Tuesday, 28 January 2014

For those who think I have it all together {I so haven't}

I had such a lovely couple of days. A restful Lord's Day...

Hang on.

Let me just stop there.

I forgot.  Things DIDN'T all go smoothly the last few days.  So, I thought I would share with you, just so those people, who think I seem to be a super-woman who has more time on her hands than the rest of the world, and who never has bad days, to see life ain't like that.

Sunday morning, the children slept in. Breakfast was late. Clear up was late. They didn't get ready soon enough, and we flew into Church during the opening hymn. LATE.

I hate late.

Then, Simeon had all the peas tipped over the floor, frozen peas, before I had the chance to put them away.

Just when I was trying to get the dinner out - mess.

Then, the missed ones got squashed on the floor.

Then, in the afternoon, I had the perfect opportunity for peace and quiet. Only the youngest 4 were at home with me, the rest at the nursing home service. Abi was lying on the floor, and Simeon was randomly throwing toy animals over his shoulder. Next thing, Abi was hit in the nose by a lion (one of the biggest, chunkiest animals we have...). If only it was as simple as a bumped nose.... oohhhhhh no. It was a nose bleed. First ever I have had to deal with, as a "proper" nose bleed. Ten minutes, and lots of tissues later, it stopped.  Only to repeated when they were going to bed, and Susie bumped into her nose. I will spare you the manky details of it all. Suffice to say, I gagged at one point.

Monday.  My birthday.

I have told you about how blessed my day was.

I missed out the "keeping it real" part.

When I got angry at the children for leaving a mess after breakfast, which I came down to. How they didn't help each other nicely at lunch time, which made me cross, again. How I flipped at a child for feeding Tabitha CHOCOLATE. (Yes, still not best pleased about that...) How I got upset with people for not being enthusiastic about my dinner choices. How Tabitha then spent most of dinner time unhappy, which was not very relaxing.

Today, we had more "Moments".  Children not being ready for school starting, and still in pyjamas when they knew to get dressed. Me getting cross with a toddler who will NOT let me get anything done alone, and who I need to keep on my knee whilst juggling teaching a 5 year old phonics, and a 6 year old English.  My patience was VERY thin about that. Then, children who allowed the smallest children to get hold of polystyrene (an older child was irresponsible) and it got EV-ERY-WHERE. Did you know it could stick to walls? *I* had to vacuum it up, as the vacuum has a hole in the pipe, and only an adult can hold the hole shut whilst still using the hose. What a job.

Now, it's bedtime. They are NEARLY all asleep. I can still hear the toddler, who has taken it upon himself to NOT go to sleep at night, and keep getting out of his cot. In the near future, a bed awaits him. 

I am tired.

VERY tired.

I am VERY thankful that God created children to need more sleep than adults, because it means I will now have the evening in peace.

I have an evening in peace because I don't have any meetings to go to. I don't even get to the prayer meeting, as we don't bring the children to the prayer meeting, and being the Pastor's wife, it means I don't go either. I get to sit down because I have 8 children, at least 50% of which help me do little jobs through the day, that many other Mums need to then get done AFTER the children go to bed. I have the joy of them being done already. 

My life is no bed of roses. I could tell you more, but I don't want to criticise my family.  I have  my fair share of stressy moments, and some of them are set to continue for the foreseeable future. Some I have been through before.  Some are new to me. ALL I know will pass. 

Maybe my life seems easier than yours.  Maybe you wonder how I get to have time to sit down at all, when you line my life up to yours. 

The thing is, we all have a different set of circumstances. We all have different highs and lows. We all have different husbands with different expectations. We all have different expectations of our children, of ourselves. We all have different commitments.  

We need to make sure we are doing our best in the situation that God has called us to.  To try not to compare our life to others.

We need to remember that bad days happen, and they will likely recur.  

We need to remember that God's grace is sufficient.

I am glad my children are in bed.

I am glad I can now relax and crochet. 

I am glad that in the midst of the chaos of the last few days (did I forget to mention the catching up on all the housework not done Sunday and Monday??.... MAMMOTH-ness), that I am still blessed. That God is still good. That in the middle of the crazy I can find calm and learn valuable lessons in my walk with the Lord. That He shows me how I need to grow.  To lean on Him.  To seek forgiveness. To show grace, and receive it. 

I don't have it all together. But, praise the Lord, despite my shortcomings, God keeps it all together. 

Now, let me go and sort out the toddler who is not going to sleep.



  1. God's grace is sufficient.

    Caroline, thank you for being so honest. We all have different stresses and it is so easy to look at someone else's life and think that it is easy because they don't have my trials; forgetting, of course, that I don't have their trials.

  2. It sounds like a bed of roses to me : fragrant, beautiful, climbing roses - thorns included! The beautiful blooms and sweet fragrance make the tangles and thorns worthwhile, though, don't they? (besides, maybe you can make a new hook from the thorns!)

  3. Tabitha KNOWS when you are eating out, doesn't she? And look at Simeon's face over the peas...you smiled on the inside, didn't you :-)