Character training from the weeds {pull them out while you can}

Finally. It happened.

I had a day with no rain, and a chance to go to the shops and buy some plants for the garden.

Yes. I was finally in my garden to sort it out properly, for the first time this year.

It was a mess. Weeds. Plants that hadn't been cut back. Dead plants that needed to be lifted, and which I hadn't even noticed were rotting away at all.

Usually I am well sorted by July, with plants growing nicely, and flowers in abundance. However, a combination of a small person who is quite high maintenance, and nasty damp weather, had held me back from getting to the garden to sort it out.

I forgot how much I missed it.  The feel of the earth on my hands.  The satisfaction of getting rid of weeds and creating cleared space. The joy of purchasing and planting beautiful things, resulting in a much brighter garden.

There is still much to do, including more pruning and weeding, and a painting job I want to do.

But, the best part? How the Lord whispers lessons into my heart and soul, whilst working with the wonders of His wonderful creation. Nearly EVERY single time, I seem to see something valuable to learn.

Today was no exception.

Four lessons, no less.

But, I will only cover one per post!

The one I want to share first is one that is so important as a parent.

Weeds. Weeds. Weeds.

The bane of gardening life. One of my biggest jobs that I still need to work on is to get rid of weeds. Not only do they spoil the look of the garden, but ultimately they stop the plant from growing as it should, and can sometimes kill the plant entirely.

The lesson I considered today was one of nipping things in the bud early. Pardon the pun. As a result of not dealing with the weeds when they were tiny, and only beginning to grow, I now have some hum-dingers growing around my dahlias in the front garden. It looks 50/50 weeds plants. That is never good.

I have nettles (don't talk to me about nettles - my hand hurts as I type!) - I have thistles - I have kinda' pretty looking pink ones that will go to seed and multiply if I don't sort them out. In fact, most weeds will eventually do that - think dandelion, for a start. (oooooh... something else has just sprung to mind!!!) All mixed liberally in with what SHOULD be there. My soon-to-be-beautiful dahlias.

It got me thinking about my children. Do you ever feel, particularly with children aged between about 2 and 4, that you are scolding them and telling them "no" a LOT? It you don't feel like that, you maybe should!! It's that formative age where they try and push boundaries, trying to get away with wrong behaviour every opportunity they get. It's part of human nature. Some of it is simple childishness, but much of it is sin. If you don't sort it out - by training and by discipline/consequences - whilst they are little, these sinful traits will just grow until they are choking out the good in a child, or at least spoiling the "beauty" in their character. I've seen it before. And, I can also see in my own children where I could have done with "weeding" more diligently when they were younger, because there are traits that are spoiling things now.

There is no such thing as perfect children. Likewise, there is no such thing as a perfect parent.

BUT, we CAN work at doing all we can to faithfully train our children, to the glory of God, whilst they are young. We can't save them, but we can guide them into ways that are God-honouring. We can teach them faithfully of what God expects of us morally, and spiritually. We can train them to behave in a way that shuns the behaviour that is wrong, and embraces that which is right. It's not our role as parents to save our children - we cannot - but it's our job to honour the Lord in how we raise them. We don't want an ugly mess when they are growing up, all because we don't tend their hearts and lives when they are young.

It's hard work. We need to keep at it and be consistent. Like a garden, weeds will keep cropping up. But, trust me, sorting it out when they are small plants is FAR easier to do than when the plants grow up. Now that my plants are bigger it's MUCH harder to get to the weeds. Firstly, because the roots of the weeds have got deeper and thicker. Then also because it can cause hurt to the plant to try and get rid of the weeds.

What a powerful reminder to me of the crucial work of tending to the behaviour of my children! If I neglect it whilst they are young it is SO much harder to deal with when they are teens. That time when the plant should be growing strong and blooming beautifully is NOT when I should then be starting to think "hang on, how did I not notice these "weeds" of ugly behaviour until NOW?"

We, as the parents, are the "gardeners" responsible for pulling out the weeds of deceit, lying, stroppiness, laziness, argumentativeness, rebellion and disrespect whilst our children are young. It's definitely easier to teach them when they are little, than when they are more strong willed and older. Not easy, but easier.

And, like the weeds, if we wait until the weeds have taken root, and starting to seed, then these sinful and ugly behaviours will just spread and take hold further, the later we leave it.

We need to recognise those things which God does not want in our children - spot the "weeds" - and pull them out when they are just beginning to rear their ugly heads. If we know ourselves what is right and wrong, according to the gardener's manual - God's Word -  then we will know how to sort it out. We need to be fully aware of what those traits are, in order to weed them out.

Keep at it "gardener" of little souls. By God's grace and help, you can train your children to be those who honour God.

Keep at it "gardener" of those who are getting bigger. Pull out those weeds whilst you can still grab them and get all the root out.

Keep at it "gardener" of those who you look at, like my ugly garden, and think "help!!! - what have I done??". God is able to redeem those years. Don't look at what you haven't done, but look at what you can STILL do!

Above all else, remember that the Holy Spirit is able to do that work of saving grace in their hearts and lives. Cry out to Him daily to help you as a parent, and to save their souls and do a personal work of grace in their lives. He is able and willing to save.

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not"

Galatians 6:9

Perspective {from frustration to fulfilment}

As I log into Blogger to write this post, my eye is scanning down the list of most recently published posts, and I inwardly groan.

ONE post in May?

REALLY?

I thought that once I was feeling better, after having had Ezekiel, I'd be back to my normal blogging schedule, and sharing with the world again. But no. I have failed dismally.

Or have I?

Well, if I want to look at it from the point of view of blogging to reach out to others, yes, I may have "failed".

Perspective.

THAT is the key word for me.

We had a visiting preacher at our Annual Service of Thanksgiving, last weekend. His sermon on the Saturday was all about perspective. He was particularly emphasising that THANKFULNESS is all about perspective. If we look at our circumstances from the wrong perspective, we will not be a thankful people. Change your perspective, and you will find something to be thankful for.

I think one of the keys to having a correct perspective is all about change. We need to move to the right position in order  to gain the right perspective. We need to be willing to move from wherever we are, in our thoughts an attitudes, and get to the right "place".

It's a bit like when I am walking along, all adult size, and I see something and yell to the children "did you see THAT?"

There ensues a cacophony of

"I can't SEE it"

"Where, WHERE?"

"MUUUUUUUM, I can't SEEEEEEEE it"

Then, I help them to adjust their stance, in order to see what I can see. Maybe I lift them onto my shoulders, or gently re-position them a couple of inches one way or another, to get a better perspective on what I am viewing.

THEN, we  get a different response.

"Oh YES Mum - I see it now!"

"Wow, yes"

From frustration to fulfilment.

That's where perspective brings us. Perspective brings us from a place where can easily become frustrated and disheartened, to a place where we are fulfilled by God's goodness and mercy, because we are seeing things how GOD wants us to see them. The Lord lifts us up on his shoulders, like the good shepherd lifted that wandering lamb, and brings us to a place where we can see His goodness.

It's like that old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side". Someone seems to have life better than you do. If you change your perspective, you may see your grass longer, or that you have more grass, or that you have someone to help you look after your grass, and they don't, or that your grass is getting greener, but it's just slow. Perspective.

There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. There is ALWAYS a better way to view our circumstances. There is ALWAYS a reason to rejoice.

But, we must be willing to move away from the position we are in, and see things from a different perspective.

Effort.

A teachable spirit.

Joy and contentment.

It's all needed to gain perspective.

Have I been quiet on here? Yes.

Am I failing to keep up with writing blog posts, or, if I gently nudge my perspective, am I busy looking after a precious, but slightly high maintenance baby, who will grow up soooooo fast, that I shouldn't feel bad for spending time caring for him?

Perspective shifted.

Frustration gone.

Fulfilment found.

Digging for gold {how to make the most of Church, when you don't always get to listen}

It was happening again.

I was at a Church meeting, and my baby needed my attention. Not just my baby, but my toddler. And then the next child up.

If you are also a mother with small children, I can guarantee one thing - when you go to Church, you don't always get to hear all of the sermon. In fact, sometimes you may do well to hear anything at all!

The thoughts of "Why do I even try?" can so easily try and push into your mind.

It would be very easy to become disheartened, and discouraged, but we mustn't allow that to happen. We need to to look at the situation with the right perspective, and yesterday I was reminded of WHY I have the perspective I have.

What is it?

Well, for a start, we don't just go to Church to benefit ourselves. We should be there, first and foremost, to worship God. It's about giving, not receiving. We also should be there to receive teaching. But, when we have children, we are also there to TRAIN them to sit. That, invariably means that we don't get to concentrate, in order to try and teach the CHILDREN to concentrate!

