Simply trusting {facing difficulties, God's way...}

I had one of those moments the other day.

An "I spoke too soon" moment.

In past pregnancies, I suffered fairly significantly with SPD - "symphysis pubis dysfunction", or Pelvic Girdle Pain.  It is when you have pain caused by an instability in the pelvis, caused by hormonal changes in pregnancy. I had it get progressively worse throughout pregnancies, but had it much less with Elijah, and virutally nothing with Simeon's pregnancy.  I had got all the way to nearly 28 weeks, and said to Robert last week, and again the other morning, about how belssed I was to have had NO problems again this pregnancy.

On Sunday, I had a slight twinge on my left side, whilst holding Simeon on my left hip.  I prayed it would not get any worse, and tried not to hold him.

Then came Monday and Tuesday.  We went shopping in our main shopping centre, getting much needed clothing and shoes, and various other odds and ends.  I don't particularly ENJOY taking 7 children to the shops, let alone a whole day doing so. To top it tall off, my head-strong 1 year old decided he didn't like being in a pram all day, and started to get mega grumpy.  All the older children took turns carrying him, but he is no light-weight. I ended up carrying him, too.  Yes, on my left hip.  I was starting to get a few twinges with my pelvis, but nothing major.  I got home, after a long day, pretty exhausted.  To top it all off, I realised we had "lost" a bag, filled with about £50 worth of goods, from Lakeland. I was just so tired and frustrated, but realised I needed to just pray about the lost bag, and wait until the shops opened again the next day, to see if it was there. Praying for someone honest to have found it!

Yesterday, after phoning the shop, I was thankful and relieved to discover that my bag HAD been handed in there, and was waiting for me!  We spent the morning making a start on a LOT of sorting and tidying that needs to be done over these summer weeks, before going BACK to the shops in the afternoon.  Bag retrieved, we then went to Tesco (a large supermarket with lots of other household goods/clothes/all sorts) to get stationary for school. It was another long, tiring day.

We got back home, had an easy dinner, and I pottered around trying to finish off some tidying that we had not finished before dashing out to the shops after lunch. I swept the floor (Beth had been sorting out a box of craft materials, which included glitter.... I feel we may be seeing glitter around the house, for some time to come...), brought a box to the car, stooped to dead head some flowers, and BAM! I stood up to walk back into the house, and could barely walk!! The pain was awful, and every time I stood on my left foot, to take a step with my right, it was just unbearable.  I eventually got into the kitchen, and told the children I needed to sit down.  The tears were unpreventable, as the pain was simply so bad.

Thankfully, Robert came home very soon afterwards, and took over the post-dinner/end-of-day tidying and supervision.

I just knew I had to sit and rest.  That I had to accept that it had happened, and do what I could to rest it and hopefully recover.

Sit still.

For the second time this pregnancy, I was having to sit still.

My mind flew back to my morning devotions on Monday.  I had wanted to write a post about it, but my busy days had prevented me from doing so. Here I am now, with a very relevant personal application, writing it!

I read about the Israelites, as they fled Egypt.  They had just been so wonderfully released from their bondage, after many years of hard labour, and were on their way to freedom.  Suddenly, everything looked far less rosy.  The Egyptians were behind them, and the Red Sea was ahead of them.  They had nowhere to go, and there seemed no way out of the predicament.

Listen to what the Lord tells them.  I LOVE this.

"stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD...

The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."

Exodus 14:13-14

There are simply times when despite our desire to do all we can to escape a situation - to fight our way out of a difficult corner - to move forwards in our own strength - or when we simply feel defeated - the Lord says "stand still - I have this - everything will be fine".

That's where I am right now.  I've done too much, and if I am not careful I could end up crippling myself with pain for the rest of the pregnancy.  I need to stop my little home organisation spree, and reassess how I am going to do things. I desperately want to do things myself, in my own way, in my own time - but it's just not going to happen that way.

It's where I have been on countless occasions in the past.  Thinking there is no way out of a situation feeling defeated and worn.  Parenting can certainly bring you that place, often. 

