeps me grounded.  

THAT is what keeps me humble.  

THAT is what keeps me going.

Following after God, and relying on His strength. 

You can do it, too. 

"With God, all things are possible."

With love, prayers and a desire that others may know the peace and satisfaction of following after God's plan for them,

Caroline

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