Perspective {finding contentment}

So, this week I finally got back on here and told you that it was a time of new things for me. This week, one of those "new things" was a thing of pure joy, along with some lessons learned on the way.

Last week I decided that I needed to exercise more. I used to do a Davina DVD, but our DVD player isn't working in the lounge. I KNOW I will feel the benefit if I do it, but thought of lugging another TV downstairs, then finding somewhere to plug it, before even STARTING to exercise, has admittedly, put me off somewhat.

I know.

I am lazy.  I should put in some more effort and just DO it.

Whatever.

I decided, instead, to take a more leisurely adjustment back into bodily exercise (which, as we know, only profits a little.... *aherm*)

Walking at a fast pace is supposed to be a good workout, and far better for your knees than running. But, have you ever tried walking with a gaggle of small people. Half the time you spend walking at snail's pace. Another fraction is spent RUNNING after a child who is speeding away, hat on and hood up, oblivilous to your calls of impending danger. Then there are the multiple moments where you stop and observe things. Don't get me wrong - stopping and learning is BRILLIANT. I encourage 100%.  I just don't reccomend it as a pace of walking to induce weight loss or a cardiovascular workout of any consequence.

For years, this kind of walking has been my only way to walk.

Enter "the mid-teen-age" child, who is now responsible enough to be able to keep and eye on siblings.

You may hear my sigh of utter delight from across an ocean.

Dear mother-of-only-small-people. your day will come. Enjoy the days of only having little ones. At least endure it. Because, it doesn't last for ever, and one day you will realise that you and your husband can go out ALONE and leave the children behind for short times. BLISS, I say. PURE bliss.

The solution then hit me. I could go out for a walk every morning, at MY pace, with two children capable of keeping up with me. It would give them exercise, and me exercise. On the times we go out together, the others get their little bursts of exercise in sporadic moments of running, in between the snail pace of walking. Add to that the fact that they seem to literally bounce off the walls, run up and down the stairs, and generally burn off way more energy than me, even indoors on a winter's day.

Now, I live in a small village. I know, from experience, that the one pavemented route around the village is about a mile, maybe a little more. the village is only one circle-sort-of-shape, though. You can either go around it clockwise, or anti-clockwise. Not very inspiring for a would be regular walker.

I thought outside the box a little. I could walk OUT of the village in a few directions, then simply turn and walk back home. It would allow for some variation and take us in a new direction. It was also easier without small children or a pram, as one of those routes would require road walking, on a very quiet road. One day last week we took that route, and it was interesting to realise that road went up more of a hill than you notice when driving. It also gave us a lovely view of the village, and we spotted things we don't normally see.

The next walk took us to the furthest bounds of pavement out of the village in the opposite direction. It's the route we go usually once a year, to go blackberry picking. Again, a nice walk, but a "there and back again" scenario (suddenly feeling all Hobbit-ish.....) Whilst we were right at the end of the walk, by the village Church, one of the children noticed a public footpath sign, leading down through a field.

"What's down there, Mum?"

"Ummmmm, I don't know!"

Again, because it involved stiles, and gates, and fields, it wasn't somewhere I'd ever been with small children, prams etc. I kind of thought where it MIGHT lead, looking over into the other side of the village, but I wasn't completely sure. Public footpaths are fickle things.

I concluded that rather than trying it out that particular day, I would thrust my enquiry about good old Google, and see if I could find an OS map showing us the public footpaths near the village.

This I did.

And this is when an exciting revelation took place.

There were a number of public footpaths and bridleways around the village that I didn't know about!!! All of a sudden, potential walking routes were opened up to our horizon! One in particular captured my interest, and I determined that would be the next walk on our list.

The next day dawned, and once we had finished "morning time", it was break.  We rushed to don hats, gloves, scarves, and the welly boots we figured would be a necessary item of footwear.  Off we went, with just a "photographic memory" concept of where I needed to go.