Remember, these Israelites had just endured generations of struggle, and were fleeing Egypt, following a tremendously high tension situation - plague after plague happening around them. If that was not stressful enough, they now were blocked in.

Or so they thought.

How many times do we think that we are "blocked in"?  When we are faced with a situation where we think we are at the end of ourself, and there's no way out?  It happens.  Sometimes, it seems, all too often.

It's all about trust.  It's about hitting a trial, and trusting God can, and WILL, take care of it.  Standing still, and just "seeing", shows that we have no control over what will happen, and we are truly trusting God to be in control.  We need not "fight" - God will do it all for us.  We don't need to fear - we can have peace.  Why?  Because we are trusting Him to be in control.

We may not have quite the same amazing intervention that God provided for the Israelites.  NO fiery pillars, cloudy pillars, or seas literally opening before us. They may not be physically so amazing, but they can certainly be equally spectacular in our own little lives.  God can step in, in ways that take our breath away.  Or, it can be just in the simple things, in ways we never expected.

I don't know why, in the weeks when I had plans to be SOOOOO busy, that I am now going to need to take things VERY steadily.  I don't know God's plan, but I *DO* know that I need to just "sit still" and trust Him.

The Israelites were about to see a truly amazing scene, that would finally free them, once and for all, from Egypt.  Without lifting a FINGER. Without getting a foot wet.  They crossed that Red Sea.

Are you facing a difficult situation today?  Are you struggling with trials that you just can't seem to see a way out of?  Maybe it's time you stood still, and let God fight for you?  Maybe you need to simply trust Him to have the situation in HIS hands, and in HIS way.  Stop struggling and fearing, and trust, and He will show you HIS way forward.

Simply trusting every day,

Trusting through a stormy way;

Even when my faith is small,

Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting as the moments fly,

Trusting as the days go by;

Trusting Him whate’er befall,

Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Brightly does His Spirit shine

Into this poor heart of mine;

While He leads I cannot fall;

Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Singing if my way is clear,

Praying if the path be drear;

If in danger for Him call;

Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting Him while life shall last,

Trusting Him till earth be past;

Till within the jasper wall,

Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Glorifying God {rejoicing in affliction}

It wasn't my usual viewing and listening choice for my Saturday ironing.

I usually watch something light-hearted, or listen to some kind of audio book.

Not today.

Today, I watched a funeral.  A funeral for people I never met, and whose family I do not know.  Yet, the death of this couple touched my heart, and I wanted to watch the live-streaming of the service.

The couple was Chad and Courtney Phelps.  They were a young couple, only in their mid-twenties, with a little 2-year old son, Chase.  He was the Youth Pastor at Colonial Hills Baptist Church, in Indianapolis, Indiana. Both this young couple, and a mother-of-five, Tonya Weindorf, were tragically killed one week ago.  Their Church youth were returning from Church camp, when tragedy struck.  The coach they were travelling in had a mechanical problem, and it crashed, and all three died, including the unborn, baby girl that Courtney was carrying, but Chase, the son, was spared.

So, so sad.

Such a heartbreak to hear of such a thing.

Incredibly hard to understand.

It really struck me in a deep way.  My husband is a Pastor, I am pregnant, and I am a mother of many children as Tonya was. Things that are so near to my own heart and circumstances.

When I discovered that the service was streaming, just as I was ironing, I felt compelled to listen in.

It was heartbreaking.  I cried.  A lot.  My heart ached, right beside those brothers and sisters in the Lord, who had lost their family members.  Both families personally spoke of their love and thankfulness for the lives of Chad and Courtney.  Theirs was a testimony of a couple who were devoted to the Lord, and working for Him.  For helping others.  For caring and supporting those in need.

Yet, the Lord saw fit to take them, so young in life.

The words of the family members were heavy with emotion, but none so much as Chad's younger brother.

He witnessed the death of his brother and sister-in-law.  I cannot possibly imagine the horror of seeing such a thing.  However, it was his words - spoken through the sobs of a brother, broken with sorrow - that really spoke to my heart.

I know I have not got the wording perfect, but he said something almost exactly like this...


