I'm back! {I should have said I was GONE!}

HELLLLOOOOO!

I feel terrible.

I should have formally announced that I was taking a break from blogging, but I didn't really PLAN it. It just kind of happened.

It went a bit like this.

I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I had so much I was trying to do that NEEDED to be done.

Then, I was passing on some advice to a sweet lady who was also feeling overwhelmed. Someone had said to me that it's easy to try and do things that are GOOD, but aren't actually the BEST thing for you at that time. Nothin' wrong with the THING, just that it's not best for that season.

I passed on the advice, then had a revelation.

I needed to take the advice for MYSELF!!

I took a FB break. It was just something else I didn't need to be thinking about. (I'm still not on my "normal" account. I had to set up another with the bare bones of necessity, because of groups I was in relating to school work we are involved with on the internet - but, I hope to get back soon....)

It then led to be me taking a general internet break. Which included the blog. It was something else that was GOOD, but not best for me in that season.

I have missed it more than the other internet related things. I love connecting with other Mums, but I just needed to connect with the Lord, and with my family.

I should have just let you all know, but that is how hard I was finding things. Just getting up the mental "togetherness" to write a blog post was beyond my capabilities at that time.

Truth.

For me to admit I was overwhelmed was a big step on its own. I'm a "get on with things" kind of gal, but I had to just acknowledge that I couldn't. And STOP! Rest. Have a break.

It's done me the world of good. It's been a help to body, mind and soul.

But, I'm keen to get back. Blogging helps me to thing about what I am doing, and to sift through my own learning and life. If it can help others at the same time, all the better, right?

So, what have I been up to??

I have to start with the most important thing, really....

I've had a baby.

I really must type up my birth story, but THAT is a whole 'nother story, not for today,

Suffice to say, he has arrived.

Yes, he.

Ezekiel Timothy Cordle - just a touch over 7lb 2 oz - born 16/02/16 at 6.30am. (After a looong night - but, I said, that's a whole other blog post!)

Enough of the gibbering.  Here he is...

Freshly newborn. Can you smell that sweet newborn smell?

I think he was a day old here. He's been so alert!

Sleeping...

More sleeping...

Oh, and more sleeping...

Just this last weekend he started smiling, too. Look at THAT for a smile! 

Mummy and Ezekiel.

I love this one. Tabitha had been so excited about the "baba". This was the evening after he was born. Look how pleased she is! SOOOOO precious. 

And this is when we went for a walk when he was about a week old. Yes, he's tucked in there in my Moby sling. All snug in my coat. 

Sorry about that. Got a bit carried away with pictures of a cute little boy.

I have sooo much more to share about what I have been up to, but I just wanted to say a "hello", and launch back into the blogosphere. 

Art and lettering.

Scripture writing.

Journaling Bible.

And, most of all I can't wait to share again what God teaches me as I walk daily with Him. 

I've had some really hard days in the last year, and especially the last 6 months. Really hard. I was soooo tired, emotionally, physically and mentally. 

Ezekiel's name literally means "God strengthens".

We chose it because that is how I got through this pregnancy. By God giving me the strength I need. (And, by the by, after the delivery I had, the name meant even more... more of that another day!)

I am so thankful for my faithful heavenly Father, who gives me the strength I need every day, unfailingly. As the hymn writer penned

"He gives me strength from day to day, without Him I would fall"

My verse for this year was Psalm 73:26. God is my strength, and He is my portion - He is EVERYTHING I need. He is sufficient. He is God. How could I want or need anything more?

I wanted to make a graphic but my photo editing program I use is acting up tonight. I remembered I have the verse on a special notebook I have (more about THAT in another blog post, too), but a shout out to the source, to give proper credit - Rebecca at Grace and Salt Ink, and her amazing lettering.

So, this is me - back. By God's grace and strength I hope to pick up where I left off, and continue to encourage other wives, mums, and women who seek to follow after Christ in an everyday way.

I can't wait to share with you about the things that I love and have learnt.

Be back soon!

Love is free {lessons from Cinderella}

On Saturday I watched the new Cinderella movie with my children.  That was a quite a feat for me. I got my jobs done in time to sit down and watch a movie! It was Abi's birthday, and her birthday treat, so, of course, I wanted to enjoy it too.... aherm.

I really enjoyed it, as "fairytales" go. It was well made, and more than anything else, it wasn't all lovey-dovey. I liked that the main theme was "courage and kindness".

Courage to do something different. Not always doing what "has always been done". Realising the right thing can sometimes go against the norm.

Kindness. It's always right to try and show kindness. It's not always EASY, but it's the right thing to do. You can even find someone to be really obnoxious and mean, and still show kindness. Look at how Cinderella turns around and says "I forgive you" to her step mother, whilst still having the courage to walk away from a horrible situation.

That's the obvious and predictable lesson from the movie. It's a good plan in life - courage and kindness.