It was a crisp, cold morning, with icy puddles all over the place. The first part of the walk was familiar to us, but then we crossed the road and headed up a lane that I had seen thousands of times, but never actually walked up. Shameful, given how close it is to my home!! We enjoyed observing all sorts of nature on our route, and easily followed the signs for the public footpath (given that road signs in the UK can be reliably unreliable, and tend to disappear just when you need them most, I was pleasantly surprised). At a couple of points, we could look back towards our village. But it was odd. It took us a few seconds to work out exactly where we looking at! It looked like a completely different village, observing it from a completely new angle! We found some landmarks and eventually worked out what we were looking at. When we eventually turned the corner to head back towards the village again, we saw things in the distance that we don't normally see, once again because we were simply looking at it from a new perspective.

That whole walk made me feel excited and refreshed about where we live. Now we could go for an interesting nature walk, seeing the seasons come and go and the different wildlife of our vicinity, just a dander from our home.

When we got back home, the neighbour was at the front of his house, and I chatted to him about my "discovery".

"Yes, that's where I walk my dog every day!"

Yikes! I felt like a bit of an idiot, as THAT is where all the dog walkers seem to go (I did often wonder, when I saw them walking up the road from the village, WHERE were they GOING?!) Not that we have seen a dog walker there the two days we have been so far.  To add to my enthusiasm, he then told me that there are a couple of other ways to vary the walk, and places to explore up there, including some woods.

Maybe this is not something that floats your boat, but it made me think of something that we ALL need in life.

It got me thinking about how perspective is SO important in all that we do. It's especially easy for mums to become bogged down by the mundane. Doing the same old same old, as a matter of routine. It's not that we don't have joy in doing it, but it's just "the same" all the time. But when we take the time to step back from all that we do, and look at it through fresh eyes, and from a different angle, we find new joy and enthusiasm for what we are doing.  A new perspective leads to CONTENTMENT.

Maybe you need to stop and look at your life from a third world perspective? Our "needs and wants" - those things we feel are lacking in our life by way of "stuff", suddenly seems less important if we consider how truly wealthy we are. We have so much in life that we often try and find ways to simplify and declutter, when those in other lands live a life of joy with SO much less. Contentment with what we already have.

Maybe we need to look at our life from the perspective of someone with ill health. Someone who struggles to do the things with their children or family that we can do without a second thought? Someone who has to say "no" repeatedly to their children, when they want to do something that is just beyond the bounds of their physical capabilities? Suddenly, the small inconveniences of activities that wear us out, or we're fed  up being asked to do, we are thankful that we can even accomplish at all?  Contentment that we can do what we do.

Maybe you need to look at your home school life from the perspective of someone who doesn't even have the liberty TO home school, or even get to school at all. There are still countries in the world where it is illegal to home educate, or else there are very strict rules about the "dos and don'ts". (Brits, be thankful you don't even live in some US states, where it's for more regulated than here!) Don't lose the joy you should have in keeping your children with you at home. Change things about a little, or add something new into your daily routine. Think back to your reasons for choosing to home school, and get a fresh joy for the opportunity you have. Contentment with the opportunities that we have.

Maybe you need to look at your Church life from a persecuted Church perspective? The World Watch List from Open Doors,  tells of the countries where there is most persecution for being a Christian - 11 are severe, another 21 very high, and another 10 are high. Believers in some of these lands can't even tell their CHILDREN of their new found faith in Christ, because the risk of them being taken away, or killed, if they told someone else, is simply too high. THEIR OWN CHILDREN. Can you imagine that? Maybe you can be doing more to teach your own family about the Lord. Maybe you can get more involved in your own Church, and find a way to reach out to those in your own community.  Contentment with the freedoms we have.

Maybe you're looking back over on your life, after things going a route you didn't expect? Sometimes it can be hard to see  things exactly the way they really are. Perhaps you need to just step back and see God's hand, and that He is always there. Nothing has changed. Perhaps you need to dig into God's Word and find precious truths that remind you about who God is - see how you are to live and why. Then you are just seeing it all from the perspective of God and His perfect Word. Contentment with our circumstances.

You see, changing your perspective will lead to contentment. A fresh look at your life will allow you to see that God is good, you are blessed, and you have SO much to be thankful for!

Whatever it is in your life that you feel is mundane or tedious, try just stepping back and finding a fresh way to look at it. You may be pleasantly surprised to find the renewed joy that you will have by gaining a fresh perspective, and the contentment that comes hand in hand with that joy!