"God is most glorified when we are most satisfied with in Him"



 He was deeply, deeply saddened.  Heart-broken.  Yet, he was satisfied with the providence of God at such a time.  He was accepting of God's will, to take the lives of those he held dear.  By having that satisfaction in Christ, he was glorifying God the most.

In ALL our lives, we bring glory to God by being satisfied and content with what God chooses for us.  No matter what our circumstances - whether joyful or tragic - if we are satisfied with God, then we bring glory to His precious name.

I wept with those who wept, as he spoke those words.  They challenged my heart.  Do I bring glory to God, in ALL circumstances?  Do I show others that I am satisfied with Christ - that He alone is my all in all - when times of trouble and testing come?  I fear I do not.  I still am tempted to look to people and things for satisfaction, when God is all I need.  I need to rest and rely entirely upon Him alone, for my joy and satisfaction.

If he, through his heart-rending tears, could sob those words, how can I live out anything other than that in my own life of blessing and comfort?

I was challenged today.  Challenged to be satisfied with Christ alone.  Challenged to appreciate each day, no knowing if it could be my last.  Challenged to appreciate my loved ones, because I don't know if it could be THEIR last day.  Challenged to live my life as a living sacrifice, being willing and ready to say "for to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain".  Challenged to reach others with the gospel, whenever I can.

It was such an amazing blessing to hear of many who have come to saving faith in Christ, through hearing about the life and death of Chad and Courtney.  Amazing.  God is using their lives, through their DEATH, to bring people to a saving knowledge of Himself.  Only God can bring about such a work.

The gospel was brought so very clearly.

I was challenged to make sure that I do the same in my life.

Did you know we are all sinners?  Chad, Courtney and Tonya were sinners.  I am a sinner.  We are ALL sinners. We are sinners, who must be separated from God, because God is pure and holy, and sin cannot be where He is.  Sin must be punished.  It is the breaking of God's law, and as His word says, if we have erred in one, we have broken them all.  Sinners, deserving death and hell, and heading that was if we continue in our sin.

But, there's good news! The "gospel". God, in His love and mercy, not willing that any should perish, sent His only Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to die in the place of sinners. He bled and died, on the cross, to take the punishment for sin. It's not complicated. We can be saved from the eternal punishment for sin, so very simply.  We don't have to do good works, or live a perfect life, or go to Church.  We simply need to accept that we are sinners, believe that Christ dies for ours sins, and confess our sins to Him, asking Him to save us.  The, like Chad and Courtney, we need to live for Him. All out for Christ.

Maybe you are not saved, and can see your need for salvation.  Trust in Christ as your Saviour, and you can know that you will be with Him, in heaven, when you die - as Chad, Courtney and Tanya are today.  It's so simple, and yet so necessary.

Maybe you are saved, but your life is not fully given up to the Lord, and you are not serving Him and following after Him as you should? You need to have that same spirit as they had - willing to live, and willing to die, to the glory of Almighty God.  Giving over your life in complete surrender to His will, to do with as He pleases.

I go to bed tonight, appreciating those nearest and dearest to me, and wanting to hug them close and be thankful for every moment I have with them.

  

I will leave you with the song that was sung at the funeral today.  I had never heard it before, but the words are so precious.

I pray that my life, not my own, will be as theirs was - to the praise and glory of Christ alone. 

Pray for their families, especially in the days ahead, as they live with their loss, and seek to bring up both Chase, without his parents, and those 5 children, and Mr Weindorf, without Tonya. 

His robes for mine: O wonderful exchange!

Clothed in my sin, Christ suffered ‘neath God’s rage.
Draped in His righteousness, I’m justified.
In Christ I live, for in my place He died.

Chorus:
I cling to Christ, and marvel at the cost:
Jesus forsaken, God estranged from God.
Bought by such love, my life is not my own.
My praise-my all-shall be for Christ alone.

His robes for mine: what cause have I for dread?
God’s daunting Law Christ mastered in my stead.
Faultless I stand with righteous works not mine,
Saved by my Lord’s vicarious death and life.

