Friday, 29 July 2011

Perfect peace

Promises - God's promises.  

They are so VERY precious. 

Many, MANY times we have come to them - 
over and over and over again, 
to receive strength, comfort, blessing.

Have you seen them, though?  

I mean, really LOOKED at them.  

How many of them are conditional?  

How many of them depend upon US doing something first?

"All things work together for good.....

...TO THEM THAT LOVE GOD."  Romans 8:28


....and the God of peace shall be with you."  Philippians 4:9

"how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things.....

....TO THEM THAT ASK HIM?"  Matthew 7:11

There are many more - I remember thinking countless times 

"I have something that I need to do here,
 before I can claim this promise."

Peace.  PEACE.  How much we desire peace in a clamouring, busy, non-stop world.  

Wives, seeking to be what we ought to be.  





Problems, trials, disappointments.

They all come our way, in a seemingly never-ending stream some days.

We have many moments when we feel like sinking into a crumpled heap on the floor. 

 A weeping wreck in the corner.  

Angry, shouting, frustrated, impatient.

But, it doesn't have to be like this.  There is a remedy.  

We have a promise - there to be claimed and possessed.  


we have to do our part.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace,

whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. 

 Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:"  
Isaiah 26:3&4

PEACE.  We can have PEACE - PERFECT peace - "peace, peace".

Oh, how we long for peace.  Not that peace that is lack of noise.  But stilness - stilness of heart - stilness of mind - stilness of soul.  That resting in God.  That place where nothing can cause us unrest.

We can have that peace.

Only if our minds are "stayed" upon the Lord.  Resting upon God.  Propped up by His greatness, goodness and strength.  

Our MINDS.  Our thoughts.  How we think.  What we think.  The way we think.  All must be centred upon HIM alone.  

Not focused on the trials - not focused on the difficulties - not focused on fear or failure - not focused on the weariness and worry.


TRUSTING.....the only one on whom we can depend upon for the strength that we need for every day. the only one who has EVERLASTING strength.  

....a strength that endures

....that we can draw upon daily for our EVERY need.

Precious believer.  That peace is yours.  Yours to claim.  Yours to experience.  Yours to enjoy.

Keep your mind upon Him.  Keep trusting in His grace and goodness.  And you, too, will have that perfect peace.

Raise up your request to Him, and He will answer....

"Be careful (full of care - emphasis mine) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
  Philippians 4:7

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Top Tips Tuesday - Storage

Today, I thought I would focus on storage.  I had been chatting to some FB friends (again!) about how to keep things tidy, and storage of toys in particular.  So, as promised, I will share what I do.

Now, I used to have a hard time keeping on top of tidying.  I used to say to Robert "but I don't have places to put things - if i had more storage it would be tidier!".  He didn't believe me....well, he didn't seem to believe me!

But, as it happens, not very often, of course, (especially between ladies and gents who happen to be married.....*whistles*) I was right....aherm....

I invested some time looking for decent storage boxes, and for places to keep them.  A lot of reshuffling and reorganising to find places to put them, resulting in a much more easily tidied house.  

Now, if someone could just get me a brand of small person who put the things back in the boxes quickly, and without complaint?....

Moving swiftly on.  

So, what do I use?  I primarily use "Really Useful Boxes".  I usually buy them here as they are one of the most competitive prices.  They are NOT cheap, but I have found, especially with storage boxes, you get what you pay for.  Cheap ones break VERY easily.  These ones are sturdy and have got great lids with a clip fastening.  I am NOT claiming they are unbreakable.  My children use them, and not always for their intended purpose.  You are not really meant to STAND on the handles to push yourself up to reach things that aren't meant to be reached by a small person.  Hmmmmm.

I have managed to get them in Tesco once or twice, for a very good price.  But, only one size.  they also stack brilliantly, as you will see shortly.

I have to acknowledge my good friends, the Brooks.  They introduced me to this addiction useful tool.  

I have these boxes in virtually EVERY room of my house.  They contain nearly everything imaginable.  They look so neat and tidy, and lovely, and wonderful, and beautiful, and did I mention neat and tidy?

And, no, I am not getting any commission from Really Useful Box manufacturers!  

So, where do I use them?....

 In the odds and ends cupboard - batteries, husband-related-odd-tool-thingys, candles for emergencys, medicines, odd socks.....