I am certainly looking forward to stepping out and exploring more of the local countryside, all the while being thankful for so much in my life that enables me to do that at all.

Perspective {from frustration to fulfilment}

As I log into Blogger to write this post, my eye is scanning down the list of most recently published posts, and I inwardly groan.

ONE post in May?

REALLY?

I thought that once I was feeling better, after having had Ezekiel, I'd be back to my normal blogging schedule, and sharing with the world again. But no. I have failed dismally.

Or have I?

Well, if I want to look at it from the point of view of blogging to reach out to others, yes, I may have "failed".

Perspective.

THAT is the key word for me.

We had a visiting preacher at our Annual Service of Thanksgiving, last weekend. His sermon on the Saturday was all about perspective. He was particularly emphasising that THANKFULNESS is all about perspective. If we look at our circumstances from the wrong perspective, we will not be a thankful people. Change your perspective, and you will find something to be thankful for.

I think one of the keys to having a correct perspective is all about change. We need to move to the right position in order  to gain the right perspective. We need to be willing to move from wherever we are, in our thoughts an attitudes, and get to the right "place".

It's a bit like when I am walking along, all adult size, and I see something and yell to the children "did you see THAT?"

There ensues a cacophony of

"I can't SEE it"

"Where, WHERE?"

"MUUUUUUUM, I can't SEEEEEEEE it"

Then, I help them to adjust their stance, in order to see what I can see. Maybe I lift them onto my shoulders, or gently re-position them a couple of inches one way or another, to get a better perspective on what I am viewing.

THEN, we  get a different response.

"Oh YES Mum - I see it now!"

"Wow, yes"

From frustration to fulfilment.

That's where perspective brings us. Perspective brings us from a place where can easily become frustrated and disheartened, to a place where we are fulfilled by God's goodness and mercy, because we are seeing things how GOD wants us to see them. The Lord lifts us up on his shoulders, like the good shepherd lifted that wandering lamb, and brings us to a place where we can see His goodness.

It's like that old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side". Someone seems to have life better than you do. If you change your perspective, you may see your grass longer, or that you have more grass, or that you have someone to help you look after your grass, and they don't, or that your grass is getting greener, but it's just slow. Perspective.

There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. There is ALWAYS a better way to view our circumstances. There is ALWAYS a reason to rejoice.

But, we must be willing to move away from the position we are in, and see things from a different perspective.

Effort.

A teachable spirit.

Joy and contentment.

It's all needed to gain perspective.

Have I been quiet on here? Yes.

Am I failing to keep up with writing blog posts, or, if I gently nudge my perspective, am I busy looking after a precious, but slightly high maintenance baby, who will grow up soooooo fast, that I shouldn't feel bad for spending time caring for him?

Perspective shifted.

Frustration gone.

Fulfilment found.

Blokus {game review}

(this post contains affiliate links)

I have been intending, for a looooong time, to share with you about some of our favourite games around here.

We are a family who LOVES games, and I am sure there are other families out there like us - always looking out for new games to enjoy!

I am going to start with our most recent addition - one that we got for Susie for her birthday.  Susie is one of our children who especially loves games - particularly ones involving logic and strategy. She's very much like me, in that sense.

She's very much like me in many ways, but that is another story.

Susie was 9 this week. NINE. (We differ in age - definitely - add another nearly THIRTY years to mine... yikes) Last year of single digits. And yet, she seems so much older than that in many ways.

Again, another story.

Back to games.

I asked her what she would like for her birthday, and she thought she'd love a new game. I researched a few options, and she liked the look of this one.

Good choice, Susie. Good choice!

It wasn't one I was at all familiar with, but the rating on Amazon was fab, and it looked like our kind of "thing".

So, what is it?

Blokus

I'm guessing the pronunciation is block-us - as in trying to block?

The game consists of:

- a special playing board - a grid with ridges you can place tiles in. (You couldn't play it without the board.)

- 4 sets of coloured, clear tiles, of various shapes, made up of squares.

- an instruction booklet

It's a simple game with one simple "move" - place your tile on the board touching ONLY at a corner with another of your tiles. It sounds simple, but the further into the game you go, the harder it gets! You can have your tile touch the edge of a different coloured tile, but not of the same colour.

That's it.

Simple!