What I try and consider is that if I just take ONE thing away with me, that I can remember and put into practice in my life, or encourage someone else with, then it's been worth being there. In the moments between telling a child to sit quietly, and sit still, we hopefully get to hear SOMETHING of the sermon! I pray that the Lord will give me a "golden nugget". Just a little precious truth to take away with me. That's my "golden nugget" perspective!

Well, I was at a special Easter convention yesterday, where there were three sermons. One in the afternoon, and two in the evening. Needless to say, by the time we got to the third one, I heard little. I had just the baby through the first sermon, and that was my "golden nugget" moment. I actually was able to take away several things from THAT sermon.  The next one I heard even less, with my toddler there too (the first sermon my hubby had looked after the children, the second sermon was HIM preaching, so that didn't happen!), and by the third sermon my three year old had also come out the back! Quietness just wasn't happening, as they were tired and it was into the evening. I was so glad to have taken something away from the earlier sermon!

But, the moment that gave me joy was when I was able to so very quickly apply what I HAD heard. Speaking to various friends who I met at that Church, I was able to refer back to the sermon we had just heard, when trying to encourage them in their lives. THAT is what God wants. He wants us to hear and to put His Word into action - to be able to apply it to our lives, and to encourage each other with it. God's Word is LIVING! It's powerful. It's able to teach and guide us. It's certainly not something that should go in one ear and out the other, never to be thought of again.

Better still, the verse then came up in my everyday life in the days that followed. More opportunity came to apply those words to my heart and life, and the Lord engrained it further into my mind. He is faithful and good, and His word does not return void.

Take heart, fellow mother of small children.  Try and listen out for that "golden nugget" when you are in a Church service. Amidst the training of small children, which is very time consuming and can be distracting, we CAN take away precious truths and apply them to our heart and lives!

(I know this isn't a long post, but I am desperately trying to get back into blogging, even if my posts are short. Life isn't quite returning to the way I had hoped, as fast as I would like - a whole lesson on its own....bear with me, please? I trust that my words, though few, will still bless someone's heart, as much as the Lord blesses them to mine)

Never underestimate {the power of a good example}

As a mother, I love the precious little moments where you simply have to stop and smile.

They happen pretty regularly. They are truly one of the highlights of being a mother.

Moments when my heart is so full it could burst, filled with the joy of parenthood. If you are a parent, you'll understand.

I had one of those moments the other day.

Susie had been helping me in the kitchen (she's only 8, nearly 9, but one of the BEST helpers in the universe, I reckon. Yes, I am biased, but even still....), but she got called away to another job. So, I was left washing up with no-one to help me dry up.

Or, so I thought.

Until my little 2 year old, Tabitha, came up to where I was, grabbed a tea towel, and enthusiastically began to dry up!

I didn't ask her.

I didn't even show her how to do it.

She just did it, all of her own volition.

But, DID someone show her how to do it?

Well, yes, they DID! I showed her siblings how to help, and she watched ME drying up, and her SIBLINGS drying up, and she just copied them.  She learnt by EXAMPLE.

I know it can work they other way, and I often tell my children to be careful what they do, because little eyes are watching. However, this was one of those heart-throb moments when you remember that they DO see the good, and they DO copy it, too!

Our role as a mother isn't just to correct and train, but it's also to be a good example. Not just in how to keep a house, but in our other behaviour, too.

If we are loving, affectionate, caring, tender, compassionate, helpful, and the many other things we SHOULD be, then there is a high chance of that good rubbing right off on our children. Only the Lord can do a true transforming work in their hearts, but He can use our good example as a means of drawing their hearts to Him. We are called to be Christlike, and little eyes are watching to see us put that into action.

So, whatever we do, day by day - whether it be something ordinary and mundane, or something more important - we must never underestimate the power of a good example.

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Galatians 6:9

Be still.... {a message made for mothers}

I was browsing through Instagram last week, as I do. It's such an inspiring place with all the visual impact that comes from the pictures shared.

I saw a picture shared by Rebecca from Grace and Salt ink. It was very nicely showing off her lovely inkDori's (one of which I have), and the words on the journal said simply "Be still and know that I am God". (Psalm 46:10)

As you may know, I have a gorgeous little boy who is now 4 weeks old. Having a baby, and more particularly if you feed them yourself, you are forced to sit down on a regular basis, and sit still.

It's not a natural thing for a busy mother to do. We always have something we can be doing - especially if you have little ones, or if you homeschool like I do. Even if you don't, there are school runs and after school clubs. Mums, by their very definition, are active and "on the go". It's just who we are.

But, this verse reminded me of both a spiritual and a temporal truth.

It's GOOD to be still!

Physically, sitting still to feed a baby gives me the chance to rest. It makes me stop from everything else around me, and JUST SIT. It's bliss. There's no denying it. I love those moments where I get to bond with my baby, and put my feet up. Yes, I am often doing other things (like supervising school work, directing the children in their chores, or talking on the phone), but sometimes I just take the time to read, rest, and pray. Especially in the night, many people are prayed for in those still moments.

Everything else simply HAS to stop, because feeding my baby, which is something only I can do, MUST be done. It's an imposed stillness. If I didn't take that time to be still, my baby wouldn't thrive. He'd quickly let me know he wasn't happy, and he'd end up suffering from my neglect.

Our spiritual life is no different.

We NEED to make the time to "be still".

Why?

It's in those times, when we make everything else stop, and still our hearts before God, that we KNOW He is God. We are aware of His incredible attributes, and His wonderful nature. We truly KNOW He is God when we tune out the clamour of our everyday lives, of the world that surrounds us, and when we focus on HIM.

Mothers can be so busy listening to our husband, children, friends and other "voices" that we can neglect the time to just listen for what GOD wants to say to us. Stilling our minds and hearts, and finding God's voice in our lives.

It may be time spent in prayer. Something I MUST do more of.

It may be time reading His Word.

It may be listening to a sermon, or simply resting and meditating on how much we have to be thankful for.

But, whatever it is, we should take heed to these words if we want to know God better.

Be still.

(pen: Staedtler Noris Club double ended fibre tip

white writing: masking fluid with a paintbrush

background: watercolour wash)

(I listened to these albums during labour again, and this remains a favourite of mine.)

Long Story Short {children's Bible book FREE on Kindle today!}

(this post contains affiliate links)

I have been meaning to share about a book we got recently, but today I have prompted to tell you RIGHT NOW. Why? Well, a book by the same writer is FREEEEE on Kindle today, so here's me telling you!

Recently, our poor Susie had an accident when riding a scooter, and got a nasty gash above her eye. What started out as nasty, but treated with glue, turned into something nastier. She got a swelling above her eye that wouldn't go down like normal swelling, then she got a raised temperature and became quite poorly a week later.

I took her to the Dr, who sent her to the paeds ward in the hospital. It transpires she had an abscess, which then needed a hospital admission and surgical intervention to clear it.

Very kindly, the Church we were visiting when it happened (they have a games evening for children), sent a gift to Susie, to wish her a speedy recovery.

It was "The Gospel Story Bible", by Marty Machowski.

It's a fab book. It goes through the many stories of the Bible, at a level suitable for children. More to the point, it brings "the gospel" into each one. It points them to Christ, and tells them of their need of the Saviour.  What better story book can you have, than one that makes THAT application for boys and girls?

I highly recommend the book, and there are 156 stories, which is LOADS! I worked out, with our 4 day week, that there are nearly enough to do a whole year of devotionals to tie in with our school day!

You could use it in Children's Ministry, too. There is even a Bible curriculum with printable PDF resources, suitable for all ages of Sunday School. ( I could only find it in the USA)

Well, what I found out today, is that she has written OTHER books, and one of them is FREE on Kindle today!

Long Story Short.

No, I'm not about to tell you something briefly.

It's the title of the book!

This is a family devotional, again bringing the gospel clearly into the stories. It is based on the Old Testament, and points the children towards Christ through it all. It seems like it's also really good, and I can't wait to use it with the children.

Of course, if you read this when the offer is gone, you can still get it as a hard copy, from Amazon USA, and from Amazon UK.

But, today (and I don't know how long the offer will last), it is free both on Amazon.com  and Amazon.co.uk , so not only on one side of the Atlantic! (which does happen! - and usually the OTHER side of the Atlantic)

Now come on... WHO doesn't like something for FREEEEE????

Better still, a good quality Bible book for children?

Perfect combo, in my opinion.