It's a good plan as a Christian.  The courage to do what is right, and to follow after God and His ways, even if no-one else is doing it. The willingness to show kindness, even if a situation or a person seems not to deserve it. "Be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another".  It's a spot on, Biblical principle.

But, no.

That is not what *I* took away from it.

One little thing that Cinderella said got me thinking.

"Love is free"

Why, yes, Cinderella, you are so right. Love IS free!

But, it doesn't always mean there is no cost involved.

That's what got me thinking.

The Biblical pattern we have is to love unconditionally. Our love is given freely, as the powerful verse in Hosea reminds us

"I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely:"

Hosea 14:4  

If we are to be followers of Christ, we need to love freely, as He loves us. Despite our backsliding and sinful failings, He loves us freely. 

But, there is a cost involved in loving. 

It doesn't necessarily cost us financially, in a literal sense, but in many other senses, there is cost. 

It will cost us time. We need to be willing to give of our time, to express our love to others. 

It will cost us self. We need to be willing to give up our selfish desires, when we extend love to others. 

It will cost us emotionally. We need to be willing to give of ourselves - heart and soul - to others, so that we may end up feeling totally spent, in making sure our love is expressed to the ones we love.

It will cost us because love should be sacrificial. It literally means that it costs US. 

We give up of ourselves in order to extend love to someone else. 

"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you;"

II Corinthians 12:15 

It's NOT about a fuzzy feeling on the inside, however. In fact, sometimes in order to show love to someone else it can break our heart on the inside. We may have to do or say things as we give our love freely, that hurts us and makes us fall apart in ways people will never see. It may not be reciprocated (see the rest of II Corinthians 12:15 for the reality check on THAT one... go on, look it up....)

But, we still love freely.

We need look no further for our example than the Lord. Freely, He loved us.  Freely, He GAVE. He have up His very life - His body broken, on the tree. Assaulted, hurt, despised, rejected of men. 

"freely ye have received, freely give."

Matthew 10:8 

Loving.

Freely.

How do I love? Do I love freely enough? Do I extend my love sacrificially and spending all of myself, in order to freely give that love.

Yes, love is free, but we need to be willing to count the cost. 

Friendship {Love with hands and feet}

I need to just share something.

God has blessed me INCREDIBLY, with wonderful friends.

It's one of the reasons why I wanted to share some truths about friendship - it's something I wanted to acknowledge that I have been blessed with, and to help others see - and myself - how to be a better friend to others.  As good as the friends *I* have.

The last few weeks has seen me pondering it in particular, because my friends have been an especial blessing.  Many things have got me thinking, and that's where the posts have sprung from.  
So, here I am saying, for all the world to hear - MY FRIENDS ARE THE BEST!

They all encourage me in so many ways, and these next few posts will have me looking at specific ways that we can be good friends to others, inspired by MY friends!

Today springs entirely from a very practical aspect.  

Good friends DO.

In life, it's all very well to "talk the talk" of being friends with someone, without "walking the walk".  As I have mentioned before, my friends have done many things for me - from cleaning toilets, to baking and cooking.  Looking after children.  Sending me random gifts.  Providing for our needs financially and physically.  Loads of ways.

This week, one particular friend has shown her friendship in a "doing" way.  Now, let me clarify, lest other friends feel neglected - MANY of my friends have done things for me, in the past, all of which are massively appreciated.  This week is just right there in my mind, and I am using it as a lesson for ME, as much as anyone else.

Our friends have been to visit, and with that comes work.  Work, which I add, I am so thrilled to do.  My lovely friend, however, very willingly got to work herself, in my home, and did some of my jobs for me! She cleaned my kitchen floor.  She did my ironing today (which I didn't get done last week, as my back was sore, and today I have been feeling ill - so she did it!). Two things, but they meant SO much! My floor was, quite frankly, a sticky mess. Children, helping themselves to drinks, and spilling them - it makes for mankiness.  So, whilst I was doing something else, she cleaned my floor.

Now, before I get onto anything else, it raises an important issue about friendship.  You cannot a) feel proud, or b) feel judged. These are two really crucial elements in the Christian life, but also in friendship.  If you have a job that needs to be done, be willing to accept the help.  Say thank-you, and let them get on with it, if they offer.  Don't start thinking that they must consider you to be an awful housekeeper, if they offer to do something for you. Trust me, I have been there. You need to be willing to say "yes", and just appreciate their genuine offer, without analysing WHY they have offered! Just take it that they are being helpful, and accept it as such, and leave their motive for offering with the Lord, and presume it to be good and honourable! 

I was so grateful that she was willing to do that for me.  To get on her hands and knees (her preferred method of doing it), and clean my sticky floor.

I have had others clean my toilets.  My TOILETS.  Simply because they knew it would help me.

Others, like my friend today, have done my ironing, when they knew it had got behind.  Today, I both felt ill myself, and had clingy little ones, also feeling unwell.  To know, now, that my ironing is done, is such a relief.  One less job to do, when I now know I have children who need me to simply sit and cuddle.