You can play with 2 to 4 players. Rule play is slightly different with 2, 3 or 4 players. If there are only two of you, you have two sets of coloured tiles each, with a set order of play, rotating through the colours. If there are three of you, you split the third colour (red), but we played it without doing that, and it still worked.

Best, and most challenging play, is with 4 players.

For all the games I review, I am going to give you a list of Pros and Cons. I will also tell you why we loved it, or not!

So, why we love it! It's different every time you play. There is a compelling desire to get your pieces down and fit them in SOMEWHERE. You end up sitting and saying "I must be able to get this down?"  As you play it more you realise certain pieces are harder to place further through the game, but because it varies each time you play, sometimes you end up placing tricky pieces further through the game, even when you couldn't another time. I guess you could say we love it because of the endless possibilities?  We also love it because any child who understands the basic rule could play it. We haven't tried yet (because every time we've played the older children have all been wanting to play!), but I even think my nearly 6 year old could play, although the box says 8+.

PROS - bright; fun; engaging; challenging

CONS - lots of pieces that could potentially go "Missing", and the game wouldn't be so good without them all there; no bag to keep the game pieces in once you take it out the box

This is us playing with three. As you can see, the pieces only touch at the corners of the same colour.

This is the birthday girl playing. Smiling Susie.

This is us playing again in the evening, with 4 players. You can see here that pieces are now touching along the edge of OTHER colours, but not of the same colour. 

I find the game rather therapeutic and pretty. Lots of coloured pieces, fitting together neatly. This, from the lady who loves sorting newly sharpened pencils, by colour. 

Another couple of great points. It's not overly expensive. I wouldn't say it's a cheap option, but it's certainly not extortionate. It's currently just under £18 with Amazon Prime.

Another plus is, that, although it is only 4 player, you could easily turn it into a "tournament" type game play, with knock out rounds leading to a grand final. That way, everyone gets to play, but the best players get to have an equally challenging opponent for the final. Win-win! (because we all know that it can be a little frustrating playing with a younger child who hasn't got quite the same strategy and logic skills!...)

So, there we have it!  Blokus - a fab game for all the family, that's easy to learn and simple to play. What's not to like?

(I'm thinking I may come back and do a star rating for various aspects of each game I review, but that's too much for my sleep deprived, Mummy brain right now.)

If you have played this before, please share what YOU think, in the comments! 

Sorry I've not been around much {here's why...}

You may have noticed, my posts have been thin on the ground.

I REALLY must learn to have a stash of posts handy, to share in times such as these.

So, where have I been??

Right here. And pretty much nowhere else.






Any of you who have been following my blog for a while, may have guessed that for themselves!!! In previous pregnancies, my blog posting has always decreased. It's rather hard just to eat, clean and breathe, without also blogging.

But, I am now just over 15 weeks pregnant, and turning a corner. It's a wide, sweeping bend, more than a 90 degree corner, mind you.  But, it's a turn, nonetheless.

The nausea is nearly gone, but tiredness is still there. Not helped by the children having whooping cough, amongst other traumas and challenges.

But, I AM improving! YAY!

My brain is now thinking about blog posts I want to write, and getting excited to start back with sharing what God is teaching me. I have missed blogging - it's a creative outlet for me, and focusses my mind upon the things of Christ.

I'm due February the 6th, which will be my first proper winter baby! All my others have been spring or autumn.

After what happened with my last pregnancy, these weeks are not quite like they were before. I have to remember to be thankful for each day, and that God is in control, and His ways are perfect. I know everything was OK, but I am reminded, quite regularly, that things don't always go how we think they will.

My main thought needs to be that of Psalm 139:14

"I will PRAISE THEE".

God is creating this tiny person, growing inside me. How can I do anything but PRAISE Him?

What are you praising God for today? His mercies are new every morning.

A key to surviving large family life {training children to help in the home}

I must start this post with a caveat. I am not finished my parenting journey, and I am not perfect. I don't have all the answers. I only ever share what MY experience is, which may help someone else.

There. I've said it. Glad to get that off my chest first.

As I type, my 12 year old is making dinner. I didn't force her. She's not doing it under coercion, but willingly. She's dong it to be a help to me.

I love her.