Now, go off.  Run as fast as you can to your device of choice and get it ON there!

And, if you are too late, consider buying the hard copy, because these are books worth having in your home, as you raise your children for the Lord. (See the carousel below)

My top tips for toilet training {pinch of salt will be needed}

My words of wisdom for a Friday afternoon, based on recent thoughts and ponderings on a recent non-success in toilet training.

 Ten easy steps to toilet training

1) Rip up all your carpets and put down wipe clean flooring.

2) Remove all commitments from your life, including looking after any other children, or turning your head for a single moment.

3) Buy about 100 packs of cheap underwear so you can simply throw it away when it gets soiled.

4) Also buy your local shop's entire supply of anti-bacterial spray and kitchen roll.

5) Don't try and do it when you are pregnant, have recently given birth, or have other baby type people to look after.

6) Don't ever get upset, frustrated, tired, cross, frustrated, tired or, did I say cross?....

7) Find lots of extreme and sugar laden treats to ply on your child, ideas to reward that you found on Pinterest, written by people who have either never toilet trained, or live in a world that does not include number 5 (see above).

8) Place your child in a completely wipe clean room, with only wipe clean toys, and a toilet in situ.

9) If you homsechool, consider sending your child to nursery until they are toilet trained (they do it for you there, apparently...) and pull them out once they are toilet trained....

10) Refer to list number 2.


(PLEASE tell me you realise list 1 was NOT serious....???)


List 2

1) First, arm yourself in prayer, and seek God's wisdom as to the timing to start.

2) In that decision making, remember that there is no such thing as the "right" time to toilet train.

3) Ignore all the comments from people who snarkily try and suggest your X year old child "should" be trained by now.

4) Remember YOU are the parent, and you know your child better than anyone else.

5) Try  your best for as long as you can, and if it doesn't work, STOP. It's not a hill worth dying on.

6) Do use treats and rewards if you think it will work - don't lose sleep over the amazing things other people seem to implement, and incredible reward charts they seem to dream up. You DON'T need them.

7) If at first you don't succeed, try again when it suits you and the child better.

8) Try and avoid any time you are going to already feel vulnerable, low or easily defeated. (Like, in pregnancy....)

9) Surround yourself with others who have BTDT, and only those who will encourage you, not berate or discourage you. They will often give you words of wisdom and advice that will help, but even their advice may not work for YOU.

10) Remember that each child is different. They don't all train early. It's a physiological ability that they have to master, and some simply can't master it when they are little.

AND, my biggest "note to self"....

Never yet have a I known of a man to walk up the aisle in a nappy. I doubt my small person who I am currently not having much success toilet training will be the exception.

(And, as in the words of Hebrews 11.... " And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of...."

The time my toddler played with poo with a sibling, on the floor, with a toy digger,

The times I have gone around the house soaking up bodily fluids.

The moment when I had to clean poo off a wall.

The day when a child played with poo with a wooden spoon (yes, it went in the bin...spoon and poo) )


Can you tell that toilet training is actually one of my LEAST favourite parts of being a mother?? I'd sooner give birth than toilet train.

...The joys of parenthood (ok, mostly motherhood....)

Therein endeth my words of wisdom.

Have a good day.

A key to surviving large family life {training children to help in the home}

I must start this post with a caveat. I am not finished my parenting journey, and I am not perfect. I don't have all the answers. I only ever share what MY experience is, which may help someone else.

There. I've said it. Glad to get that off my chest first.

As I type, my 12 year old is making dinner. I didn't force her. She's not doing it under coercion, but willingly. She's dong it to be a help to me.

I love her.

One of the most common questions I have about having a large family is "Isn't it a lot of work? How do you cope?"

My answer is simple.

They all pull together to help.

In the immortal words of Bob the Builder "Working together, we get the job done"!

Now, the very important key to all of this is simple.

My children didn't just naturally incline themselves to doing jobs.  No siree. I can unequivocally tell you that it doesn't come naturally. Admittedly, some children have a natural bent towards being more helpful, but it's certainly not consistent, and generally only if THEY feel like it. And, let's face it, most of the time jobs need to be done when we DON'T feel like it. Right?

That said, the key is TRAINING.

My role, as a mother, is train up my children. If they aren't going to do something naturally, then I need to teach them HOW to do it.

I have chatted to people, in times past, about the children doing jobs.

"My children don't help like that! How DO you do it?"

Well, folks, if you don't expect them to do it, and you don't train them to do it, it ain't likely they WILL do it. Simple.

I'm not some super-mother who has magical powers like a modern day Mary Poppins. (I wish)  I am a tired out, often impatient, yet persistent mother, who tries very hard to TRAIN her children how to do jobs around the house. I don't always succeed as I would like, but I try.  It's not easy, let me tell you. It requires effort from ME, first and foremost, but it's totally worth it.

So, two things I will quickly deal with.

WHY?

and

HOW?


Why do we train our children to help in the home?

1) God is a God of order.

I know that family life can be messy, and it comes with the territory of having lots of people around. As I tell the children, if each of them leaves just FIVE things lying around, that's FORTY things lying around. It quickly multiplies into chaos! Having things around which show you are living in the house, doesn't mean we never try to do anything about it. God didn't create this earth in chaos. He designed it with order, with everything in its place. One process follows on from another in order for life to continue. If one part is knocked out of place, by an external factor, chaos ensues. Isn't that the same in our homes?? If we want to follow God's design for His creation, we should try and have order in our homes, for them to function well.

2) We need to be good stewards

In the Bible we read about the parable of the faithful steward.  We need to be those who care for the things that God has given to us. I don't want my children growing up thinking they can leave things lying about all over the house, to be stood on, squished and destroyed. If things are put away, and tidied up, they will be looked after far more carefully.  Children need to learn that things have a value, and have to be earned. It's one of the reason why we don't shower our children with "things" for no reason. They either receive them for a special occasion, or they EARN them. If they don't learn as children, they will become adults who don't care for their things. God generously gives us all we have, we need to train them to be thankful and look after those things.

3) Learning not to be lazy

Training children to tidy up, from a young age, is teaching them a good work ethic.  The book of Proverbs tells us to look to the ant, and learn no to be lazy. In all labour, there is profit. We gain, in some way, shape, or form, from anything we work hard at. Not being lazy, with tidying and chores, teaches them that a tidier house is easy to maintain.  It teaches them that they can have free time once a job is done. It teaches them that it's satisfying and rewarding to see a job done to completion. It teaches them that working hard is a blessing to others. Being lazy only brings trouble. And lazy children become lazy adults, all too often, and then they bring that into the workplace. That results in unreliable employment, once others find out you are lazy.  We are training our children to be reliable adults, by teaching and training them to help in the home.

4) It makes our home a welcoming environment

I once visited a home, a long while ago, and it was SOOOOO messy. I knew the people, and they just didn't care for their appearance or their home. I couldn't relax in there. It was dirty, messy and disorderly. (Admittedly, I also find houses that are ULTRA tidy not to be relaxing! It doesn't feel like a home to me, but that's just a personal thing. At least they are working hard to keep it tidy.)

The thing is, we should be folks who desire to create a welcoming environment to others. If our homes are a royal mess, people won't feel welcomed. It gives the message that you don't care enough about others to even ATTEMPT to tidy for them. And I am talking people who you arrange to come and visit - not the "drop ins". They have to just take you as they find you!!! As I already said, a house with lots of people can get crazy and messy by just LIVING there! But, if you know people are coming, you show you care by creating a welcoming place for them. If you have lots of children, you are training them to be welcoming hosts, and to consider others, by training them to help in the home.

One of the incidents that made a HUGE impact upon me, as a young mother, was when we visited a home of a large family. Their daughter was one of the eldest children. We were eating breakfast with them before heading on an onward journey. The daughter and the mother stood to the side of the room and SERVED us at breakfast. I assume they either ate before us, in the kitchen, or after we left, but they put the effort in to do everything they could for us. It was BLISS!!! It really made an impact and taught me the importance of training our children to have the desire to serve others, and make them feel welcome. Order, not chaos. Helpful, not a hindrance.


5) As a testimony.

We are being watched.  As God's people, others look on to see how we are behaving, and how we live. When we have a life filled with disorder, people see, and whether we like it or not, may judge us. Now, if they happen to drop in one day and we have been clearing our toy cupboards, and it's a mess, then that's understandable mess. If they judge us for that, it's their own problem. Or, if we genuinely are struggling with ill health or the struggles of having lots of little children who can't help so much, that's a situation where people should extend grace.  But, if we never seem to care about the chaos that is around us, it's not a good testimony. We tell the world that other things are more important than caring for our belongings, and the home we live in. Good stewards should care for their homes, and all that God has given them, and be a testimony as faithful servants of Christ.