I am reminded of the important aspect of friendship - it's showing love in a practical way.  Being love with hand and legs.  DOING.

This verse in Galatians sums it up.

"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."

Galatians 6:2 

Bearing each other's burdens.

Yes, that can mean in a spiritual, or emotional way.  But, what better way to do that, than PRACTICALLY?! If you see your friend with a "burden" - their load - the responsibilities they "carry" - then help bear it!  Take that weight off, by removing the burden, in whatever way you can.  Different friends will have different burdens.  You may need to be creative, but there could be a way of helping.  

One of the other ways, that I have massively appreciated "burden bearing", is when I have had meals provided after a baby.  Things in the UK are nothing like the USA, but I have had the odd person helping like that.  It's SUCH a help! IT doesn't have to be after a baby - illness, busyness, trying circumstances - all these things can mean it's hard just to do the everyday task of cooking. Having a meal just there, can be such a help.

Lots of things you can do, in ways that will help your friends, in particular.

Hebrews also talks on this practical subject.

"But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."

Hebrews 13:16 

The first part is fairly self explanatory.  Doing good.  Find good things, and do them.  Whatever you know is good for your friend, do it! It means knowing them well enough to understand what would BE a good thing, of course! 

Then, the next instruction is to "communicate".  In a modern context, we think of that as simply talking, or being in contact by some other means.  However, having a look at old "Strongs", expands on it.

communicate = partnership, that is, (literally) participation, or (social) intercourse, or (pecuniary) benefaction: - (to) communicate (-ation), communion, (contri-), distribution, fellowship.

It's to do with partnership.  Working together.  Being a benefactor - giving to others. Fellowship.

Friendship should have a practical application, because it is well pleasing to God.  Can you see, too, that it's a SACRIFICE? It means giving up of self, and giving to others. Giving of our time and effort, and not just our things or our finances.  Giving, by doing.  I am pretty sure that many of the things done for me, by my friends, were a sacrifice.  I mean, who LIKES cleaning toilets, or floors? OK, some may do, but most don't! 

 

But, before I finish,  what's the "law of Christ" that the verse in Galatians speaks of?

 

"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets."

Matthew 7:12  

It really challenged my heart and mind today.

We need to do to others, what we would have them do to us.

Did I appreciate, love, and enjoy my friends showing me practical demonstrations of kindness and friendship??

ABSOLUTELY!

Then, what's the law and the prophets?  If I would have them do it for me, I need to do it for THEM.

Another "summing up the laws and prophets" is the WHY we should do it!

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 

This is the first and great commandment. 

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 

On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

Matthew 22:37-40

We are demonstrating our love, by loving them as much as we love ourselves.

We then SHOW that love, by DOING.

Am I a "doing" friend for others? I really don't think I am as faithful a friend, as my friends are to me. I need to work at finding things to do for my friends, to bless them as much as they bless me!

How can you bless your friends in a practical way?  Do they need meals?  Help with children? Help around their home, for whatever reason? Help with transport?

Go on - show your love to your friends with hands and feet.

 

Why I don't like Santa {the antithesis to Jesus}

I was standing waiting to get served at my local store, when I heard a child talking to a parent. The child was pawing at some lip balm (of all things), wanting some.

The mother replied thus

"If you are good boy, you may be lucky and Santa will bring you some"

I have had SO many people ask my children -

"So, what are you wanting from Santa"

"Have you been a good boy/girl?"

I politely reply that half my children have no idea who this "Santa" is, who they speak of, and the others are not awaiting any gifts from aforementioned character.

I got thinking, though, tonight, about Santa, and what that woman said to her child.

"If you are good" and "Santa will bring you some".

It got me thinking about the truth of gift-giving.

It got me thinking about the "Giver", and what I want my children to know about Him.

 I want my children to learn about the greatest Giver.

Jesus.

I want them to know that they are NOT good.  That they are sinners, in the sight of a righteous God.

"Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life. 

For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous."

Romaans 5:18-19

I need them to know that no matter WHAT good they try to do, they are still sinners, and they do NOT deserve any good thing.

They can try as hard as they want, but doing good will not get them closer to Jesus, and to the Salvation they need.

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 

Not of works, lest any man should boast."

Ephesians 2:8-9

What they need is a Saviour.  The one who came as babe, wrapped in mortal frailty, born in such humble surroundings. The one who grew to be a man who would heal the sick, raise the dead, make the blind to see.  The one who spilled His blood, on a cruel Roman cross, to take the penalty for sin, so they could be saved.

NOTHING they can do will save them from sin's penalty. They can be good, nice, wonderful, and lovely until the cows come home - it's worth NOTHING.

I need them to understand that.

That Jesus is the best, and only, gift they will ever need.  A gift that was offered freely, with no conditions.