 For our math-u-see manipulatives (the counting blocks we use for maths.....)

 In my wardrobe, for out of season clothes and not-so-used shoes

under the girls bed for Playmobil and dressing up shoes (don't you wish you had small feet still?....)

in the girls cupboard for dolls house furniture and Sylvanian families bits and bobs

THIS is the motherload.....about 30 of these 50 litre babies stacked in the back of the garage (bit hard to get too close at the moment......) with all of the clothes currently not being worn by some small person in my home, ready for the next small person to wear them - ordered by age and gender.  Well, ordered sounds too organised - they are in boxes according to age and gender....quite different....

in my kitchen cupboards with my spices and condimenty things ( I KNOW that's not a word, ok?.....)

bird food, right by my weights...because I do a lot of weight lifting....really, I don't believe me?....nice.....(although, if you look closely, the lightest set is missing - I DO use those with my exercise DVD on occasion...the LIGHTEST one mind...)

So, now you know.... my name is Caroline and I am addicted to Really Useful Boxes.....(and I haven't taken pictures of them all.......!!)

I also have another storage unit that is VERY useful.  Courtesy of that wonderful storage giant.....yep, Ikea.

It's tall, so stores a lot in a small amount of floor space.  You can get different sized drawers, but we have a shallow one (one for each school day...) and 4 deep ones.

the shallow ones have games, puzzles, activities for the younger children.  I am also a BIG fan of taking puzzles and games out of their space-consuming boxes, and putting them in zip-lock bags.  I eagerly remove the contents from boxes, put them in the bags and tear up the boxes for the recycling, with great gusto!!   I then rotate which trays they have out each day, and periodically jumble around the contents as well.

The big ones food for the play kitchen, in the one lowest down, for the little children to access....

....then play cars in the next one up.....

....and Lego bricks in the 3rd from the bottom - Elijah can't reach into this to get anything out, but Joshua can take it out to play with.

So, there you have it - storage in my house.  We also have some crates from my father-in-law, that have no lid, and are collapsible, that the boys use for under the bed storage.  

I would really love to hear what methods you use for storage.  I haven't really covered organisation of the items that are IN the boxes.   Another post, perhaps?

PLEASE link up, or share your ideas in the comments below.  Also, if you are put off by thinking you need a google ID, you just post as anonymous, and then it will work! :-)

Also, find some GREAT storage ideas from these ladies who call themselves 4 moms.  

Follow the link to see their posts on storage.  They regularly get together on their blogs to share ideas - they have 35 children between them, and so have plenty parenting experience! Find more from them all here.

They are also going to be blogging through a book I recently purchased, during the month of August, called "Large Family Logistics", which is filled with great tips and ideas for ANYONE, large family, or not! I hope to be joining with them as they blog, and others share in the journey. Keep your eye out for it!

Anyway, link up and share your great tips!

Monday, 25 July 2011

A sobering example of the influence of women

I really am loving my Bible reading schedule.

I love the diversity of each day.

I love re-reading portions of scripture I have read before.

I love having my eyes opened to something I hadn't thought about before.

Particularly when it is so VERY challenging, and sobering....

Today is Genesis - chapters 16-19 to be precise.  Lots about Abraham.  The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.  All very sobering on its own.

That's not what struck me.  It's the womenfolk in the passages.


 Lot's daughters.


There's a positive challenge, and there's something to be avoided.  I'll get the bad stuff over first (a bit like a dinner with broad beans on the plate.....)

Genesis 16, verses 2, 4, 6, 8, 11 and 12

 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

 and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.

 Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face. 

And he said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, whence camest thou? and whither wilt thou go? And she said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai. 

  And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the LORD hath heard thy affliction. 
 And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren. 

The second passage is from Chapter 19, where Lot's daughters make their father drunk so they can lie with him and have children to maintain the family line.

(verses 27 & 38)  And the firstborn bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day. 
 And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day. 

Oh, the sorrow and problems caused by a woman who takes matters into her own hands, instead of entrusting her future to God!  Such sad events, all based upon foolish choices that these women made.

Abraham had been told that he would be the Father of many nations.  I would believe that he had shared that promise with Sarah.  I can't imagine him keeping that to himself.  But yet, Sarah decided to take matters into her own hands.  She was barren, so SHE thought it would be best to take matters into her own hands, and give her maid to her husband.  And then, what?  Hagar conceives, as was Sarah's plan, right? Sarah got a major case of the green-eyed monster! Oh, your great plan isn't so bright now, IS it Sarah?  