One of the most common questions I have about having a large family is "Isn't it a lot of work? How do you cope?"

My answer is simple.

They all pull together to help.

In the immortal words of Bob the Builder "Working together, we get the job done"!

Now, the very important key to all of this is simple.

My children didn't just naturally incline themselves to doing jobs.  No siree. I can unequivocally tell you that it doesn't come naturally. Admittedly, some children have a natural bent towards being more helpful, but it's certainly not consistent, and generally only if THEY feel like it. And, let's face it, most of the time jobs need to be done when we DON'T feel like it. Right?

That said, the key is TRAINING.

My role, as a mother, is train up my children. If they aren't going to do something naturally, then I need to teach them HOW to do it.

I have chatted to people, in times past, about the children doing jobs.

"My children don't help like that! How DO you do it?"

Well, folks, if you don't expect them to do it, and you don't train them to do it, it ain't likely they WILL do it. Simple.

I'm not some super-mother who has magical powers like a modern day Mary Poppins. (I wish)  I am a tired out, often impatient, yet persistent mother, who tries very hard to TRAIN her children how to do jobs around the house. I don't always succeed as I would like, but I try.  It's not easy, let me tell you. It requires effort from ME, first and foremost, but it's totally worth it.

So, two things I will quickly deal with.

WHY?

and

HOW?


Why do we train our children to help in the home?

1) God is a God of order.

I know that family life can be messy, and it comes with the territory of having lots of people around. As I tell the children, if each of them leaves just FIVE things lying around, that's FORTY things lying around. It quickly multiplies into chaos! Having things around which show you are living in the house, doesn't mean we never try to do anything about it. God didn't create this earth in chaos. He designed it with order, with everything in its place. One process follows on from another in order for life to continue. If one part is knocked out of place, by an external factor, chaos ensues. Isn't that the same in our homes?? If we want to follow God's design for His creation, we should try and have order in our homes, for them to function well.

2) We need to be good stewards

In the Bible we read about the parable of the faithful steward.  We need to be those who care for the things that God has given to us. I don't want my children growing up thinking they can leave things lying about all over the house, to be stood on, squished and destroyed. If things are put away, and tidied up, they will be looked after far more carefully.  Children need to learn that things have a value, and have to be earned. It's one of the reason why we don't shower our children with "things" for no reason. They either receive them for a special occasion, or they EARN them. If they don't learn as children, they will become adults who don't care for their things. God generously gives us all we have, we need to train them to be thankful and look after those things.

3) Learning not to be lazy

Training children to tidy up, from a young age, is teaching them a good work ethic.  The book of Proverbs tells us to look to the ant, and learn no to be lazy. In all labour, there is profit. We gain, in some way, shape, or form, from anything we work hard at. Not being lazy, with tidying and chores, teaches them that a tidier house is easy to maintain.  It teaches them that they can have free time once a job is done. It teaches them that it's satisfying and rewarding to see a job done to completion. It teaches them that working hard is a blessing to others. Being lazy only brings trouble. And lazy children become lazy adults, all too often, and then they bring that into the workplace. That results in unreliable employment, once others find out you are lazy.  We are training our children to be reliable adults, by teaching and training them to help in the home.

4) It makes our home a welcoming environment

I once visited a home, a long while ago, and it was SOOOOO messy. I knew the people, and they just didn't care for their appearance or their home. I couldn't relax in there. It was dirty, messy and disorderly. (Admittedly, I also find houses that are ULTRA tidy not to be relaxing! It doesn't feel like a home to me, but that's just a personal thing. At least they are working hard to keep it tidy.)

The thing is, we should be folks who desire to create a welcoming environment to others. If our homes are a royal mess, people won't feel welcomed. It gives the message that you don't care enough about others to even ATTEMPT to tidy for them. And I am talking people who you arrange to come and visit - not the "drop ins". They have to just take you as they find you!!! As I already said, a house with lots of people can get crazy and messy by just LIVING there! But, if you know people are coming, you show you care by creating a welcoming place for them. If you have lots of children, you are training them to be welcoming hosts, and to consider others, by training them to help in the home.

