Monday, 10 September 2012

Revive Your Marriage - revive your attitude

It's Monday again, so a new theme in Revive Your Marriage.  Today, it's reviving our attitudes.

First off, here is their challenge for this week.

Attitude accounts for SO much in a marriage, as well as every other aspect of life! You hear it said about the "power of a positive attitude", and, it's TRUE!  If we have our mind, and the behaviour that flows from it, in the right place, then we are on to a winner.

So, what would be my suggestions for reviving your attitude?

I think that something that is a "killer" in a marriage, is comparing.

Comparing your husband to someone else's husband.  It can be a dangerous thing to do, because it can lead to jealousy.

Comparing your husband to what you THINK would be the ideal.

Comparing your husband to what the WORLD says is ideal.

Comparing your husband to book's, magazine's and the media's "perfect man".

Comparison is NOT good.  WHY?  It breeds discontent.  It plants the seed of "He's not perfect", which can grow into the small seedling of "I could have something better", which can so easily lead to the full blown fruit of "I don't want what I've got".  And, then we have BIG problems.

Your husband is the husband that God deigned for you to have.  More often than not, YOU chose him! It's not like we are living in a culture with arranged marriages.  True, we often don't know each other as well as we thought we did.  We find "imperfections" and "faults" aplenty.  However, when we start to see these flaws in the light of what we perceive to be something better elsewhere, or displayed by the  husband of another, we can become jaded and unhappy.

The way to deal with starting to think of our husband as "not good enough", is two-fold.

Firstly, and most importantly, as we considered last week - PRAY.  Take these issues to the Lord, and plead with Him about them.  God ALWAYS answers prayer.  It may be "yes", it may be "no", it may be "wait".  Sometimes the wait takes a long time.  We may have started to think it's a "no".  But, by continued prayer, and dealing with things in a Biblical way, the answer may yet come.

Secondly, start to look at the good points.  Be a "glass half full" gal, rather than a "glass half empty".  Try and encourage and be thankful to your husband for the many wonderful things that we DO see.

Instead of wishing he could do DIY like some other guy, be glad that he is great at helping look after the children for you.

Instead of wishing he was more of an intellect, be glad that he can fix anything that gets broken around the home.

Instead of wishing he was able to spend more time with you and the children, be glad he has a job that provides for your needs and the money to live a life that is not one of complete poverty.

Instead of wishing he buys you flowers more often, be glad he helps you in your garden.

There are so many comparisons that can be made - you know your own heart and mind.  I am sure we all have and recognise them in our lives.

I am NOT saying to be content with sin in our husbands.  That is something we need to pray about and try to help them with.  I am talking about things that are just not what YOU would prefer them to be! It's as much an issue of having right priorities, as well contentment.

So, my challenge for this week?  Be content with what you have, and don't compare!  Start to see the good.  Be thankful for it.  Hug him a bit harder today because of it.

And, let me say, this topic has come to me on the perfect day.  My own heart was spoken to on this matter, whilst helping to encourage you lovely readers, too. God is good! My prayers have been answered, as my own attitude has been rebuked, and my heart humbled.

Don't forget to head on over to the other lady's blogs, listed at the top of the post.  I am sure they will have plenty of wise and helpful words to share.

1 comment :

  1. I'm visiting from the Revive Your Marriage challenge. Love you post today on attitdue! Great points that you shared - our attitudes are so important! Many blessings to you!