So, HOW do we train our children?

1) All of our children have a DOMINION. I remember watch the Duggars, and I think they had a "jurisdiction". That made a lot of sense to me! It teaches the children to take responsibility for an area in the home, and they are then solely accountable for its care and tidiness. I don't give the little ones a dominion, because it's quite a big job, but all of my oldest 3 have one, and the fourth has an area she is mostly responsible for. So, 7 and up, I've done it. I taught them what needed to be done in that area. That's a key thing. I TAUGHT THEM. They needed direction to know what TIDY meant!  Then, I have to CHECK on them! I look to see if they have done all they should, and get them to sort out anything they have missed. They do it on a Saturday, and in the week, everyone helps sorts out those areas that are theirs, as spot tidying. The deep cleaning and tidying is their dominion, though. It works for us, and could be done, on a smaller scale, with younger children. Their dominion could be one area of a room, or one element of a bigger job. But, the two key factors in that are teaching them and watching them!

2)  Tidying up generally

I know some people have chore charts for different times of the day, but we work it slightly differently. After breakfast, the oldest 4 have a job to do. Emptying the dishwasher, clearing up after breakfast, sweeping up the kitchen, and taking out the recycling. (Does everyone else have so MUCH recycling??? It's CRAYYYY-ZEEEEE) It means that the kitchen area gets a good tidy up in the morning, to start off the day. After the other meals they all just pull together to get the tidying up done. Lunch time clear up is still a bit rusty, so I need to work at that. Dinner time, Daddy is usually here and he allocates jobs when we are done. Usually one of them has set the table, so they get lighter duties after dinner, to keep it fair. One clears, one stacks the dishwasher, one clears up anything to go in the fridge or the bin, and someone else wipes up. Many hands make light work!

3) End of the day

I try very hard to get a few areas tidy before Daddy gets home. Depending on the season of life, it's not always as I would like it, but we TRY! The hall and the lounge are the places we try and get tidied up, because we know he feels more relaxed if those areas are tidy. Some days it's not quite done, but he quickly sets to giving them jobs to get it finished up. We end up with a scurrying hoard of children, putting things back where they belong.

4) Trying to make tidying fun

There are a few things we throw into the mix, every now and again, to try and make tidying fun! Yes, FUN! It works better with the little ones, who are more green behind the ears. Aherm.

First, we do speed tidying. We will stop what we are doing and do as much as we can in 5 minutes. I find it's important to set them achievable tasks, then they feel like they have accomplished great things. Then, we do the "tidy ten things". They have to go and pick up ten things and put them back where they belong. We also do paring, when I get jobs and pair the children up to do them as a team. I will often give a reward for the pair who do the best job. I will pair a younger with an older, which works best. Sometimes we do it with their names on lollipop sticks, and sometimes I will just write it on a piece of paper. I have done it when our friends visit, too, and they enjoy the novelty of tidying with someone "new"!

I also find that the little ones like to tidy groups  of things. So, I will get a child to find all the cars, or all the play animals, or things that are blue. They enjoy the challenge of that!

Of course, they also have to learn that tidying can't ALWAYS be fun! Sometimes we have to do things in life, just because they need to be done. It's as simple as that.

And, I don't know about you, but i often have children saying "But, Mum, *I* didn't make the mess".

To which I reply....

"Welcome to my world, dear"

Many jobs in the world are to do with sorting out other people's "messes"! I was a physio, and a lot of the time people were suffering from a "mess" they got THEMSELVES into!

This, however, is one of the most important lessons I teach the children about working in the home.....

We do it because we are all part of the same family - the same team.  Whatever way you want to look at it, we pull together to make family life work. There are times when, as the leader, I can't do things as I would like. It's not child cruelty to enlist the help of the children more than normal. It's LIFE! It's FAMILY! If I can raise children to be willing to help others, where they see a need, I think that will be a job well done. It's all about learning to be selfless and pro-active. Seeing a need and meeting it in any way we can. Right now, I often have to tell them how to do that. However, more and more, they are starting to see for themselves, and offer to be helpful. Years ago, life like that was NORMAL.  Nowadays, children have a life of ease, with everything handed to them on a plate, and I really think the parents don't do them ANY favours, to train them to be takers, and not givers.

One last thing.  How would I like to IMPROVE things?!? There's ALWAYS room for improvement, right??

Firstly, I want to DECLUTTER!!! WE have wayyyyyy too much stuff. Having a lot of children can lead to a major issue. People want to buy them something for each Christmas and birthday, when you already have all the things bought for the previous children. They don't NEED anything else!!! I am starting to get inventive about gifts, and last Christmas most family members willingly clubbed together so I could buy each child one significant gift that we couldn't afford otherwise. Something really special and higher quality. That worked really well, and the children appreciated their special gifts. But, we still have loads! I figured that adding to things we already had would help. It did, and it didn't. We now have a LOT of Playmobil, Duplo and Lego, but it makes such a mess when they play with it, and tends to "migrate". I don't want to get rid of it all, but I think I will cut back.

Secondly, I want to be more consistent. A lot of the time when the tidying doesn't happen, it's MY fault for not implementing it more diligently. Children are little sinners. I am a big sinner. Our hearts are all inclined to self, and sometimes self has to be sacrificed in order for jobs to get done - PROPERLY! I also don't check properly after they say they have done, to make sure it's MY kind of done. Subsequently they end up off doing their own things, saying the job is done, then I have the HARDER task of getting them to come BACK to the job, to do it properly. Argh.

Thirdly, I need to train them better about being thorough. One of my children was asked to tidy up after making dinner today. The child very kindly and willingly made pizza for the children, from scratch. When it was cooking I asked that everything be put away, as that is what I do whilst dinner is cooking. I use the cooking time to clear up. The said child THOUGHT they put everything away. The next thing we knew, there was passata ALL over the counter, splattered everywhere, like some kind of tomato blood bath! Thankfully, the child realised their error, saw the humour in it, and cleared it up brilliantly. But, he was reminded that if you do a job properly in the first place, you won't have extra work to do later!

I must also clarify that these things don't always happen in our home without blips. It gets in a mess, regularly. I have to go around, like a sergeant major, getting them to do it. I sometimes despair. I sometimes feel like doing it all myself. If I do THAT, they will never learn. It would be majorly counter-productive! I'm also telling you what works for ME! It's not set in stone. It's not the law of the Medes and Persians which cannot be altered. I'm just trying to do my best, in an imperfect world, and hoping that something that we do, or why we do it, may help someone else on their way.

Above all else, we try and remember that we do "all to the glory of God". Not for our own self satisfaction, but because we want to bring honour and glory to HIM! Yes, that includes tidying the house.

So, on that note, I'm off to finish off tidying the bits that the children missed, so we don't start the day behind tomorrow.

Dear mother of littles {how to get through the hard days}

Motherhood is demanding.

It's a fact.

There's just no quibbling about it, or denying it. It's hard, tiring and challenging on many levels.  I'm not out the other side of the childhood stage, but I'm also pretty certain that the challenges of being a parent never go away - they just change.

That's all true of motherhood at every age or stage, but analyse it when you are the mother of only little ones - adding in the element of them being close in age - and motherhood has a whole other sting in the tail.

Mothering many littles is a stage of parenting which, in my opinion, is one of the hardest you will face. I've been there. I've survived. If it was down to sheer determination and self-sustenance, I wouldn't be here to tell the tale. Simple as that.

When you have only little children life is demanding. You are the only one who can provide for the every need of your children. They can do very little for themselves, and anything they CAN do invariably involves you having to micro-manage, and often redoing yourself. Quite simply, they are not old enough to do much, but they place a huge level of work upon you, as the mother. Add to that the fact that there will be children who are at the stage where you have to put a lot of effort into character training (read "telling them "no, you can't do that - no, you shouldn't be doing that" ALL.DAY.LONG.....), and you are royally going round the twist.

Yup. Mothering lots of little children is HARD.

Realllllly hard.

I can remember days when I just wept. I cried. Then I cried some more. I was exhausted. I was frustrated.  I was worn out mentally. I hardly had time to have a quiet time, without little ones crawling all over me. Jobs got behind, and that just made me feel worse.  I look back, and it now all seems like a distant memory. I got through it.

So, how DO you get through it? Obviously, there's no magic formula. Each person has a unique set of circumstances, that shape how your family operates.  I do think there are certain principles that can help any mother, in any family setting. At the very least, they are things I know helped me, and may help others.