One of the incidents that made a HUGE impact upon me, as a young mother, was when we visited a home of a large family. Their daughter was one of the eldest children. We were eating breakfast with them before heading on an onward journey. The daughter and the mother stood to the side of the room and SERVED us at breakfast. I assume they either ate before us, in the kitchen, or after we left, but they put the effort in to do everything they could for us. It was BLISS!!! It really made an impact and taught me the importance of training our children to have the desire to serve others, and make them feel welcome. Order, not chaos. Helpful, not a hindrance.


5) As a testimony.

We are being watched.  As God's people, others look on to see how we are behaving, and how we live. When we have a life filled with disorder, people see, and whether we like it or not, may judge us. Now, if they happen to drop in one day and we have been clearing our toy cupboards, and it's a mess, then that's understandable mess. If they judge us for that, it's their own problem. Or, if we genuinely are struggling with ill health or the struggles of having lots of little children who can't help so much, that's a situation where people should extend grace.  But, if we never seem to care about the chaos that is around us, it's not a good testimony. We tell the world that other things are more important than caring for our belongings, and the home we live in. Good stewards should care for their homes, and all that God has given them, and be a testimony as faithful servants of Christ.


So, HOW do we train our children?

1) All of our children have a DOMINION. I remember watch the Duggars, and I think they had a "jurisdiction". That made a lot of sense to me! It teaches the children to take responsibility for an area in the home, and they are then solely accountable for its care and tidiness. I don't give the little ones a dominion, because it's quite a big job, but all of my oldest 3 have one, and the fourth has an area she is mostly responsible for. So, 7 and up, I've done it. I taught them what needed to be done in that area. That's a key thing. I TAUGHT THEM. They needed direction to know what TIDY meant!  Then, I have to CHECK on them! I look to see if they have done all they should, and get them to sort out anything they have missed. They do it on a Saturday, and in the week, everyone helps sorts out those areas that are theirs, as spot tidying. The deep cleaning and tidying is their dominion, though. It works for us, and could be done, on a smaller scale, with younger children. Their dominion could be one area of a room, or one element of a bigger job. But, the two key factors in that are teaching them and watching them!

2)  Tidying up generally

I know some people have chore charts for different times of the day, but we work it slightly differently. After breakfast, the oldest 4 have a job to do. Emptying the dishwasher, clearing up after breakfast, sweeping up the kitchen, and taking out the recycling. (Does everyone else have so MUCH recycling??? It's CRAYYYY-ZEEEEE) It means that the kitchen area gets a good tidy up in the morning, to start off the day. After the other meals they all just pull together to get the tidying up done. Lunch time clear up is still a bit rusty, so I need to work at that. Dinner time, Daddy is usually here and he allocates jobs when we are done. Usually one of them has set the table, so they get lighter duties after dinner, to keep it fair. One clears, one stacks the dishwasher, one clears up anything to go in the fridge or the bin, and someone else wipes up. Many hands make light work!

3) End of the day

I try very hard to get a few areas tidy before Daddy gets home. Depending on the season of life, it's not always as I would like it, but we TRY! The hall and the lounge are the places we try and get tidied up, because we know he feels more relaxed if those areas are tidy. Some days it's not quite done, but he quickly sets to giving them jobs to get it finished up. We end up with a scurrying hoard of children, putting things back where they belong.

4) Trying to make tidying fun

There are a few things we throw into the mix, every now and again, to try and make tidying fun! Yes, FUN! It works better with the little ones, who are more green behind the ears. Aherm.

First, we do speed tidying. We will stop what we are doing and do as much as we can in 5 minutes. I find it's important to set them achievable tasks, then they feel like they have accomplished great things. Then, we do the "tidy ten things". They have to go and pick up ten things and put them back where they belong. We also do paring, when I get jobs and pair the children up to do them as a team. I will often give a reward for the pair who do the best job. I will pair a younger with an older, which works best. Sometimes we do it with their names on lollipop sticks, and sometimes I will just write it on a piece of paper. I have done it when our friends visit, too, and they enjoy the novelty of tidying with someone "new"!

I also find that the little ones like to tidy groups  of things. So, I will get a child to find all the cars, or all the play animals, or things that are blue. They enjoy the challenge of that!

Of course, they also have to learn that tidying can't ALWAYS be fun! Sometimes we have to do things in life, just because they need to be done. It's as simple as that.

