Saturday, 8 September 2012

Proverbs 31 Ponderings - "Do him good - All the days of our life"

It's been a long time since I pondered in Proverbs 31!  So, I thought that it was a good thing to do on a Saturday night.

We come to verse 12.

"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

There are 2 aspects here, that really jump out to me.

Firstly, we see a verb.


The good that we are to demonstrate isn't just in our hearts, or in our minds.  We are required to put it into action.  No-one knows that our motivations and meanings are good, if we don't show them.  It's how our love for our husband's is truly demonstrated,  when we DO.

Love IS an action.  It is an outward evidence of an inward attitude.  It's a choice we make and a conduct we manifest.

All that we do, in our marriage, should be for the good of our husband, and not thinking of self at all.

When you remember that our ultimate example of marriage, is Christ and the Church, you see the perfect example of giving.  Of doing the best for the other.

It's not always easy - in fact, it is probably hard more than it is easy.  Our sinful hearts are drawn towards pleasing self, and we need to choose to look well to the ways of our husband before our own.  But, choose it we must.

Ephesians 5 verse 1 teaches us

"And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour" 

These are instructions to us all - not just to husbands.  We are to love in a sacrificial and giving way. 

Giving of ourselves to our husbands - to meet his every need, in any way we can.  To cast self aside and to seek his best by being all that we can be for him.  

Do we know that he likes us to dress a certain way?  Then do it! 

Do we know he likes certain meals?  Make them!

Do we know that he likes us to fold his laundry a particular way?  Do it!

Do we know that he prefers us to stay at home rather than going out?  Do it!

Do we know he prefers us to have our hair a certain way?  Do it!

Do we even KNOW what he likes?  Do we even care?  We should.  

If you don't know, ask.  It's that simple.  The verse above gives us some idea about how hard it may be to do good rather than evil.  It's a sacrifice.  It's giving up our own desires and wants, to meet the needs of another.  It's not easy, but the ultimate reckoning is that it pleases GOD!  We should aim to glorify Him by our actions, above all else.

The other aspect that really struck me, and I suppose could be overlooked easily.

"all the days of her life."

It's a long-term commitment.  And, it's not conditional.  

It doesn't say "so long as he is nice to you, and gives you what you want."

It doesn't say "when you feel like it".

It doesn't say "so long as you can make sure and get your own way, too."

It doesn't say "you can give up when things aren't peachy".

ALL the days of her life.  We need to KEEP ON doing good.  DOING.  

We cannot stop.  We cannot give up.  We cannot falter.  

There's a reason why "for better, for worse" was put in our marriage vows.   Those promises to God.  Because, there are "worse" moments, as well as "better".  We commit, then, when we make our choice in marriage, to do good ALL our days. Hard as it may sometimes be, we need to look to do good for our husbands. 

And, I am speaking from experience here.  As I am sure Robert would also say.  There are worse moments.  And, those are the times when it is even more important to choose the good.  Our marriages are all unique, and we all know our own husbands.  We know what good we need to do, in order to make our marriages work.  We know what good choices we must make - words we must say - actions we must take.

My prayer for each one of you is this - that you will seek the Lord's enabling to do your husband good, and to do it all your days. God is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.  He is able to give us the humility, grace and determination to do that good for our husband.  

May we all seek to fulfil this aspect of being a Proverbs 31 wife. 

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