Abraham gives her permission to deal with her as she sees fit - and, so, of course she is gracious and  She dealt harshly with her. And then, she sent her away.

Thankfully, God is gracious and kind.  He preserved her life and sent her back to Sarah.  However, He also promised to bless the line of Ishmael.  And where has that got us now?.....the religion of Islam descends from Ishmael. Nothing further to add....

Oh, a wise wife.  Don't take matters into your hand that should be firmly in the domain of your husband.  THINK before you do.  Trust the Lord to fulfil His plan for your life, instead of resorting to humanly wisdom.  Make sure that every choice you make is centred upon God's Word, and not what you think is best.  It can have severe and far-reaching consequences otherwise.

The same goes for daughter 1 and daughter 2 of Lot.  This is far worse in many regards.  To have to make your father DRUNK, in order to do what they did, SHOULD have been a dead give-away that it wasn't the right thing to be doing.  Yet, once again, we see these women thinking that they know what's best.  And, the Ammonites and Moabites?  They caused problems for the Israelites over and over, and many of the countries who are still in conflict with Israel today descend from these people.  On the side of God being merciful and gracious, Ruth, of course, was a Moabite, and the Lord used her in the lineage from which David came, and of course, the Lord Jesus.  God can still make good come of bad choices, through His grace.  

Nonetheless, bad choices.  Man's wisdom and not God's wisdom.  No consulting their father first, and finding out what the head of the family had to say on the matter.  Not that they had a mother to consult, but that's a WHOLE other issue. 

Choices, ladies (and anyone else who may read my blog that doesn't come under that category!....).  We all have choices to make.  

We NEED to make good choices 


So much hinges upon the choices we make.  The whole spiritual, physical and emotional well-being of our household hangs upon the choices we make. 

Do we consult our husbands about what he wants us to do?  Have you agreed upon which choices are yours to make on a day-to-day basis, and what he needs to be consulted about?  Go you consult the BIBLE before making choices?  Do you choose to train your children in the things of Christ over and above anything else?  Do you make choices for your children instead of letting them "rule the roost"?  Do you wisely choose your children's education?  What about our leisure time, our food?

These are all important ways in which choices are so vital!

Choose wisely, dear ones.

And let's not forget the positive that I promised.  On the subject of submitting to our husband's choices.

Genesis 18:6  And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth.

Do we read a

"*sigh*, but ABRAHAM, I am right in the middle of something else here...are you seriously asking me to drop everything and start the long process of making you some CAKES?  I mean, who says I have to do what you say, anyway?  Didn't God create us equal.  My duties are just as important as whatever you want me to drop everything to do.  I mean, could you not even just wait 10 minutes whilst I just finish up here?....." ???

Nuff said. 

Sarah is referred to in I Peter 3 as a submissive wife who called her husband "Lord".  She submitted to him, with respect, and here the Lord gives her as an example to us.

May we treat our husbands as respected "lords" today. Lovingly submitting to them in every way.

Choices.   Challenges.  

Saturday, 23 July 2011

A fun-filled week!

We live in a rather sleepy little village.  We have one little shop, with a post  office.  That's all. Not much happens here.

On Tuesday morning, at about 7.45am, I was sitting in the lounge when Joshua said

"Look, Mum!  There's a hot air balloon!"

Sure enough, so there was....

Floating high up in the morning sky?


Now, I did mention we live in a village, right?  Not in a field.  Not even beside a field.

And the hot air balloon was descending....quite rapidly.

We do have a playing field at the end of the close, but I wasn't sure if it would make it!

We ran outside the front of the house to have a look.  (aherm, in our pajamas......)  Not just us, but a lot of the neighbours had spotted it too! (do we ALL spend our morning moments gazing out the window?!??)

The boys ran upstairs and woke the girls up to tell them (not the best way to be awoken in the morning, we found.....).  I told them we could go and see where it was landing.  The boys ran off IN THEIR PAJAMAS, and us ladies went to get dressed.  Not very quickly. (You can guess which daughter went on the dilly-dally side of things) Elijah got thrown on my back, in the carrier, and off we went.