His robes for mine: God’s justice is appeased.
Jesus is crushed, and thus the Father’s pleased.
Christ drank God’s wrath on sin, then cried “‘Tis done!”
Sin’s wage is paid; propitiation won.

His robes for mine: such anguish none can know.
Christ, God’s beloved, condemned as though His foe.
He, as though I, accursed and left alone;
I, as though He, embraced and welcomed home!

Busy, busy, busy {and a home-ed freebie find!}

I just wanted to check in, to let you know I am still alive and well!  Just very busy!

This is the week we have our Holiday Bible Club at our Church.  It's crazy for the days leading up, and crazy busy the week it is on. But, such a worthwhile thing to do.  Reaching boys and girls with the news of salvation!   We had 21 Yesterday, and 29 today, so we are rejoicing in that. Praying for even more children tomorrow (and I have ordered extra craft supplies in the hope that we do!)

Please pray that the Lord would bless this week, and we would see souls saved.

I just wanted to also quickly share something with you.  With Tapestry of Grace, we sometimes have classic stories which the older ones read.  I like the younger ones to share these stories, but at their own level, so I have bought Penguin Young Classics in the past. They are also included as literature books, officially, on the way through TOG.

I had picked up one, last Christmas, of A Christmas Carol, to work on in the last week of school before Christmas.  I had googled free worksheets, and found a random page to accompany the Penguin Young Classic book. It had various types of questions to accompany the book, chapter by chapter. It was a great find, and I intended to find out exactly where this PDF had come from, but had forgotten.
Scroll forward to last weekend.  A fellow TOGster  (what we fondly call other TOG Mums! - a TOG-Sister!) had asked about literature suggestions for a reluctant reader.  I had suggested subbing in some of the classic books, with Penguin Young Classics, instead.  It then got me looking for the list, which brought me to the website, upon which I stumbled across the source of all the *FREE* wonderful worksheets and teacher idea sheets to go alongside each book!!!

FIND!!!

All you have to do is go to this page, click on "Teacher's Area", and it will ask you to register with the website.  Once you have registered, go back through that area again.  You will find a box on the left which says "Go to Penguin Readers".  Click on that, and it will bring you to a page with an orange bar down the left side, with various headings.  Click on "Downloads Area".  That will bring you the page, with the 6 levels of readers.  Click on the level you want, and it will list ALL the books available for that reading stage, and then "Teacher's Notes", "Activity Worksheets" and "Answer keys".  I was very excited about this find, as you can turn simple literature assignments into a deeper learning experience, ALL FOR FREE!!! The teachers notes give great ideas for discussion and related activities.  The Activity worksheets give you all sorts of different comprehension and deeper study questions.

Considering it is all free, I think it's a great place to find ideas to expand the experience - instead of simply reading a story, they can think about what they have learnt as well.

Having now just looked a bit deeper, whilst typing up this post, I found something ELSE!!! With that log in that you have done for the above, you can also access resources for their new range of graded reading books! They are called "Penguin Kids - Graded Readers".  Most of them are adaptations of Disney animations, with a few factual ones as well. Go HERE, log in with the same details that you registered above, and you will see a link, in a green picture box on the right, to "Teacher's Notes and Audio".  You can then find lots of great, fun ideas to expand the themes in these books, and worksheets to go alongside!! Also, the audio version of each of the books - so they can become a "read-along"!!  Again, it turns a simple reading book, into a whole literature lesson! If you don't like Disney stories, this will not float your boat.  If you do, you will be thrilled!  It would be especially great for young readers.

I would definitely say that this is my Home-ed find of the week!!!

All you need to do now is look at the lists of books available, choose one (or, maybe more....!!) and get started! You may even be able to pick them up in your local library, but if not, they are not very expensive on Amazon.

Ok.  That's all folks.  I am alive.  I am tired.  I am sharing!!!

Have fun, and I hope to get another post up later in the week.

The Patient Gardener (growth takes time)

This summer I am finally getting to see some growth in my garden.  The smaller plants that I put in last year are now filling out the borders.  Once they begin to flower, it will look fuller and more mature. There's still room for growth - for change - for adjustments.  It's takes TIME, though.  Knowing what works best in certain places is not an instant thing.  You need to watch the plants in the place you have put them, and sometimes they need to be moved.