"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. "

Romans 6:23

Jesus.  The Best Gift.

"Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift."

2 Corinthians 9:15

If I want them to understand that, I need the concept to be reinforced in our lives.

That means, for me, at Christmas they get gifts from their parents.  They are given out of love - unconditional love - and don't have a requirement of "good" or "nice", in order to be given. No threats for weeks on end, hoping to get good behaviour from them to "deserve" their gift.

Given, simply because we love them, and it's good to give.

We want our children to see the connection.  That their parents express their love,  in part,  through gift-giving.  That God is the ultimate gift-giver - Jesus, the best gift.  Both given from unconditional love. Both given despite the recipient being undeserving.

How can I teach these truths to my children, if I tell them lies about a man who will give them gifts if they are good? I just can't do it.

I want my children to learn only of the kind of love and giving that is a reflection of that is a reflection of

Santa just doesn't cut it for us.

A demonstration of unconditional love, does.

Faithfulness {every night}

Another "working" week has come and gone.

I know, I know, us mothers don't have a "working week".  It's sun up, to sun down, every day of the year.

In this house, though, there is a little pressure lifted off, as school has finished for the weekend.  Yes, there are still jobs for me to do, but the added strain of school is lifted.

I'll not lie.

I love to homeschool, but I love Friday nights.

I'm about to iron for a little while, as I do every Friday night.  Then I will relax. Internally, and externally.  It's a chance for a "breather", when I can unwind, and the pace changes.

This evening, my mind has been drawn to God's faithfulness.

My lovely friend, Menekse (Men-eck-sha, in case you are wondering.....), has just started up a home business, making hand made items, in particular fabric art to hang on the wall.  (Shameless plug coming up ..... find her at The Primrose Parasol, on Etsy, or on Facebook)  When she opened her Etsy shop the other week, after giving sneak peeks of the upcoming products, my eye was drawn to THIS beauty.

THIS is one of my all time favourite verses.  I'll not get into the many reasons why, right now, but suffice to say, I have MUCH to be thankful for, and I try to do so every day.

The next verse, though, is so important, too.

"To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night".

Thankfulness stems from two crucial things.

God's lovingkindness, and His faithfulness.

Without those two elements, I have NOTHING to be thankful for at all.

Without it, I am lost, and hopeless.

The Psalmist also says

"Because thy lovingkindness is BETTER THAN LIFE, my lips shall praise thee".

My life is FILLED with wonderful things, all graciously given from God.  

Filled.

No matter what testing and trials I am going through (and, trust me, I have them), I have so much in my life for which I can be thankful.

Think of it.

Think of all the wonderful things you have, right now.

It will take you some time.

Now, think that God's lovingkindness is BETTER than that.

His love.  His kindness.  It's better than any of those wonderful things for which we are thankful.

How can we do anything BUT praise Him, and return thanks to the Giver of every good and perfect gift?

Now see how that verse tells us we should begin and end our day?

We don't begin with a sigh, as we have to get up, yet again, from beautiful sleep, to attend to our daily responsibilities.

No, we start by shewing forth His lovingkindness.

Not "think", or "breathe a silent thank-you", for it - SHEW FORTH! Let everyone around us KNOW we are thankful for His lovingkindness, in the way we greet the day, and greet them.  Our lives should be ones that reflect our gratitude. 

How should we end?

With a head hitting the pillow, thankful once again for sleep, awaiting us, and a "I'm so glad THAT day is over"?

No, we end with expressing appreciation for His faithfulness, every night.

Not forgetting it -  but being thankful for it, and saying so.

I am guilty of forgetting.  I remember to say thank-you through the day, and forget to end it well, with acknowledgement of God's faithfulness.

Oh, how faithful!

Faithfulness encompasses God's security, stability, steadiness, truth and trustworthiness.

At the end of the day, we can raise our Ebenezer - "Hitherto hath  the Lord helped me".

No matter what happens, GOD IS FAITHFUL.

I can't worry about the "what ifs" of my testing situations, I need to just trust that God is, and will be, faithful.  Ending the day with that thought chases away any doubt, fear and anxiety. 

Focus on the thankfulness.

So, today, I look at so much around me, and I am thankful.  

Thankful for God's lovingkindness and faithfulness, which then gives me SO much for which to be thankful, right here, right now.

Thankful for my crazy children, making funny faces to their Uncle, a token of God's faithfulness in giving them life, health, wonderful personalities.

The faithfulness of God in the salvation of Bethany, and her realisation that she needed to share that with others.

God's faithfulness in gifting me with a wonderful husband, whom He gives great leadership, grace and love, to bless me with as his wife.

My precious girls, who God has faithfully given to us, to bring joy into our lives. 

God's faithfulness in giving me strength to deal with my two most challenging children, so far!  Such joy, along with the challenges!

God's faithfulness in giving life to this precious, growing girl, when we thought that her life was gone.