1.  Never forget that God is in control.

Sweet, exhausted, run-ragged mother. God planned for you to be the mother of the children HE gave you. They are a gift from Him, and they are a blessing. God says so, and hard days don't remove that fact from being true. When God gave these blessings to you, they didn't come with a promise of peachy days, with nary a trouble or trial. In fact, we are told we WILL have trials and struggles. The fact of the matter is this - raising and caring for our children is part of the trial of motherhood. The children themselves are not the trial - the work involved in parenting them IS. The overarching principle of the matter doesn't change though - God is still in control! No matter how hard the days get, God, and His ways, are perfect. We cannot ever allow ourselves to forget that. It's the most important thing for us to remember. God doesn't make mistakes, and if He made you the mother of your children, it's because it's just the way He wants it to be. Hard days included.



2. Embrace the hard days as a way to bring you closer to God.

Undeniably, the times where we feel at our lowest, the most under pressure, and struggling hardest, are when we cast ourselves more fully upon the Lord. "When I am weak, then am I strong". It's only when we recognise our weakness, and our frail humanity, that we fully rest upon the everlasting strength and provision of God. He NEEDS us to come to the end of ourself, to rely fully upon His grace and goodness. Mothering many littles CERTAINLY brings us to that place, so embrace it, and cast yourself upon God's unfailing nature, and bountiful, loving care.

Raise your tired heart in prayer.  Make the time to commune with the Lord, and strengthen your prayer life. You don't need silence.  You don't need hour upon hour.  Prayer can be raised any time, any place. Don't silently battle on.  Do not.  Bring your burdens to the Lord.  Ask Him to help you and meet your needs. Seek Him for wisdom as to how to make it through each day.

Thank Him for the hard days, and seek Him in the struggles. You will find yourself in a closer place with the Saviour, as you acknowledge your weakness and throw yourself completely into His care.


3. Seek out scriptures as your "watchword".

Take some time to read the Bible, and find a verse, or verses, to be your "go-to" verse on those really hard days. A verse that will instantly transport you into a place of peace and comfort, and will carry you through your trials.  The Bible is FILLED with verses that will lift your spirits.  Different verses will mean something to each of us.  Ask God to speak to YOUR heart, and when things get tough, simply speak those words to your heart, and experience God bringing calm to your soul. Personally, mine is Philippians 4:19. "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." My needs are so much more than food on the table, and clothes on the back. My mental and emotional needs are often far greater than my physical needs, and bringing that verse to mind brings me so much comfort and strength.  Why not print or write out the verse or verses that you find? Put them around the house, in your Bible - anywhere that you will see them regularly. Prints on the wall, or bookmarks.  You can even get verses on ornaments and home decor items, just to have at perfect eye level. More importantly, write it on the tables of your hearts. Commit God's Word to memory, so it's in your heart and mind above all else, ready to pluck out and raise with your voice, whenever you need it.


4.Find people to support you.

Whether it's real life people, or people on the other end of a phone or a computer - FIND people. We live in a day and age where there are always people you can call on for support and advice. Just knowing that there are others who know how it feels, and can give you ideas about how to cope, is a massive help.  When I just had little ones I had very little real life, or virtual, support. It was so hard. My family didn't live nearby, and I had very few friends nearby. I am very thankful for the few I had, and I can remember just crying, sometimes, and saying how hard I was finding things. They were able to help me, support me, and pray for me. That, above all else, is such a comfort. The prayers of people who understand and care. If you can, meet up with others, or invite them over to yours, if that is easier. Whatever you do, don't try and go it alone. Talk to your husband.  Tell him about your struggles. He may have suggestions that you wouldn't have thought of, looking at it as the one not in the daily throes of it all. Be willing to listen and respect his suggestions. They may not all work, or even be practical, but be open enough to listen and consider them  - you may be pleasantly surprised!



5.  Simplify your life.

One of my worst enemies, when I had lots of littles, was myself. I tried to do too much. I look back and think how insane I was, attempting to do things that just weren't necessary. I was so keen to home educate, I jumped into "formal" education quite early. Looking back, I just didn't need that pressure upon myself. Little children can learn so much without needing a curriculum. The moment you add a curriculum you feel bound to use it, whether from pressures outside the home, or those you place upon yourself. "I paid for it, I'd better use it".  "People say I should do X, Y and Z, so I should". "I'm failing my child if I don't do things a certain way".  Children are little sponges. They are more likely to learn, negatively, from your stress levels and irritability stemming from your over-worked schedule, than they are from any formal "schooling" you do with them. Prioritise what you want your child to learn. Keep it simple, and don't put more demands upon yourself than are already there from just EXISTING!

Education aside, we can also make life too complicated in other ways. Media bombards us with all sorts of new-fangled and clever ways to do things - everything from making cute lunches to fun craft activities to do with your little ones. Pinterest is either a curse or a blessing! These things are all great.  If you have one child.  Maybe two.  And if two, several years between the children. Many ideas are lovely, and probably clever and fun.  They are not fun if you are already stretched to the limit in the area of patience and time. They are torture and unnecessary. Don't ever fool yourself into thinking that you have to do lots of complicated and fancy things, in order to be a good mother. A good mother knows her own limitations and skills, and only does what she knows she can handle. Little Johnny's Mum does it? SO WHAT! You're not little Johnny's Mum. (well, maybe your son IS Johnny, but you get what I mean!) Keep your life as simple as possible, and you will be able to cope a lot easier.

Even a simple thing like laundry. Don't have too many clothes to have to wash and put away. Don't fold and iron everything, even if you used to. Put things back on if they are just a little dirty, and you won't see anyone today. NO-ONE WILL SEE, and it won't kill them!

If you are the kind of person who needs to go out, go out.  If you are finding it hard to do logistically, plan ahead to make the actual exit from the house easier. Get everything ready in advance, and you can just go.  If you are someone who needs to just be at home, stay at home. Don't go out because someone said you should. If staying at home means you stay sane, and keep in your bubble, stay at home. It won't harm you, or your children, to not get out much. It's all about getting through the days, weeks, months, or, (said in hushed tones, lest I scare you....) years, of this particular age and stage.

Which brings me to my last point....

Its a stage.  It WILL pass.

It's true! No kidding.  You will get through the other side of this. Your children will get bigger.  They will start to help more.  The strain and struggle will be lifted from your shoulders, and shared around the family - and that is PART of being a family. So long as you train them well whilst they are young, life will get easier. You won't be so tired.  Sleep will return.  Sanity will prevail. Even if you have many more children, life gets easier as you go on. When I had Tabitha, and even when I was pregnant with her, it was my 8th, but it was so much easier! My older ones were, and are, a wonderful help. Every little bit of help adds up. Each tiny little thing a child does as part of their everyday routine, is one little thing less for you to do. I rarely set the table, empty the dishwasher, take out the bin, or clean the toilets! All these are jobs spread between the children, but make my life that little bit easier.

Trust me, it gets better.  You will look back and these days will be a hazy memory, and you will have the joy of children, getting bigger, FAR too quickly, resulting in a life that is much easier than it is now.  You will never look back and wish you hadn't had these days, because that would mean wishing you didn't have your children. Children make work - children ARE a blessing. Therefore, work is a blessing!

I know.

Go figure.....

Top 3 Audio Adventure Resources {ready for a road trip!}

(this post contains affiliate links)

This year, we are going on a road trip.

We've done road trips before.

We've driven to Cornwall. Approximately 300 miles.

We've driven to Dumfrieshire.  Approximately 300  miles.

We've driven to Aviemore, in the north of Scotland.  Approximatley 500 miles.

Big stuff, eh?

What? No?

I know, I know, to folks in the USA that's a DAY trip, right?

Well, this year, we're going even further.

Duh, duh, duuuuuuuuh.

We are going to ITALY!

Ciao!

Erm, approximately 1150 miles.

Ohhhhhh yeah. NOW we're talking road trip!

Now, the thing is, we get massively barraged by little people asking "Are we nearly there" on the SHORTER road trips.

NFC.  (Normal for children)

With such a long journey ahead, I need to be prepared.  That means, entertain the kiddos.

We have been blessed with the gift of in-car DVD players, plus the gift of wireless headsets so we don't have to listen to the sound track of movies and other shows on DVD. Genius!

However, we also love audio resources. We listen to all sorts of audio books, but we paraticularly love adventure themes, and more specifically, Christian themes.  I adore classic, fictional stories, and have many of them as audio books, but having Biblical themes, and character building truths woven in, is brilliant.