I have bought some new shrubs for another border, that my lovely husband has cleared for me (in my opinion, if a plant has not got a)flowers, b)interesting foliage or c) pretty branches when the leaves fall off in winter, it's not worth being in my garden.....so, plants WENT!!)  I have bought a ceanothus, a philadelphus and a lilac. The philadelphus (mock orange blossom) holds distinct memories of my childhood - the heady scent of that plant brings me right back to my early years, when my Mum had one and the neighbours down the road had a HUGE one on the corner of their garden, right where we walked past! The thing is, what I would REALLY love is to have a fully grown plant of each of those, instantly appear in my garden.  I think it's possible to get much larger plants than the ones I bought, but for a MUCH larger price. So, I have to wait - wait for the plants to grow into something that is more mature and sturdy.

I don't know what your personality is like, but I have a bit of a struggle with patience.  Ok, so more than a bit.  It has taken me time (and I am STILL learning) to have patience in  life.  I'm talking about patience with others, here.  I especially struggle with others who don't "get" what I am trying to explain to them, or they just don't understand or grasp something that I find quite simple.

I tried to teach my children how to play the piano, a couple of years ago, but we kind of gave up because I struggled to have patience with them when they didn't "get it" as quickly as I thought they should.

It's a battle in my life, and I wish that I could just fix it in an instant.

How about those traits in the lives of our husband and children?  Those faults that we see, those sins that they struggle with, the character that we are trying to grow up in the children?  The "annoying" personality traits in our spouse?  Things that can irritate, or simply things that are sinful that we wish we could just remove in an instant?  Our children displaying attitudes and behaviour that are far from perfect. We pray, hope and try to encourage growth and change.

What about our OWN lives?  We see failings in others, but we are far from perfection ourselves!! I inwardly despair at times, at my own lack of spirituality - at my stumbling time and again.  The same struggles and battles seem to remain.

We want all these things to instantly mature. Like my garden, we want to see them full height straight away.  But our spiritual life is no different to my garden. It doesn't happen straight away.  In fact, we are told in the scriptures that sanctification is NOT instant.  It takes time.  It takes the Holy Spirit working daily in our lives - a continual growth  - in order for us to become more like the Lord and reach more maturity in a spiritual sense.

Just like my garden, the way to growth is time, water and food. I need patience.  I need to make sure the plants are nourished and watered in whilst they establish and grow.  So it is with those around us - and for growth in our OWN life.  We have to run with PATIENCE the race that is set before us. We need to patiently work at growing more like the Lord.  Feeding on God's Word, being watered with prayer and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  Waiting for our character to become more Christ-like, and to mature and grow.

Is there some area in our husband or children's life, that we have been praying for change in?  Change takes TIME.  We need patience, and allow the Lord to work in their lives, as it takes time in our own.  Children, especially, require our patience.  They take time to grow, develop and mature in their lives.

There's really no such thing as an instant garden.  Similarly, there is no such thing as instant and complete sanctification! Be patient whilst your "garden" grows around you.  With time, you will find plants growing, flourishing and looking healthy, strong and truly beautiful.  Just be patient!

"But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."

II Peter 3:18

Chatting with Patrice {on the Farmhouse Porch}

Well, a good day to you Patrice!  We still have our hot weather, here in the UK.  We also had a night of ALMIGHTY thunder-storms, which kept me awake and then had me sweltering in the humidity. But, the rain made caring for the garden a bit easier the next day! *grin*

So, chatting with you today, as we finish up our shcool for the summer, and get started on summer sorting, planning and organising, ready for September to roll around.... oh, and ready for a new addition to our family. 

There won't be as much publicity about the ariival of OUR baby, as there has been for HRH George Alexander Louis Mountbatten-Windsor, but our baby will be loved deeply and dearly, nonetheless. 

So, onto our chat!