A recently rediscovered photo, reminding me of God' faithfulness as He placed me in a loving, kind, supportive and wonderful family, as I grew up, who all love and serve the Lord where He has placed them,

(Photo August '05)

Every morning....

Every night....

Thankfulness.

Lovingkindness.

Faithfulness.

Blogging Through the Alphabet {Quickened, Redeemed, Saved... }

"But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, 

Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)"

Ephesians 2:5

"redeemed.... with the precious blood of Christ"

1Peter 1:18&19  

"Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;"

Titus 3:5

I don't think there has been any other post that has given me as much joy, as this one has.

Having to catch up on three weeks of Blogging through the alphabet, just LENDS itself to something splendid.

Something so special, it needs multiple words to describe it, yet it won't do it justice.

This week is the week that my eldest daughter, Bethany, came to us and told us that she has trusted the Lord for salvation, and has asked to be baptised.

It was funny how it came about, that she told us. I had been chatting with some online friends about believers baptism versus infant baptism.  I proceeded to further discuss it with Robert, when he got home.  As the children were gathering for family worship, we had concluded our discussion, so Robert took the opportunity to explain what Paedo-baptism is, and why we believed in baptism of believers, by full immersion. 

After family worship, I went off to make dinner for Robert and I, and when I came back through, a teary-eyed Bethany was talking to Robert. He told her to tell me what she had told him.

When Beth was 7, she knelt by her bed and asked God to save her.  The only motivation was fear of punishment in hell.  Earlier this year, I took Josh and Beth to the baptism of a friend's daughter.  By listening to all that was said that night, Beth realised that her prayer, aged 7, was not one of true repentance for sin, only a desire not to be sent to hell.  She realised that salvation only comes from true repentance, and an acknowledgement that only Christ, through His shed blood, can save from that punishment for sin.  She cried out to God, that night, and asked him to save her. In her words "my tears of sadness turned to tears of joy, as I realised that God had saved me from my sin". 

What utter, and sheer joy.  My heart was full, and my own eyes filled with tears.  

To hear your precious child claim Christ as her Saviour, is a very, very precious thing.  Not only is she my daughter, she is my sister in Christ - we are joint heirs with Jesus! 

In the coming weeks, we will arrange a baptismal service for her.  Then, she will be able to publicly profess her faith in Christ.  Baptism will not save her, or sanctify her - it is simply her profession that she is Christ's, and He is her's. 

Our prayer is that others will come to a saving faith, through her profession, as the profession of faith of ANOTHER Bethany, earlier this year, brought her to an understanding of her own sinful state before God.

Interestingly, Robert had prayed, with a deacon on Monday, that they would see souls saved in the Church, and that especially the baptistery would be opened and baptisms would take place!  How quickly God answered prayer!

If you are reading this post, and you call yourself a Christian, look at the three verses I shared at the beginning, with my Q, R and S. They pretty much sum up the way of salvation.

We are all sinners.  Dead, in trespasses and sins.  Not dead in body - we are very much alive.  Dead in our souls. The Bible says "the wages of sin is death".  Our sin has a price.  We deserve death.  Bethany was right to fear such, because it is what happens, not just to our bodies, but to our souls, if we die in our sin.  We will be eternally punished, in hell.

Praise God, that's not the end to it.

We CAN be saved!

The verses make one thing VERY clear, though.

We CAN NOT SAVE OURSELVES.

No-one else can save us, either.

I couldn't save Bethany.  I desire that ALL my children will be saved, but I cannot save them.

"What can wash away my sin?"

NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS.

Because God loves us, He sent His one and only, precious Son, who died on a cruel cross, shedding His blood, to save us - quicken - to make alive. Spiritual death, to spiritual life. Redeeming us - paying for our sins, so we belong to Him. Saved - from death, unto life.

It's by grace - that special love which God loves us with - His riches, at Christ's expense - that we are saved. 

Washed clean from sin - into new life.  Not walking in our old ways, and the ways of the world, but in God's ways, by the presence of the Holy Spirit in our life. When we are saved, we are regenerated, by the presence of the Holy Spirit within.  

THAT is what has happened in the heart of my precious daughter, and it thrills mine beyond words.

I can only imagine how emotional it will be, the day she is baptised! 

I love how the Lord used so many things to shape that moment on Monday.  Working over many different occasions, to bring her to Himself.  

I think, when we have been saved for a while, we can too quickly forget that immense joy that new life in Christ brings.  My heart is full, as I see it afresh, and rejoice, once again, for my own salvation - that Christ has drawn me unto Himself, also.

As the angels in heaven rejoice, over one sinner that has repented, will you not join me, too, and rejoice also? Pray with me, too, that we will see many more souls saved - especially our own family and friends - to the glory of God.

I pray that the Lord will help me to guide her in her new-found faith, and help her to grow closer to Jesus, and that the Lord would use her mightily in the extension of His kingdom.