I want to share with you about three different ones you can purchase, which have been family favourites of ours for YEARS!

First off is one that involves two of my favourite things.  Stories, and singing.  The best part is, it's something I have been listening to since *I* was a child!


It's "Patch the Pirate".

These stories began when Ron Hamilton lost one eye to cancer, in the 70's, I believe? He then had to wear an eye patch, and it was observed he looked like a pirate.  Instead of bemoaning his physical loss, he went about putting it to spiritual gain.  He invented the character Patch the pirate, who sails the seas (and the skies!) having adventures, with a spiritual lesson in each.  The songs are terrific, with GREAT Christian truths woven in, and the story lines are fun, yet challenging. There is a whole crew of "ship mates", and there are various characters they meet on their travels, as well as Sissy Seagull who is a permanent crew-mate (and acted by his precious wife, Shelly!).  All my children enjoy these, as do I - especially the ones I have cherished for 30 years myself! They are making new ones all the time, and there are MANY we have never heard.  My kind SIL bought us a new one for our holiday, which we can't wait to listen to - International Spy Academy. It's main theme is the importance of the Bible.

I am certain we will be quickly learning the songs, and singing them to each other around the house! We regularly spout forth various lines from other songs, like "the poochie lip will get you if you don't watch out", when they stick out their lower lip,  or "If you have a sister or brother, be kind to each other", when they are less than loving. There are SO many brilliant song lyrics, if you haven't listened before, you should get yourself an album.  You can listen to samples of all the tracks on Amazon, and there are HUNDREDS of tracks on there, for numerous albums available to digitally download. It used to be you could only get them shipped, in CD format, from the USA, but they have partnered with Amazon to make them more easily availble! Yay!

I would say that this is suitable for any age.  The little ones will enjoy it, and even the older ones enjoy listening over and over (though they may not always admit it!).  For me, it's nostalgia, and the joy of having my OWN children listen to something that I have loved my whole life.

Follow this link to find all the Patch the Pirate tracks available on Amazon.  You can find the whole albums, or just individual tracks there.

You can also learn more about Patch the Pirate and his crew at www.patchthepirate.org. Find out more about Patch's story, and the stories available. As an added bonus, you can listen, for free, to their latest story that has been broadcast on radio!

Our next family favourite is another "Long time" running show.  It is aired in the USA, produced by Focus on the Family, as a radio show.  They have, however, compiled it into CD format.

It's "Adventures in Odyssey". 

We LOVE these stories! They are set in the fictional town of Odyssey, centred around the enterprises of John Avery Whittaker, known as "Whit".  There are key characters that are in nearly every episode - all very fun and amusing. Woven through it all is Biblical truth, paired up with brilliant story lines. Some of the story lines are more suited to older children, but most are appropriate for all ages.  Being produced by Christians, none of it is "dodgy", it's more that some stories may be beyond a small child's interest. Ones that are particularly good are the special discs that focus on character traits - friendship, loyalty, diligence, and so on. They only cost about £5 each.  Personally, I have enjoyed some of the "sagas", which are story lines that originally were spread out in between other episodes, but they have compiled them onto one set of discs.  The Blackguard Chronicles, The Green Ring Conspiracy, and the Novacom Saga are three of those.  They pack a "value for money" punch of over 5 hours of listening.  There prices vary, and are mostly over £20, but I think they are TOTALLY worth the spend, and the children listen over and over.  Those sets are more geared toward an older audience, but my younger ones have enjoyed them, as well.  The other super set is the "Bible Eyewitness" series. These have the listeners transported back into Bible Stories, via "The Imagination Station". The characters in the story get to live through some of the well known, and lesser known, Bible stories, and learn important truths on the way. My children have been able to tell me numerous obscure Bible facts from listening to this set!

Our new one for this journey is "Wish You Were Here", when the lovable characters of Eugene and Bernard take a road trip together.  Do you see the connection? See it? See it?

I'm clever, I am.

You can find many Adventures in Odyssey albums as digital downloads, though there are more available as Audio CDs. Like Patch the Pirate, having them available as audio downloads is a recent thing, and super handy in this day and age. The CDs are available in the UK, too, if that is your preference. If you want it on tape?.... you are living in the wrong century....

For those in the 21st Century, find out lots more about Odyssey over at www.whitsend.org.  Information about where to hear radio broadcasts of episodes, facts about the cast, and lots more fun stuff, can be found there. There is also a club you can subscribe to ($5 per month) that gives you access to much more.


Our final favourite is "Jonathan Park".

This is a favourite choice, for several reasons, which I will get to in a moment.

Jonathan Park is the young son of a Christian palaeontologist.  The story begins when they stumble upon an ancient cave with evidence that points towards creation truths.  The adventures go on from there, over ten series, so far.  There are hours worth of story time on each set, all with creation truths and science facts woven into the dramatic story lines.  They visit all four corners of the globe, finding creation evidence as they go. They cover everything from space, to dinosaurs, to "UFO" sightings. They even have actual scientists - real life ones - who are also believers, who chip in on the way through. I cannot express in words, just how much we have learned from these, whilst also listening to gripping and dramatic stories.  These are less favoured by my younger children, but they listen along if it's on. I, and the older children, have learnt a lot about God's created world, from a scientific perspective, through these brilliant stories.

Our most recent set is called "The Whispering Sphinx", and it weaves history, geography, archaeology and creation science together, in one big Egyptian based adventure. Having studied Egyptian history, fairly recently, I think we will love this one as much as the others.

Once again, Amazon is coming up trumps, and has them available both as digital downloads and
audio CDs.  You can also purchase them, in the UK, from the Answers in Genesis store.

Oh, how I love the age of digital downloads! In our little United Kingdom, when for SO long things have been hard to get a hold of, without exorbitant shipping and import charges, the digital age has made things so much more readily available.

Once again, more fascinating information can be found over at www.jonathanpark.com.

So, there you have it.  Our Top 3 Audio Adventure Series. They really are all well worth a listen in to the free samples, and purchasing for your family.  You children will have hours of good quality, and sound character based stories, which they will happily listen to over and over. Faith building, and firmly planted in God's Word - they are all excellent resources.

That's us set, then.  Over 11 hours of new stories to listen to, from these three titles, with other new ones that we have tucked away, too.   I hope you perhaps enjoy them as much as we have!

Children with character {It's "the way God made them"}

Yesterday, we had a lady from Church come to our home for Sunday dinner.

As we were getting dinner ready, Elijah, my four year old, came into the kitchen.  He started up a conversation with our friend, that went something like this.

"Tell me things that melt"

Simultaneously, two adult brains were working overtime, to think of things to tell this little man.

"Ice"

"Chocolate"

"Plastic - definitely when you put it near your gas stove...."

"Snow"

"Metal - although it depends on what type it is." (Verging on TMI for a four year old, there....)

Having, apparently, received satisfactory answers, he went on to his next question.

"Tell me things that die".

Welllllll....

This one he started to answer for himself.

"Well, flowers die -   and, some people die.  Animals die, too."

Our friend, who had Elijah in her arms, said "Where do you get all these big thoughts from?"

"God just made me this way", was his answer.

Truth.

My mind, today, went back through the memories of his life.  He was my VBAC baby. A precious gift after the transforming experience of an emergency c-section.  He was the child who I prayed over, and asked God to give me as a "fresh start" baby.  I knew if I had a VBAC I could carry on with further babies without that whole "ohhhhh, you had a section?" point of view from doctors.  Less pressure.  More "freedom" to receive blessings from God without the Spanish Inquisition. I researched so much about how to have the best delivery. How to be more in control of the experience of child birth.  How to wait on God for His timing for delivery, so I would be less likely to need intervention. More than anything else, I prayed that God's will would be done.  I knew, from the c-section delivery, that you can be ever so prepared, and God says "No, my child, THIS is the way it will go".  I prayed, and I prayed, about that delivery, and God answered my prayer.  I got my VBAC, and to top it all off, it was my best labour,up  to that point, too.

It wasn't long, however, before I realised that there's more to life than the "perfect" delivery.  a delivery lasts hours, but a baby is there all the time.  Elijah very quickly turned out to be my hardest baby to date.  He had, we think, silent reflux.  He didn't like to lie down.  He didn't sleep for long stretches.  He was high maintenance, in a big way.  In order to maintain sanity, I discovered "baby wearing".  It was the only way he was happy - upright. Up until that point, I was becoming a frazzled mess, when normally I am fairly chilled out. IT was hard work to carry a baby throughout the day, whilst still trying to do school, tidy, clean and prepare food. The Lord, in His mercy, still allowed me to find perspective.  I thought about the many others I may be able to share my story with - about researching labour, about trusting God, about my experiences with a grumpy baby.  God used this child to show me more of Himself.  Patience.  Unconditional love.  Gentleness.  Kindness.  Compassion.  Sympathy.