1. Do you use any type of water filter (pitcher or sink mount) 

We have a lovely, big, Brita filter "tank", that belongs in the fridge.  I am a stickler for only really enjoying water if it is COLD.  

At the moment, however, we are having fridge issues.

What issue?

The fridge is not big enough for our family's needs.  So, the filter tank had to come out. 

Sad days.

It sits, looking sad and unloved, on top of my fridge.  Waiting.  Just WAITING, for me to buy a bigger fridge, so it can go back where it belongs!

In the meantime, it's ice cubes all the way.  It's the only way to get a REALLY lovely, cold drink of water in this weather. 

2. Do you have any tips for staying hydrated in the warmer weather?

Drink lots.

Sorry, is there any other answer??....

3.  Is your hair naturally curly or straight?

Now, this is an interesting question. 

My hair USED to be quite straight.  In fact, almost completely straight, with a little bit of a kink on the way down, which was just annoying.  

Hair straighteners were not even thought of.

Then, I had lots of children.  Or, was it that I just got older?   Who knows?  One of the two, has meant my hair has got wavyier and fuller as time goes by. Now, if I leave it to dry naturally (is there any other way??  Hairdryer, you say?  Phshaw.... I have no time for such things...), without even combing it until it's dry (don't worry, it doesn't look horrendous during that time...not that I ever look at myself in the mirror to check...), then it gets really wavy and full these days!!   I wouldn't quite say it was CURLY, but it is certainly not straight!!

4. Are you on top of all the chores/work you do, or are you always running behind?

*Coughs, splutters, and nearly chokes on the drink she is not actually drinking, but if she was, she would be choking...*

On top?   Does that mean like on the summit?  Looking down below at what lies beneath?  

I am RIGHT on top of decluttering - yup, there is a huge pile of clutter to sort, and I am RIGHT on top of it, looking in despair at what needs to be sorted. Sitting, forlornly, looking down on it all. 

I have just about conquered mount laundry... for today.  That is until tomorrow, when we make more clothes dirty, and it all starts again.

To give a serious answer, there are some things that I have got more on top of lately, and plan to blog about in the very near future. Then there are other things (like that clutter) that seem to be a constant struggle. 

So, a bit of both?

5.  If you could sing a song to Wendell, what would it be?

Hmmmmm.

It would have to be a firm favourite of my children.  The regularly ask for it, and enjoy the excitement it brings....

Is this just a British thing - sitting your children on your knee and singing this song, bouncing them up and down?  Then putting them REALLY high on the "giddy up" part?  They especially love it if we also drop them down at the end!

Well, it's been lovely to chat, as ever. Hope you have a wonderful week, and I hope to chat again soon!

Family resemblance {who do our children look like, REALLY?}

The world is in waiting.

Well, OK, maybe not the whole world.  Certainly, a lot of people, and especially mothers who know what being through labour is like.

Waiting for the Duchess of Cambridge to have her baby.

We had the official announcement this morning, from Buckingham Palace, that she was, indeed, in the early stages of labour, and at hospital.  It's a first baby, and so like many other first time deliveries, it is unlikely to be swift.

It won't be long, in once sense, before the world will get to see the long-awaited "Royal Baby".  How quickly will there be the comments along the lines of "Isn't he/she like her mother/father?" We always like to be able to catch a glimpse of a particular parent in a child.

I don't know about others, but in our family we often get remarks about how much our children look like a parent.  More often than not, they see them looking like Daddy, and his side of the family.  Sometimes, they will see them looking like me, or as I looked when I was a child.  Sometimes they look like cousins, or how an aunt or uncle looked when they were wee.

This first picture is of Robert (on the right) and his brother, Edward, and his sister, Anna.  I can certainly see some family likeness here, especially with Anna, more than with Robert! I can Simeon in Anna!

My sister dug out some of our old photos recently, and I can see family resemblances quite clearly.

This Angela, David, Stephen and I. (from L-R)

(Angela, Stephen and I, from  L-R)

I can especially see Elijah looking like Stephen, in the photo above.

For those who know my children well enough, you can make up your own mind!  One thing is for sure, when my children looked at them today, they all knew who their Auntie Angela was!