Before the sun goes down {ending your day the right way}

When we got married, various people gave us advice and shared scriptures with us.  There was so much wisdom in what was shared, and I valued it greatly.

There was one piece of advice, however, that I think is SO important, and worthy of sharing.

"let not the sun go down upon your wrath:"

Ephesians 4:26

How we deal with disagreement and conflict can have a huge effect upon our marriage.  

Imagine the scenario.  

(You may not have to imagine very hard)

You have been having a discussion with your husband, on a matter of great emotion and importance.  You don't agree over the issue, and emotions run high.   Certainly, female emotions have a tendency towards that, but men can also have the same emotional response about certain subjects.

No agreement is made on the subject.  

Maybe hurtful or angry words are spoken.

Bitter and hurtful thoughts are spinning around in your heart and mind.

Often, these things happen in the evening, because that's when we have the chance to talk about things.

The temptation is to march up to bed, ignore your husband, and go to sleep in a sulk, with those angry thoughts still swirling around in your head.

Maybe you feel you are in "the right".  Maybe there is nothing you have done "wrong".  

"Why should *I* be the one to sort it out?"

As I mentioned, recently, pride has a lot to answer for in our lives, and can easily sneak into our marriages.  Refusing to sort out a matter before we put our head upon the pillow, is so often rooted in pride.

Remember what I said?

"Pride goeth before destruction"

If we choose not to be the one to resolve issues in our marriage, especially before the day is through, we are heading for destruction.

I must say, by God's grace, that we have never ended a day without sorting issues out.  If it happens earlier in the day, we sort it out before the day is through, too. I HATE being at odds with Robert, and certainly am NOT the "not speaking to you" type! 

If God's Word says we shouldn't let the sun go down on our anger, then we shouldn't.  There's no excuse for allowing angry and bitter thoughts and emotions to carry on in our hearts.  We NEED to sort it out.

It's as easy as these words.

"I'm sorry".

Why are they the hardest words to utter?  Pride, again.

We somehow feel that apologising means that we were "wrong" and our husband was "right".  Perhaps we feel we are lying, because we don't feel we need to apologise for our perspective or opinions.

That's not how it should be. Not at all.  

It means we are sorry that it has happened.  We are sorry that we have disagreed.  We are sorry for any words spoken in an unkind or unloving way.

It means we want to make peace, and not allow a disagreement to taint our marriage as a whole.

It means we have a spirit of humility, instead of a spirit of pride.

You see, the temptation, when we don't sort something out BEFORE we go to sleep, is to let it carry on into the next day.  The longer it goes on, the longer we have to allow a "root of bitterness" to dig into our hearts.  The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to say sorry.

When we sort it out, and "make up", before bed, it's done.  Our heart and our relationship is restored. Yes, there may be issues still to be resolved, but our hearts will be in the right place to do it.

And, yes, "kiss and make up" is one of the best ways to do it!  Connecting in a physical way is a great way to make our heart follow after.  Hugging is better still.  I know, personally, that when we hug, the anger melts away, and I just want to restore that connection that we lost, by not being in agreement.

It's like that verse in Psalms

"Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation"

When the Psalmist recognises his sin, he sees that He doesn't have the same relationship with the Lord that he had before.

The same applies to our marriages.  We lose that closeness, when we have anger and bitterness.  It needs to be restored.  We need to talk, say "sorry", and sort our hearts out.

Then the joy we had before can be restored.

I so appreciate the wisdom that was shared with us.  If you don't do this already, I pray that you will do it in your marriage and, indeed, in ANY relationship.  If you already do, I pray that we will be given daily grace to keep on ending our days in that way.

You are Loved {A Good Morning Girls book study}

I have had a rather traumatic 24 hours. Yesterday evening, my cutie little Simeon got his hand caught in the hinge side of a door, and gashed his hand, and bruised it, too. It was an unavoidable accident, but was traumatic for all involved, not least of all Simeon.

I HATE it when a child gets hurt.  I desperately wanted to be the one to take him into the hospital to e checked, but I had Tabitha to care for, so I stayed at home.  After several hours of waiting, and being seen, Robert and Simeon arrived back home, at nearly 1 am. Simeon had his hand steri-stripped and glued, but there was no "major" damaged, which was an answer to prayer.

He's bounced back remarkably well today, and, in fact, we've had trouble keeping him still! Just his usual "Simeon" self! The challenge will be for us, trying to keep his dressings on!

Times like this emphasise just how much you love your children. Seeing them in pain, and not being able to instantly make it all better, is SO hard.  Seeing another child so sad, because she felt responsible for what she perceived to be her fault, and having to console her, and try and convince her hurting heart that it was an accident, with no-one to blame!  Trying to explain to the others what was happening, and reassure them it WOULD be ok.

I have also, recently, heard of some dreadfully sad situations, with children seriously ill, and dying. That, too, makes me hug my children closer, and love them all the more.