Slowly, but surely, he improved -  once he was sitting up more, and eating more solids.  Except, he wouldn't eat SOLIDS.  Liquids, yes, but anything with a tiny lump would get thrown back up. He was WAY over the age of one before he could tolerate "normal" food.  It was hard work.

Then I was pregnant again - and he was still not sleeping through the night.  We finally got that sorted, by just ignoring him crying in the night.  It was so hard, but my body needed sleep to grow our new baby, and to maintain the energy needed to look after my 6 children.

Older still, he grew, and he had his funny little ways.  He didn't like to be thrown in the air - right from when he was still young enough not to think about it being "scary".  He had obsessions about things.  Very particular about the way things needed to be done. Not very able to cope with things new and different.

Then came his drawing.  That boy LOVES to draw pictures, and, from a younger age than I remember the others doing so, he would draw for endless ages.  He still does, and I find copious numbers of  pictures everywhere.  Pictures, with half of the attempts scribbled out, because they aren't "right".

Of late, the deep thinking has come.  He asks questions, very often of a spiritual nature, and remembers the answers.

"Mummy, did you know God is IN THE ROOM? WE can't SEE Him, but he's here, you know"

"Mummy, when we do bad things it's the devil telling us to do them.  We need to listen to GOD, and do GOOD things.  We MUSTN'T listen to the devil, when he tells us to do bad things, you know."

All said with SUCH a serious expression, and great intensity, making me want to laugh and cry at the same moment.

THIS is Elijah.

The little boy who spoke the words "This is the way God made me".

I don't just have Elijah, though, of course.  I have seven other children.  Each of them unique.  Each of them so very special to us.  They have precious character traits that make them just who they are.

Tenderness.

Helpfulness.

Kindness.

Sincerity.

Humour.

Generosity.

Mischievousness.

Curiosity.

Determination.

Compassion.

Communicativeness.

Too much to list.  All incredibly special traits.

But, the truth of it all struck home, as he uttered those words.  Each of our children, with their traits that come to them as naturally as breathing, are who God made them to be.  No two of them the same - and trust me, having 8 children soon shows you the diversity of character.  A child's character traits, with all the challenges they bring, make them the unique person who they are.

It got me to thinking back to Elijah's whole "Life story".

As a parent, we receive a new born baby with such great pleasure.  As that child is placed into our arms, we have NO IDEA what their life is going to be like.  They are like tiny treasure chests, waiting to reveal the secret of what lies within. We watch and wait, as day by day we see them become just who God created them to be.  As a baby grows older and reaches that age where you see THEM, and not just baby, the story starts to unfold.  Little things they do, the way they do things, and the expressions their face displays.  The way they speak, the way they smile. What makes them laugh, what makes them cry. As they get older still, the things that interest them become apparent. Over, and over again, their individuality becomes clear.

Like Elijah, each child has traits that are not always easy for the parent.  I'm not talking about their little hearts that are born with sin.  That, of course, is the biggest challenge of parenting - training them in "the way they should go".  I'm talking about their character, which can bring challenges.  It brings challenges because it challenges US.  It challenges us, as parents, to nurture their character, and not fight it.  It challenges us to try and understand how their little heads and hearts operate, to better love and direct them as they grow.  It challenges us to move outside the comfort zone of what is "normal" to us, and see that it my not be "normal" for someone else.   It challenges us to embrace the "different", and to love it and appreciate it.

When Elijah was placed in my arms, I was filled with such joy and triumph.  I had achieved something, by God's grace and strength, which I had longed for, for so long. I was relieved, and elated.  Had I known then what kind of child he would be, my joy may not have been quite so full.  I'm so glad only God knows the future! But, with hindsight, I see how God has taught me so much through it all.  Not just through HIS life - although it seemed pivotal in many ways - but through the life of each child God has gifted us with. Each life, created in His image, to HIS glory.  Each life, with  personality that is God-given, and which holds SO much potential to be used to His glory.

Like treasure, we hold each child's character in our hands.  If you hold treasure, it's worthless  unless you see the potential in it, and do something with it.  Treasure that isn't invested, in some way, isn't treasure at all - it's just an object. Likewise, if we don't DO something with the traits that our children have, they are not worth so much.  We have to give them opportunities to develop those traits.  We need to invest them by placing them where they can grow and bring worth.  We need to direct them as to how to harness the potential and make it grow in a good way.  We need to look out for the ways it could make them stumble or struggle, and guide them in using their character wisely.  Each child, a little treasure, full of potential.

Above all else, we need to thank God for them - over, and over, and over.  What we see, as Elijah reminded me yesterday, is the way GOD made them.  When we read in the Bible that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made", that doesn't just mean our physical being.  It's every part of us - and it includes our minds, and how they work.  Those minds that incline us towards different strengths and weaknesses.  As hard as some days me be, as our children stretch the "muscles" of their personalities, and test us as they learn and grow in character, we need to give thanks "In every thing". Give thanks, and train them up in the way they should go.

Our children, all different - it's the way God made them.  Let's give thanks, and invest those treasures to the best of our ability.

Tots on a Tuesday {Walk, anyone?}

Today, I thought it would be a nice idea to go for a walk. It's getting all spring-like, and a walk gives a perfect opportunity to learn in an informal, fun way.  The sun had been shining since first thing this morning, and after a miserable day yesterday, a walk seemed like a nice plan.

Tots love to get out, and Mums love to get tots out.

We love it.  Honestly.

I mean, getting 6 of the children out for a walk is simple.  Simple, I say.

Hmmmmmmm.

"We're going for a walk - everyone come and get reaaaad-deeeeeeeee" was yelled up the stairs, in the hope that all ears would hear, and all feet would start moving in the right direction.

Hmmmmmmm.

So, I had to go up and find the youngest two, who were taking it in turns to turn on and off the tap in the bath.  As you do.

Reprimands issued, they were ushered downstairs, whilst poking my head around the door of the girls' room to tell the other 4 to come downstairs. (Josh wasn't coming, and Daniel was out with Daddy at B&Q).

At this point, they all start congregating, AT THE SAME TIME, in the hall.  All jostling and pushing over each other to find their shoes.  Which are all neatly lined up in the shoe cupboard.

NOT.

(Is my shoe cupboard SUPPOSED to be tidy??)

"MUUUUUUUM.  I CAN'T FIND MY SHOES!"

"Look in the cupboard".

"I DID"

"Did you look properly?"

"Yes"

"Really?  Like, "Mummy" properly?"

Mummy looks, and find shoes.  A repeat of my Sunday morning ritual, usually accompanied by me tossing hats, gloves, dirty socks, spoons, and other random items from in the shoe cupboard, over my shoulder, like a crazed person bailing out water from a sinking ship.  Yes, that's my Sunday morning routine.

It's not yours?

That's nice for you.

"Would someone get Tabitha more socks, and Simeon too?"

Asked again.

And again.

Apparently children doing jobs become temporarily deaf.

So, I go upstairs myself.  Said girl needing socks because apparently it's good to smear pancakes on them at lunch, by standing up in your high chair, on the pancake you've dropped there.

Simeon needs socks because, as tots randomly do, he keeps taking them off.

Why?

"They're "spicy" Mummy"....

What on EARTH are SPICY socks, anyway? I'm guessing that child has some sensory issue going on, but he can't go out in the freezing cold with no socks on.

I sit him on the stairs to put on the socks.

There's a HUGE hole in the bottom of the socks.  A good mother would go upstairs and get another pair.  A starting-to-get-frazzled Mum of 8 just figures it's better than no socks, and it'll be FINE.

I look up at him, and realise his t-shirt has the remnants of pancakes, syrup and ice-cream.

His coat will get zipped up, right? It'll be FINE.

"Where are Tabitha's shoes?", I yell.

"I can only find one - she had the other one earlier and I can't find it".

Great.  That would be the pair, slightly too small for her, that she ended up wearing on Sunday because I couldn't find the other one of the pair she SHOULD be wearing.

So, was I going to need to put an odd pair on!??!  Slippers?  An extra pair of socks?  All of this going on in my mind whilst I search every room in the house.  Behind the sofa.  In the kitchen.  All of the unlikely places a shoe would be, because one-year-olds don't leave things in obvious places, right? Under the dining room table I found one of the pair that DID fit.  Hmmmmmm.  Is this the one I COULD find on Sunday, or the OTHER one?  Back to the shoe cupboard, and I hoked through it again....where I found the OTHER one of the pair that FIT! Which beggars the question, was it there on Sunday all along, and I searched like a child instead of like a Mummy?....