You could tell we didn't get dressed quickly, because when we got to the field at the other side of the road, at the other side of the playing field, this is what we saw....

Yep, no balloon!  Deflated, and in the process of being folded up!

There was quite an assortment of people that had gone to have a look.  As I say - small sleepy village....not a lot happens.

Interesting start to the morning, no less!  Family jog.....

Then, the next afternoon, we went on a charity shop browse.  I don't do it often, with 6 children in tow - not my favourite past-time.

When we were coming out of one, we noticed there was a new wool shop open.  And, the children spotted a spinning wheel inside!

The lady kindly gave the children a demonstration, and answered their barrage of questions! It was a rather therapeutic experience, watching the wheel spin around,  and a task that was probably quite tricky, made to look quite easy!  She was spinning  a yarn made from camel hair, and something else which escapes my mind, but it wasn't sheep's wool.  I'm thinking rabbit or something else unusual.

She also dyes her yarns with natural colourings, and they are very beautiful, but rather expensive.  I had to tell Bethany that we COULDN'T buy them for her to use for finger knitting.....spoil sport of a mother, I am......

Thursday's excitement involved a trip to the Safari Park at Woburn.  Woburn is a large estate, belonging to the Duke of Bedord.  Here  is  a little more information about the estate.

I haven't been to the Safari Park for years.  So many years, that Joshua can't remember going, and he remembers ANYTHING animal related!  I was reliably informed by my sister that she took me when I just had Joshua as a baby, along with our friend and her daughter (do you remember, Joanne?......).  I may have been once since then - if you look at the prices you will see why we haven't been more!  This time, the visit was paid by Tesco - thank you very much!

We had a lovely day.  Elijah sat on my knee for the safari circuit - I didn't want him to miss out sitting away in the back in his car seat!

(whoops, bad double chin moment....just keep looking at the cute one!)

We saw lots of different animals - some closer than others.  Joshua was my designated photographer, owing to the fact that you can't drive AND take photos (ESPECIALLY with a 1 year already on your knee......*whistles*.....).  He did a good job, especially as they are all through glass (needless to say....with wild animals roaming around just the other side of the glass... and I mean JUST the other side, at the moment when we had a bear lying down on the road, so we couldn't pass...and he got up  - EVENTUALLY - and walked RIGHT PAST the window....eek.....had thought about bibbing the horn to get him to move, then decided that wasn't a good plan......moving swiftly

Asian elephant....

some kind of cow (what do you think, Anne....anything like the ones you have?......)

an american black bear (having

a lion....erm...the wild sort....

a giraffe, or two, or three or....actually, loads of giraffes!  all looking at us like WE were the ones to be observed!

a cheeky monkey....oh, sorry, Elijah standing up and looking at the others whilst I tried to drive.....

an ACTUAL monkey, of some variety, which climbed onto the top of a coach, and thankfully not OUR car (husband - paintwork - protect - all spring to mind)

zebra (that's with an *eh*, not an *ee* folks.....)

very gorgeous macaw (one of his buddy's was whistling "how much is that doggy in the window" in his cage....very clever!)

a wallaby....and no offence to anyone who loves these, but they looked like huge, hopping rats....*shudders*

There were many more creatures, but too many to include here, and also the ones we didn't get pictures of because BOTH my batteries (the one in it, and the spare) died....oops....

My favourites were the sea lions - amazing what they could do - the way the slipped in and out of the water, jumping (leaping?....gliding?....soaring???....not sure of the correct terminology?), virtually noiselessly.  All the tricks they could do - truly amazing.

My one concern?.... that my poor, home-schooled, socially inept children had so many questions and queries for the daft woman who merrily said after her bird of prey display... "Anyone with questions, just come and see me after the display".  Boy, she had no idea what she was letting herself in for when MY children came along! *grin*

Full week - but a lot of fun.  

Next week?....getting ready for Holiday Bible Club the first week in August - just over a week to go!  YAY! 

 "For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:"
Romans 1:20 

Friday, 22 July 2011

there's a lion outside....

We have been reading through the book or Proverbs in our family devotions, in the mornings.  There have been so many wise words, which Robert brings to life for the children, often with object lessons or relating to their lives in a practical way.

I want to share about one we read the other morning.  It just tickled me, and it will probably hit a note in all our hearts.  It's also a great one to tell the children and to teach them the lesson it contains.

We read....