We simply don't know what a day will bring forth, and we need to just make every moment count - loving deeply, sincerely, unconditionally.  The love that you have for those closest to you, is almost indescribable.  It's a very special bond, which God has given us.

Loving our family, however, is NOTHING compared to how God loves us.  Our love is flawed by mortal imperfections, and doesn't hold a candle to the shining example of God's love.

Today, I began the latest Good Morning Girls study.  I have joined in others before now, usually based on a portion of scripture, or a book of the Bible.  This summer's one is a bit different.  It's based on the new book, co-written by Sally Clarkson, and Angela Perritt, called "You are Loved - embracing the everlasting love God has for you".

We have a question we ask OFTEN in this house.  "What's the most important thing?" to which, of course, the answer is "love".

Which one of doesn't need to remind ourselves of God's love for us?  Which of us doesn't need to learn more about love?  We are sinners, saved by God's grace, but often feel our sinfulness deeply.  It is tempting to feel that as we are so unloveable, that we are undeserving of God's love.  Yet, He DOES love us.  There may be times that we don't fully understand God, and His love for us, or how to love others, in the way God loves us. Perhaps we battle with Satan, trying to tell us we don't deserve God's love at all?

This 8 week study covers all of these issues, and more.  The chapters you read are not long, and are easy to read. There is a memory verse and a challenge for each week, a scripture portion to read daily, verses to use in a SOAP study method (as I explained here), and deeper questions to study. You can do as much or as little as your available time allows, and you will be blessed, I am sure, even if you were just to follow the reading plan.

If you want to follow along, find out more information at the Good Morning Girls page.  They will be sharing various helps and encouragements along the way, including video messages from the authors.   I will also be sharing something, every week, about what I am learning from the study.

As I have said before, reading and studying God's Word is always worthwhile.  I would also say that anything I have read by Sally Clarkson is extremely worthwhile, as she truly understnads the hearts of wives and mothers.

You can follow along very simply, or if you have more time you can be more involved.  Either way, consider joining in with this study, over the next couple of months.  I am sure your heart will be blessed.

I will finish y sharing this week's memory verse.  It's a good'un!

What blessed, precious truths!!

God is mighty - He will save - He will rejoice over you - you can rest in his love.

Resting in God's love.

, 

Letting go of all our earthly cares, sorrows, trials, and exhaustions, and simply REST, in the knowledge that we are loved by a mighty God.

I trust that you are able to join in with this study - you can buy the book as a paperback, or in Kindle edition. (If you are Amazon Prime customer, you can borrow it for FREE!)  Alternatively, you can just follow the simple reading plan each week.

Looking forward to learning and growing this summer. Will you join me?

A warning against spiritual OCD {pouring out love}

Have you ever read the account, in the scriptures, about Simon the Pharisee, and the woman who washed Jesus' feet?

It heard a deeply challenging message about them, whilst on holiday, about an issue I see cropping up all too often.  I see it amongst Christians, in a general sense, and I see myself doing it as a mother, too. 

What?

Being so worried about the externals, and how things are done, that you lose the passion and heart of the Lord.

Simon, as a Pharisee, was obsessed about the outward appearance, and particularly about cleaning rituals. They had hand washing routines that were almost ridiculous. Always concerned about the outward, yet the Lord likened them to whitened sepulchres...white and clean on the outside, rotten on the inside.

Simon had huge issues with the woman who was in his home. Having let her hair down (which was culturally frowned upon in public), she cleaned his feet with her hair, watered by her tears - pure joy and emotion upon being with Jesus. Despite the fact that she was in the home of a Pharisee, surrounded by many, she "wore her heart on her sleeve" and willingly displayed her love. 

Simon didn't like it. 

Ironic, really, since (as Jesus pointed out) HE had omitted to extend the courtesy of washing Jesus feet himself, as custom dictated he should have! All his obsessions about washing, yet he hadn't done it when he ought to have.

It's so easy to hear about this incident and frown upon Simeon, and see ourselves as ever the one washing Jesus' feet.

"*I* would never have been the one that was neglectful - I would have done the right thing.  NO judgement from me, only love"

Really?

Seriously?

Oh, my sinful heart - I see myself, upon deeper reflection, as the Pharisee.

You see, it's all too easy to have spiritual OCD. To get caught up in the "hand cleaning" - rules, and rituals - in the "if you don't do it my our way, you must be wrong, because we MUST be right" attitude.  As much as Simon was ridiculous worrying about washing rituals, our judgements and legalism about the issues that we get bound up in, are equally secondary, so often.

Similarly to Simon, we tend to look at things in the light of tradition, and man made opinions, rather than carefully weighing things up beside God's Word. If the Bible clearly says something is sin, that's one thing.  If the scriptures are silent, we need to wisely make choices for ourselves, and graciously allow others to make their own choices.

Just as Simon caused a bad atmosphere, by his outburst, we do exactly the same if we start to argue, disagree, and judge, over the minutia of life.

