Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Praise where praise is due {saying "thank-you" to your husband}

There seems to be a concerning trend, in today's world, of being openly critical of one's husband.  People seem to think it's all ok to groan, complain, grumble and downright speak BADLY of their husband.

I don't like it ONE BIT.

I'm talking about in a very open, public way.  I know some ladies who have shared struggles and difficulties, but not in a disrespectful or nasty way.

Others, however, are not so wise and restrained.

It's not how we should be about ANYONE, let alone the husband that we have been blessed with.  Such negativity is detrimental on so many levels.  It shows a  lack of respect.  It shows a lack of self-control of the tongue.  It shows a lack of honour.  It shows a lack of thankfulness and gratitude.

On the internet, it is referred to as "husband-bashing".  I think that paints a rather accurate picture.

It goes totally against the instruction in Ephesians.

"and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
Ephesians 5:33

It is not showing that we revere and respect our husbands, if we are openly critical of them.

In a day and age like this, I think there is a simple antidote.

Praise and thankfulness.

When last did you express your appreciation for your husband.  I'm not just talking about THINKING it. I'm referring to TELLING it.

Telling your children.

Telling your family.

Telling your friends.


It can be so incredibly easy to be nit-picky and negative.  To find what's WRONG, instead of being thankful for what's RIGHT.  It can happen with our children, and with other people, too - but, it's really not nice to hear women being negative about their husband.

So, how do you combat such negativity?  Decide to start being thankful and giving praise where it is due.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
Ephesians 4:29

Edifying means to "build up", or encourage, and the grace, spoken of here, refers to gratitude.  Our words should be used to encourage and show gratitude!

I think most husbands like to hear that you appreciate them.  To know that you see, and are thankful for, the things that they do.

My lovely man has been VERY busy around here lately. He has been busy with Church things, as always, but he has been doing a lot in the home. He cleared a border in the garden.  He laid some paving slabs, ready to put a shed in the garden. He built a shed.  Not a diddy one, quite a reasonable sized one.  Before that, he treated the fence that would get blocked in by the shed, and the all the parts of the shed before he built it. It took him a lot of time and effort to do it.  The shed - was it for him to have a place of retreat and escape?  No.  It was for the children to have their bikes brought back to the house, after being away at the Church shed since before we moved house - they have not had them for pushing on 2 years. Now the shed is built, the bikes are back.  They have needed quite a lot TLC, to get them back in use.  Robert has then spent a lot of time repairing them - doing things that I would have NO idea how to do - to get them in a usable state.  He has made some VERY happy children, and another will be happy today.

It would be so easy to take all his efforts for granted.  To just watch all he is doing, without acknowledging the hard work he has put into it.  That would show an incredible lack of appreciation on MY part. Instead, I have been letting him know that I think that he is simply great! I express my thanks, for the skills and gifts that God has given him, which allow him to be so "handy" around our home.

Which one of us does not appreciated being thanked for what we do?I know Robert doesn't DO it FOR the thanks, but I am sure it encourages him, nonetheless.

I think it's also important to be an example to our children.  If we constantly receive from others, and accept their efforts and the good that they do, all without showing thankfulness, then it's not setting a very good example.  It's never good to take the gifts and kindness of another for granted.  It's certainly not how we should want to raise our children.  They should hear us express our thankfulness to GOD, first and foremost, but also to each other.

There are several outcomes from having a spirit of thankfulness and encouragement.  First of all, you will encourage a general spirit of love and kindness in your home.  If our words are filled with positives, our home will be filled with the same spirit.  Secondly,  you will help to motivate them in what they are already doing.  So, if it's a practical thing, just a few words of encouragement from you may help them to finish get the job done, because you have helped their heart! Thirdly, you will encourage your husband to carry on with what they are doing.  The more you encourage whatever good you see in them, the more likely they are to carry on with the same good. Maybe there are only glimmers of things that you feel you can give encouragement in?  The little words of praise you bring, will help that good to grow, and overflow into other areas. Fourthly, and really importantly, you are showing a spirit of Christ in your home, and encouraging a loving and generous spirit.  Generosity and giving is not simply about physical giving - the giving of THINGS. It's about giving in other ways, too - and that includes our words and our attitudes.

"provoke unto love and to good works:"
Hebrews 10:24

The key to it all, of course, is our own hearts, above all else.  Do you see what we read in Matthew?

"for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.  A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things:"
Matthew 12:34&35

It's what is in our HEARTS, that comes out of our MOUTHS.  If we do not have a heart that is LOOKING for the good -  FINDING the blessings - GRATEFUL for the good - then, it's not going to come out of our mouths.  If we are busily festering thoughts of ungratefulness, or bitterness, or negativity, then we are not going to express thankfulness and love.  If our hearts are grateful for the husband that God has given us, then we will want to first of all thank GOD for our husband, but also let our husband know about our thankfulness, too. 

We try and teach our children to say "thank-you", when someone gives them something - it should be no less ready to escape from our lips, when our husband blesses us with his time, effort, abilities and kindness. 

I pray that our hearts, and our words, will be filled gratitude today, as we express appreciation to our husbands.  (And don't forget that it applies to our children, family and everyone else, as well!....)


  1. Amen! Very good post, Caroline! and I should say, Thank you! (in earnest, mind you...not certain how that can come thru in a comment!)

  2. and imagine how we would feel if ours did the same?!