"The slothful man saith,
There is a lion in the way;
 a lion is in the streets." 

Proverbs 26:13

I don't ever recall reading that verse before - I maybe did, but didn't think about it.

What a PATHETIC excuse!

Talk about procrastination and deceiving yourself.

Just picture it.  There's a lazy man, who can't be bothered to do the job he knows he should be doing.  Maybe he feels a bit tired.

 Maybe he has something he would rather be doing.  

Maybe he thinks that it isn't important.
Whatever the reason, he makes up this big deception in order to convince himself he doesn't need to do it!

There's a WHAT in the street....a lion, you say?  In the STREET?

Yeah, right......

We know you just don't want to go out there and get that job done that

 you know you  should be doing.

There's no lion.

And, of course, we would NEVER make excuses to ourselves about the jobs WE should be doing, isn't that right.......?

That dirty oven that will take SOOOOO long to clean that it wouldn't be "good use of your time".

Or, that cupboard that needs to be tidied up, but "never mind, no-one sees it anyway".

Perhaps, more a case of "I can't get up early to have my quiet times, because I need my sleep, I can't cope otherwise".

Whatever your "lion in the street" is, chase it away today.  Get doing what you know you should be doing, and ditch the lame excuses.

Go on.

Right now.

You chase away your lion.

(photo curtsey of Joshua Cordle, taken at Woburn Safari park yesterday!)

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Top Tips Tuesday - Marriage

I was thinking that it would be a good idea to share some wisdom with each other, about various topics.  Everything from favourite books to read with your children, to the best soup recipes that you have!  There are endless possibilities, and what could be better than sharing with others and being helpful!

I had no trouble deciding what today's should be to start it all off, when I read a truly excellent excerpt from the writings of Richard Baxter, the great Puritan preacher.    It is titled "Directives for Avoiding Dissension in the Home" - the subtitle which I would give, being - "How to live in harmony without arguing"!

I am going to be honest with you here.  On our honeymoon we argued.  Sorry, correction.  On our honeymoon *I* argued.  I couldn't tell you what it was about, but it happened.  I would unequivicably state that it was my fault entirely - largely due to the fact that I had issues with submission and humility.  (Can I quickly add....I still have my moments.....).  I would really like to deal with the topic of Biblical submission at some point, but not today, and not without a lot of thought and applying myself to the task with prayer. I have taken a long time to improve in this area, and I wish I had had more understanding of how to avoid it, in those early days.

As I know a dear, sweet friend who recently got married, I thought that sharing tips on how to have a successful, happy and BIBLICAL marriage, would be a great way to start my "Top Tips Tuesday".  What do YOU wish you knew in those early days.  What have YOU found to be vital in maintaining a God-glorifying marriage?

I really believe that there are many marriages that are secretly floundering and failing - and I am talking about CHRISTIAN marriages - simply because they have had no Biblical teaching about marriage from pastors, no sound advice from "older women" and SO sadly, no godly example from parents.  The world is full of books about marriage advice from a worldly philosophy, but what about a Biblical point of view?  People either don't know what it is, or don't understand it properly so dismiss it.

I would like to come back to the topic of marriage, but for today, here is my Top Tip - try to avoid disagreement and arguing.  The excerpt below gives some EXCELLENT advice about this, and we would all do well to put it into practice.  If you read it and find it doesn't apply to you, you are either deceiving yourself, or you have a prefect marriage......hmmmm.......what do you think?

Read it, and be challenged!