But, thinking about family resemblances, got me thinking about something else.

We all want to think our children look like us - you long to see little traits that are like yourself, reflected in your children.  Eye colour, smile, dimples....

But what about how they BEHAVE?  Is there a family resemblance in CHARACTER?  Certainly, there are little things that we can chuckle about.  The same way the boys can't find things, just like their Daddy. The same way the girls "talk" with their hands, just like their Mummy.  What makes them smile and laugh. When you notice that Simeon says "hiya" and he says it because that's what I say every time I get him out of his cot. The little things that wind them up.  They just seem to somehow be "inherited" sometimes - like it's a built in character trait.

Then, there are the resemblances that make us laugh in an awkward kind of way.

When we notice them getting frustrated about things - and see that it's the the same things WE get frustrated about.

When we hear them use the same expression of annoyance with their siblings, that WE use with them.

When we hear them shout at each other over things that really don't matter, just like WE do.....

Seeing BAD things in our children, that resemble our own sinful and weak behaviour.  Not so good. No smiles about that.  Only a sad despair, that we are not passing on the right "traits" to our children.

It's so challenging.

So convicting.

So awful.

To see or hear them mirroring our behaviour.  The not-so-good behaviour.

There is good news, though.  They are still young.  With God's grace, those negative traits can be turned into positive.

It takes effort.  It takes diligence.  It takes time.  It takes us to be patient with them, and to persevere in the training that is required to guide them in right ways.

It's not just effort with our children.  It's effort in our own hearts and lives.  If our children are reflecting negative traits from us, then *WE* need to work to hammer out those imperfections in our OWN behaviour, so they are not reflected in our children's. We need to daily seek to stamp out the "old man", and seek God's help to nurture what is good and right. Firstly in ourselves, and then in the lives of our children.

Remember, God is gracious with us in our failings.  If we come repentantly, seeking His forgiveness and mercy, He is gracious.  Remember that we need to show that same grace toward our children, as they grow and learn as well.

This week, I will endeavour to make sure that the family resemblances that I see in my children, are reflected from the image of Christ that is seen in me, and not in the sinful character that I need to stamp out, by God's grace.

"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth."

1John 3:18  

Perspective {how motherhood changes your outlook}

{warning - this post contains details about bodily functions...wooses, walk away *winks*}

Can you remember life before children?

I can barely remember such a thing. I have now been a mother for around a third of my life.

Marriage brings the first changes of adult life.  You go from "me" to "us".  Instead of thinking about only yourself, you are thinking alongside a partner, as one, new unit.

Then comes the children.

You go from "us" to "everyone".  You lose the ability to think more than one straight thought in a line.  In fact, you do well to think one straight thought AT ALL.  With children, who jump from one thing to another, it's hard to remember where you are and what you were actually DOING, before they made an enquiry.

That aside, (see, I can't even think straight in anything - motherhood, plus pregnancy, kind of has that effect....) I was also contemplating about what makes me excited in life.

Before marriage, I was excited about trips out with friends, or holidays.

After marriage, I was excited about days off work with Robert, meals out, easily planned and implemented trips to visit family, and quiet evenings playing board games and impromptu suppers with friends.

I realised how much life had changed, for the umpteenth time, this morning.

You see, I am attempting to toilet train Elijah.... AGAIN.  I tried, with no success whatsoever, last year.  Now that I am a) allowed to lift heavy things again (ie, ELijah), b) not feeling nauseous any more, c) experiencing warm weather with more outside play time, and d) aware of my increasingly large middle, and impending struggle to walk, never mind think about toilet-training, I decided that it was time to try again.  Plus, this whole "another-child-crawling-around-getting-in-the-way-whilst-trying-to-change-his-brother's-dirty-nappy" thing, was not amusing me much.

So, the forecast said "more good weather", my diary said "not going out this week", and I said "let's give it a whirl".