Never mind, two shoes, and on they went.  Jumper on.  Cute baby.

"Can someone get the pram and baby carrier out of the mini-bus?"

"Erm, Mum, Dad went OUT in the mini-bus".

Of COURSE he did.

At this point, a Mum hits a moment.  It's that point where you decide whether you give up, or carry on.  You balance up all the pros and cons, and make a lightening speed decision, based on all the facts you can pull from your brain.  I had already put SO much effort in, I was determined, in a crazy Mummy kind of way, to carry on.  I was sure there was another baby sling somewhere, and Simeon could walk, albeit slowly.

I WAS GOING OUT.

This time I needed to hoke about in the coat cupboard.  The light doesn't work in there, and I swear Narnia is in the back of it somewhere.  It's that big. I stuck my arms in up to the neck, moving them about, blindly, feeling for what may be a sling.

Was that it? Nope, it's a bag.

Ooooh, ooooh - nope, a bag with yarn.  (They are ALL round my house - bags with yarn.  I have yarn issues)

Finally, KA-CHOW!

A sling!

Small people with coats and shoes on - check.

Middle sized people with shoes and....

"Abi - what ARE you wearing?  It doesn't really match, and you're wearing summer shoes.  You look completely home-schooled"  (What?  You don't say that to your children?  Did you know there was even a "home-schooled look".  Don't answer that.  Especially if you send your children to school.  I don't want to know....)

"Never mind - it kind of matches, and it will look better once your coat is zipped up..."

"Elijah and Susie, it's NOT the summer - will you put a coat on RIGHT NOW!"

That will be the Scottish blood in them.  But, they would certainly have been moaning fairly quickly without a coat.

Middle sized people with shoes and coats.

Right, my turn.  Boots.  Hoodie.  Scarf.  Coat.  Sli....

"MUUUUUUUUM!!!!" (punctuated with sobs)  "I fell over..." (now sitting on floor, pulling up trouser leg)  "and my leg huuuuuuuurts".  (revealing a tiny, imperceptible graze)

"Oh dear! I'm sure you'll be really brave.  It'll be fine....."

Moving swiftly on.  (I'm experienced - I know when a hurt needs a fuss, and when a small person needs to man up, in the most loving sense possible...)

Sling on.  Baby in sling.

Print-outs of "signs of spring".  Penc....

"Has anyone seen where all the PENCILS have gone?"...

Shouted out the door, like a fisher-woman.

So common.

A quick glance around finds them under the dining table (maybe I should start EVERY search there?), on the lounge floor, and on the kitchen counter.  Of course.  Isn't that where everyone keeps pencils?

And we were off!

We got as far as several doors down.  We found the first thing from our list to identify "sign of spring".

Oh the sweet moment, when your tot gets excited about SNOWDROPS!

"Mummy, mummy LOOK - it's the flowers from on the paper!"

Then we discovered some pussy willow.  Not on the list, but perfectly fuzzy, soft and stroke-able. OF course, needing to be stroked by them all. Cute.

Then, they heard birds singing, which is also on the list.

Did you know that they only sing in spring - it's on the sheet, so it must be right.

Right?....

I'm fairly certain it's a sign that it's daytime, but who am I but a humble mother?

Then we saw bulbs pushing up.  That was on the sheet - only the sheet specified bluebells, which apparently are some of the earliest to show up - if you live in a dell somewhere, in the woods.  Because bluebells don't really happen in gardens.  But, the picture just looked like bulbs pushing up, so then I had to tell them that they re a sign of spring, but not EXACTLY what was on the list.

OCD Mummy moment.

"But, I can just tick it off anyway, Mum, can't I?  It's a bulb!"

Sure, that's fine.

Why they didn't just have "bulbs" is anyone's guess...

Then we saw another sign of spring.  Two people doing something with a huuuuuge silver tube.

Sorry, not a sign of spring, a sign that children are about to be hugely distracted from the purpose of the walk.

"Mummy, what are they doing?"

Mummy, assessing the scene as quickly as possible, with her omniscient mind working overtime. (Because, as you know, in the eyes of a child, we know EVERYTHING.  No pressure, then...)

"Erm, I think they are putting a chimney liner in"

(Chimney cover was off, scaffolding was up, long thingy looked liked a liner....)

Aforementioned person doing the worked looks over and nods, smiling.

Phew.

Score.

"That one up there is a man, and the one down at the bottom is a woman"  says a small person, very loudly, whilst Mummy hopes she is right, and hasn't just offended a girly looking young man.  Mummy checks for herself, and sighs with relief, realising small person is right.

Phew.

10 minutes from home.  Only YARDS from home.  About 30 minutes after announcing departure.

Daddy drives into the street.

Pram gets retrieved.  Son joins the walk.  We make it out of the street.

It's lovely. Walking in a village.  Signs of spring all around.  Trying to keep small people from running onto the road.  Really relaxing.

Then, a tot sees something in the near distance.

"Mummy, a DOG - woof woof"

"Don't touch it unless you ask!"

Nice chat with villagers.  Awkward moment where they are talking to you like they know you, and you can't think how you know them.  Rapidly trying to remember who they are, whilst they talk to you, seeming to know all about you. (To be fair, family with 8 children is slightly more memorable than "woman with cute dog"....)  Thankfully, I remember, and conversation can become more intelligent. (PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one this happens to?!?) All the while, the children are stroking the lovely little dog, whilst the woman says "He has NEVER bitten anyone", as you hope it's not going to be famous last words, as your tot pulls its tail....

Crowning moment of the day, thus far.  Meeting someone you haven't seen for ages, and they ask "How do you manage to stay looking so YOUNG?"

In my mind, thinking, "you haven't seen my horrendous passport photo...."

Out loud, saying "you're SO kind....." whilst feeling totes awks.....

SHOULD I look older?

Maybe they actually think I'm, like, 52, and then looking 45 would be good?

Who knows...

It's kinda' like the "You don't LOOK like you've got 8 children", as someone said tonight, at the hairdresser, and I've heard SO many times before.  What does THAT look like?  The mother of 8?  Haggard?  Obese?  Stressed?  Grey?  Certifiably insane?

Who knows....

The walk turned out to be lovely.  No major incidents.  No loss of life.  No injuries.

Just lots of children, enjoying the outdoors, finding signs of spring.

(and looking JUST like her Grandma Cordle...)

"Mum, can you take a picture of me with these flowers", as child plunks down, on the wet, dirty grass, for a photo op...

Guess the skirt was going to need washing, anyway...

Oh, there WAS the moment when we walked along and a child asked

"Mummy, what's that building?"

"Ermmmm.... that's a SCHOOL."

"Oh!"

Seriously, I need to educate my children better....

Oops.

Then, we got back.

"Don't walk into the house with dirty shoes on!"

"Put your shoes and co..."

"In the cupboard.  Yes Mum, we know...."

And we were back.  Back from the walk.  It sounds so simple, right?

"Going for a walk".

Welcome to my world.

I vaguely remember the days when I would plan to do something, and immediately execute the plan with no complications.

But then, those were the days BEFORE children.

Would I want to leave these crazy moments behind, and go back to BC? - before children?

NO WAY!

I said to Robert just last night,  being a parent of small children is not always easy. Sometimes it makes you feel like pulling your hair out.  Sometimes it's downright CRAZY! Sometimes a lot of the time, there's mess. But, always - ALWAYS - it's a blessing.  The best things in life often involve effort and are filled with trying moments.  They are totally worth it.  Totally.  And, it will pass. OHHHHHHH too quickly.  It already is. Too, too fast.

I could have stayed at home.  I could have given up.  I could have abandoned my plan.  But, then I'd never do anything with my little ones.  Life simply takes effort, and I like it that way.  You need to embrace the crazy, and go with the flow.

It's like OUR walk, with Jesus.  We can start off the day, hoping to walk well.  We have great plans, but plans don't always work out in our spiritual life, any better than they do in physical life. Distractions come.  We face difficulties and trials. We trip up and fall.  We struggle to find what we need.  But, at the centre of it all is our Father, helping us.  And, just like my walk today, we need to determine to walk that walk anyway, fighting through the things that would try and pull us down or distract us. We know our walk will bring us blessing and joy.  It will bring us a fresh understanding of God, and His greatness, and His goodness. It will bring us a renewed sense of God's provision and patience. Always worth it.

Walk, anyone?....