It must be said, as much as the Internet can be a tool for blessing,  that it can equally become a breeding ground for spiritual OCD.  Pointing the finger at the differences of others, and criticising them for not following certain "rules",  instead of showing love.

Where's the love?

Look at the woman who washed Jesus' feet.

THAT'S where the love is.

Being so caught up with our love for the Lord, that all else fades away and is forgotten.  No legalism - no judging the hearts and motives of others - no bickering and complaining about the choices that are made differently from our own. Pure, perfect, love for the Saviour. Savouring His presence, and seeking His approval, over the approval of the world, and fellow believers.

The woman brought a costly box of oils, and anointed Jesus with it - she brought her best to Him. This box was one that had to be broken, in order to spill its contents.

Am I coming, BROKEN, to Jesus.  Opening up myself, to be filled up with His love, and His spirit. If I come, willing, to be broken, with that kind of love, I won't even be THINKING a legalistic thought.

Is that how I am?  Bringing my best to the Lord - the best of my attitudes and actions? Bringing the best, because I love the Lord more than I love the desire to talk other's down, and criticise and judge?

I pray the Lord would help me to be less of the spiritual OCD, and more love to Him, and those I meet in my life.

1.     More love to thee, O Christ, more love to thee! 
 Hear thou the prayer I make on bended knee. 
 This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to thee; 
 more love to thee, more love to thee! 

2. Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest; 
 now thee alone I seek, give what is best. 
 This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to thee; 
 more love to thee, more love to thee! 

3. Let sorrow do its work, come grief and pain; 
 sweet are thy messengers, sweet their refrain, 
 when they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to thee; 
 more love to thee, more love to thee! 

4. Then shall my latest breath whisper thy praise; 
 this be the parting cry my heart shall raise; 
 this still its prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to thee; 
 more love to thee, more love to thee! 

(Elizabeth Prentiss)

Marriage and love {learning from cookies!}

Today, I decided that it would be a special thing to get our bookwork done quickly, and do some fun things in the afternoon.

I decided that making cookies, and icing them, as well as making some button heart cards, would be perfect.

It's Valentine's day.  That day which has become one of commercialisation and women with high expectations of husbands. We don't "do" Valentine's Day, but it's always good to make love an important thing. It should, of course, be important EVERY day, but thinking about it particularly was good.

So, we made cookies.

I tell you what, it challenged me on many fronts, but that's another story.

The cookies came out the oven, and they were just not how I envisioned them. I did everything the recipe said, but some had spread, and looked not entirely like a heart. Some were overcooked in my "not quite right" oven. Then, I didn't make enough icing, so I had to tell the children to be more sparing than I would have liked. I did a demo for them, to show them how to do the outline, then the flooding. Mine was not even quite how I wanted it to be. I stood by, desperately wanting to decorate them myself, to make them look "nicer", but realised that I can't do everything all the time,  and my way is not always best! Then, of course, I can't even eat the cookies. Doing Whole30, I am not allowed any sugar.  The amount of times I went to lick my sugary finger, and had to stop myself!!

(a shield, a cross on a hill, a tiger?? and 3 hearts!)

However, they enjoyed the experience, and as much as there was nothing perfect about them, they appreciated them, ate them and loved them!  Seeing their pleasure was enough for me!

As I was clearing up the whirlwind-type mess resulting from our baking, I got thinking about how making my cookies was like a marriage. 

Marriage, and love, is not all about perfection.  It's not all about everything looking pretty and perfect.  It's not everything turning out how you expected, or about there never being any "messy" moments.

What it IS, is thinking about others before yourself.  About giving of time, effort and emotions for the benefit of another.  It is about putting in the right "ingredients", mixing them up the way you know you should, and when the results are not how you expected, still carrying on. Still putting in the effort to make it the way it should be. Persevering despite the imperfections. Persevering BECAUSE of the imperfections.  Still pouring in love and effort, when things don't look so "pretty".  It's about being unselfish.  Doing things purely for the benefit of another, not for your own.  It's about not giving up when things don't go well. It's about being willing to set aside doing things "your way", and having the humility to accept that your husband's way is right, because you want to please him, more than you want to get your own way. It's about accepting failings and loving what you have regardless, because it's worth it.  It's about finishing well.  

Today, and every day, I need to have a marriage like that.  I need to love selflessly.  I need to persevere through the moments that don't go quite how I expected.  I need to keep adding "beauty" to our marriage, by loving as God wants me to.  I need to give, and give, and give, not for my own gain or benefit. I need to keep on, until "death do us part".  I need to enjoy the pleasures of simply being in the marriage, not being bogged down by the negatives. Promoting the positives.

I love my husband. We don't have everything going perfectly all the time, but we DO love each other.  Deeply.  We are thankful for every blessing upon our marriage and our family.  We will keep, by God's grace alone, working at it every day.