Monday dawned.  Conveniently, Elijah obliged with a dirty nappy, before we got as far as pants.  (Readers from the USA - from now on, read "pants" as an underwear item, ok??) *Phew*.  One less pair of dirty pants to clean THAT day.  Initially, how shall I say this?.... he was NOT keen to put on pants. (read "screamed, yelled, and made a huge fuss about it, despite them having Lightning McQueen on them"....)  Having "got over" that problem (read, "with application....") he was then keen to be a "big boy".  He squeezed very hard, and a reasonable dribble came out, on first attempt.  We went out in the afternoon, and he didn't want to take pants off, so we put a nappy over the top.  He even slept on the way home.  He was DRY when we returned.  However, he then (conveniently) did a wee outside when we got home.  Very little in the toilet all day - several accidents - but a very keen little boy, who kept coming voluntarily to TRY and do something.  Not MANY accidents, really.  I have concluded his bladder holds its contents quite well! (Or, I am not having him drink enough, or both...)

Day 2, something similar.  Day 3, same again.  Very little done in the toilet.  2 poo accidents a day.  (At least THAT is a blessing.... twice a day, I can cope with.)

Wednesday night, I was talking to Robert.  I was wondering if Elijah had an issue with knowing how to make his brain understand how to allow the wee to pass. Like he couldn't make the connection as to what to do.  I asked some friends for prayer on the issue, as I want to be a wise Mum, to know how to help and encourage him, in this vital, but hateful task.  (I really do NOT enjoy this part of child-training).

Imagine my surprise, then, this morning.  Elijah finished breakfast, and asked to go to the toilet.  His nappy was DRY!!! He had stayed dry ALL NIGHT!! Now, this alone was exciting, as my boys have not got a good track history of night-time dryness. I praised him, and told him he was a good boy.  He sat for a moment, but told me he couldn't do a wee.  I went off to put some things in the bin, and put him back on the toilet (because, of course, he had followed me, half-naked, whilst I went to the bin...).  I told him to try again.  And, would you believe it?.... he did a massive wee in the toilet!!!! I was SO excited!!! I jumped up and down, screaming in a rather high-pitched voice"you CLEVER boy", , whilst clapping !!! Yes, I looked slightly insane.  But, I was excited!!! I had only just asked for prayer, HOURS before, and here I was having it answered!  He got FIVE little sweets for his achievement, and he was SO chuffed.

I came away chuckling.  How excited can one mother get about a child WEEING, in the toilet?!?? Pretty excited, I tell you.  It made me chuckle, because to so many, it would mean NOTHING.  Why get so excited about urinary output?  It was so much more than that, though.  It was an answer to prayer.  It was a little boy mastering something.  It was me not having to clean up a mess.  SO many things.

OK, so based on the rest of my day, MASTERING, may be slightly extreme.  Doing something ONCE, may be more accurate.  Do it, he did, though! The small step forward - the positivity - my excitement over something quite weird - has kept me feeling positive for the rest of the day.

It made me think that I need to look more to the positives in life, instead of dwelling on the not-so-good stuff.  You know, the kind of stuff that happens all day, as a mother?  Bickering children.  Hurts and accidents.  Children not doing as they are told.  Disasters of all grades and descriptions.  If I can use a positive toilet-training experience to keep me joyful, I must surely be able to find something good in EVERY day??

The Lord tells us, "in everything give thanks". There is something to be thankful for, no matter the situation you are in.  Sometimes I can find it quite easily - like Elijah's major achievement.  Other days, I *MAY* have to look a bit harder.  But, the lesson I have learnt, is that it is up to me to make my day positive, by having the right attitude.  A stick-in-the-mud, who is very matter of fact about things, may not have allowed themselves to be propelled through the day, with joy, by something so mundane.  I CHOSE to have the right attitude.  Many days, sadly, I don't.  I don't stop for long enough to find those "joy in the mundane" moments, and so my day is shaped accordingly.  I get more easily frazzled, and I don't have the same positive outlook.

So, I carry on with the toilet training. I have Elijah's enthusiasm, and the joy of the Lord as my strength.   It may not work out as fast as I would like, as mess-free as I would like, or the way I would like, but we will get there in the end.

No matter how much life has changed from how it used to be, I can still choose to have the right attitude, and make my days run along smoother.