Directives for Avoiding Dissension in the Home by Richard Baxter

Richard Baxter
Richard Baxter
It is a great duty of husbands and wives to live in quietness and peace, and avoid all occasions of wrath and discord. Because this is a duty of so great importance, I shall first open to you the great necessity of it, and then give you more particular directions to perform it.
(1) Your discord will be your pain, and the vexation of our lives. Like a bile, or wound, or fracture in your own bodies, which will pain you till it is cured; you will hardly keep peace in your minds, when peace is broken so near you in your family. As you would take heed of hurting yourselves, and as you would hasten the cure when you are hurt; so should you take heed of any breach of peace, and quickly seek to heal it when it is broken.
(2) Dissension tends to cool your love; oft falling out doth tend to leave a habit of distaste and averseness on the mind. Wounding is separating; and to be tied together by any outward bonds, when your hearts are separated, is but to be tormented; and to have the insides of adversaries, while you have conjugal outsides. As the difference between my house and my prison is that I willingly and with delight dwell in the one, but am unwillingly confined to the other, such will be the difference between a quiet and an unquiet life, in your married state; it turneth your dwelling and delight into a prison, where you are chained to those calamities, which in a free condition you might overrun.
(3) Dissension between the husband and the wife, doth disorder all their family affairs; they are like oxen unequally yoked, that can rid no work for striving with one another. Nothing is well done because of the variance of those that should do it, or oversee it.
(4) It exceedingly unfitteth you for the worship of God; you are not fit to pray together, nor to confer together of heavenly things, nor to be helpers to each other’s souls: I need not tell you this, you feel it by experience. Wrath and bitterness will not allow you so much exercise of love and holy composedness of mind, as every one of those duties do require.
(5) Dissension disableth you to govern your families aright. Your children and servants will take example by you; or think they are at liberty to do what they list, when they find you taken up with such work between yourselves; and they will think you unfit to reprove them for their faults, when they see you guilty of such faults and folly of your own; nay, you will become the shame and secret derision of your family, and bring yourselves into contempt.
(6) Your dissensions will expose you to the malice of Satan, and give him advantage for manifold temptations. A house divided cannot stand; an army divided is easily conquered, and made a prey to the enemy. You cannot forsee what abundance of sin you put yourselves in danger of. By all this you may see what dissensions between husband and wife do tend to, and how they should be avoided.

For the avoiding of them observe these sub-directions:
(1) Keep up your conjugal love in a constant heat and vigor. Love will suppress wrath; you cannot have a bitter mind upon small provocations, against those that you dearly love; much less can you proceed to reviling words, or to averseness and estrangedness, or any abuse of one another. Or if a breach and wound be unhappily made, the balsamic quality of love will heal it. But when love once cooleth, small matters exasperate and breed distaste.
(2) Both husband and wife must mortify their pride and passion, which are the causes of impatiency; and must pray and labour for a humble, meek, and quiet spirit. A proud heart is troubled and provoked by every word or carriage that seemeth to tend to their undervaluing. A peevish, froward mind is like a sore and ulcerated member, that will be hurt if it be touched. He that must live near such a sore, diseased, impatient mind, must live even as the nurse doth with the child, that maketh it her business to rock it, and lull, and sing it quiet when it crieth; for to be angry with it, will do no good; and if you have married one of such a sick or childish temper, you must resolve to bear and use them accordingly. But no Christian should bear with such a malady in themselves; nor be patient with such impatiency of mind. Once get the victory over yourselves, and the cure of your own impatience, and you will easily keep peace with one another.
(3) Agree together beforehand, that when one is in the diseased, angry fit, the other shall silently and gently bear, till it be past and you are come to yourselves again. Be not angry both at once; when the fire is kindled, quench it with gentle words and carriage, and do not cast on oil or fuel, by answering provokingly and sharply, or by multiplying words, and by answering wrath with wrath.
(4) If you cannot quickly quench your passion, yet at least refrain your tongues; speak not reproachful or provoking words: talking it out hotly doth blow the fire, and increase the flame; be but silent, and you will the sooner return to your serenity and peace. Foul words tend to more displeasure. As Socrates said when his wife first railed at him, and next threw a vessel of foul water upon him, ‘I thought when I heard the thunder, there would come rain’; so you may portend worse following, when foul, unseeming words begin. If you cannot easily allay your wrath, you may hold your tongues, if you are truly willing.
(5) Let the sober party condescend to speak fair and to entreat the other. Say to your angry wife or husband, ‘You know this should not be betwixt us; love must allay it, and it must be repented of. God doth not approve it, and we shall not approve it when this heat is over. This frame of mind is contrary to a praying frame, and this language contrary to a praying language; we must pray together anon; let us do nothing contrary to prayer now: sweet water and bitter come not from one spring,’ etc. Some calm and condescending words of reason, may stop the torrent, and revive the reason which passion had overcome.
(6) Confess your fault to one another, when passion hath prevaileth against you; and ask forgiveness of each other, and join in prayer to God for pardon; and this will lay a greater engagement on you the next time to forbear: you will sure be ashamed to do that which you have so confessed and asked forgiveness for of God and man. If you will but practise these directions, your family peace may be preserved.

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