Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Remembering, with thanksgiving

Happy birthday to my Abigail.

This time, 4 years ago, I had an emergency c-section to deliver Abigail.  The long and the short is that she had got in a tangle with her cord, was trying to get out hand first, and her heart rate was dangerously low and disappearing.  The cord was around her neck THREE times, and wrapped around her wrist.  We didn't even have time for and epidural before being whisked off to theatre.  I was given a general anaesthetic, and it took only minutes for her to be born.  It took me a lot longer to come around, and I was under for about a couple of hours.  It was a very weird and confusing experience to waken up in a bright recovery room, with a midwife handing me a baby!

It had the potential for being a traumatic experience.  I know others who have found and emergency c-section like that to be traumatic.  I, however, was given from the Lord and incredible sense of peace.  There was only a fraction of a moment, as they wheeled me off to the theatre, that I suddenly thought "I hope the baby is ok".  The Lord gave me what is described in Isaiah.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee."
Isaiah 26:3

I just kept reminding myself that God was in control, and it would all be fine.  I knew right from when the student MW picked up Abi's heart rate that it was going to be a c-section.  I had already given birth to 4 others and KNEW it was too low.  I think I just simply knew that it was what NEEDED to happen, so I had to accept it.  

Undeniably, I felt awful, physically speaking, for quite a few weeks afterwards, and certainly for the first 48 hours.  Every time I looked at Abigail, though, I just felt an incredible gratefulness that both she and I were ok.  In another century things would have been very different.

She ended up being my most relaxed and laid back baby, who just sat sucking her fingers for her first year or so.

Then, this amazingly cute and mischievous little girlie appeared, and has charmed us ever since.  *smiles*

She still sucks her fingers, but we love her to bits.  As we love all our children, of course!!

I learnt that God does not always answer our prayers  how we expect Him to.  That we need to trust His plans as better than what WE think is best.  I had prayed and prayed for a better labour than I had for the first 4 children.  I prayed I would not even need to push at all, as it was that stage that always gave me bother.  I didn't.  I didn't need to push at all!!! *chuckles*  It wasn't QUITE the "not pushing" that I was thinking of, but God knew best.  It was a special time of learning.  I had to sit back and let other people do everything.  I had to learn to do nothing.  It was hard, but it was nice - and more so, it was important for a good recovery.  It was touching and wonderful to see my husband so capably take over and get everything done.  For all my family who came and helped so willingly.  Especially my Sister-in-law Anna, who had been through a c-section herself, and knew what it was like.  There were some tough moments of tiredness and pain, but I got through.  Best of all, the Lord has blessed me with 2 of my best "normal" deliveries since then, with far less pushing than the first 4! Although, more than the 5th! lol  

God answers prayer, but we need to trust that He knows what is best for us in that answer.  That we need to accept, with peace and grace, the outcome of our prayer requests. Allow His peace to rule in our hearts.

 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. "
Colossians 3:15 

And, above all else, finding thanksgiving in all circumstances. 

I am undoubtedly, and unbelievably thankful for our Abi-Dabi-Doo.

I don't have any pictures of Abi as a small baby on this computer, so I will have to start from when she was older.  Here goes....

Happy Birthday, Abigail Faith.

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