And, I don't know about you, but i often have children saying "But, Mum, *I* didn't make the mess".

To which I reply....

"Welcome to my world, dear"

Many jobs in the world are to do with sorting out other people's "messes"! I was a physio, and a lot of the time people were suffering from a "mess" they got THEMSELVES into!

This, however, is one of the most important lessons I teach the children about working in the home.....

We do it because we are all part of the same family - the same team.  Whatever way you want to look at it, we pull together to make family life work. There are times when, as the leader, I can't do things as I would like. It's not child cruelty to enlist the help of the children more than normal. It's LIFE! It's FAMILY! If I can raise children to be willing to help others, where they see a need, I think that will be a job well done. It's all about learning to be selfless and pro-active. Seeing a need and meeting it in any way we can. Right now, I often have to tell them how to do that. However, more and more, they are starting to see for themselves, and offer to be helpful. Years ago, life like that was NORMAL.  Nowadays, children have a life of ease, with everything handed to them on a plate, and I really think the parents don't do them ANY favours, to train them to be takers, and not givers.

One last thing.  How would I like to IMPROVE things?!? There's ALWAYS room for improvement, right??

Firstly, I want to DECLUTTER!!! WE have wayyyyyy too much stuff. Having a lot of children can lead to a major issue. People want to buy them something for each Christmas and birthday, when you already have all the things bought for the previous children. They don't NEED anything else!!! I am starting to get inventive about gifts, and last Christmas most family members willingly clubbed together so I could buy each child one significant gift that we couldn't afford otherwise. Something really special and higher quality. That worked really well, and the children appreciated their special gifts. But, we still have loads! I figured that adding to things we already had would help. It did, and it didn't. We now have a LOT of Playmobil, Duplo and Lego, but it makes such a mess when they play with it, and tends to "migrate". I don't want to get rid of it all, but I think I will cut back.

Secondly, I want to be more consistent. A lot of the time when the tidying doesn't happen, it's MY fault for not implementing it more diligently. Children are little sinners. I am a big sinner. Our hearts are all inclined to self, and sometimes self has to be sacrificed in order for jobs to get done - PROPERLY! I also don't check properly after they say they have done, to make sure it's MY kind of done. Subsequently they end up off doing their own things, saying the job is done, then I have the HARDER task of getting them to come BACK to the job, to do it properly. Argh.

Thirdly, I need to train them better about being thorough. One of my children was asked to tidy up after making dinner today. The child very kindly and willingly made pizza for the children, from scratch. When it was cooking I asked that everything be put away, as that is what I do whilst dinner is cooking. I use the cooking time to clear up. The said child THOUGHT they put everything away. The next thing we knew, there was passata ALL over the counter, splattered everywhere, like some kind of tomato blood bath! Thankfully, the child realised their error, saw the humour in it, and cleared it up brilliantly. But, he was reminded that if you do a job properly in the first place, you won't have extra work to do later!

I must also clarify that these things don't always happen in our home without blips. It gets in a mess, regularly. I have to go around, like a sergeant major, getting them to do it. I sometimes despair. I sometimes feel like doing it all myself. If I do THAT, they will never learn. It would be majorly counter-productive! I'm also telling you what works for ME! It's not set in stone. It's not the law of the Medes and Persians which cannot be altered. I'm just trying to do my best, in an imperfect world, and hoping that something that we do, or why we do it, may help someone else on their way.

Above all else, we try and remember that we do "all to the glory of God". Not for our own self satisfaction, but because we want to bring honour and glory to HIM! Yes, that includes tidying the house.

So, on that note, I'm off to finish off tidying the bits that the children missed, so we don't start the day behind tomorrow.

{The Return of.....} Matriarchs on a Monday - Shallum's Daughters

Yes, a New Year, and "New" things. Many moons ago, I was working through the lessons I was learning from the women of the Bible.  I got somewhat discouraged that those Monday posts, which blessed me so richly, seemed to be read by so few. I was considering what I wanted for The Joyful Keeper, for 2015, and I decided that returning to something like this was never going to be a bad thing! Yes, it may get fewer "hits" than some other topics, but I trust they are a blessing to those who DO read it.

I looked back to where I had finished, and decided to pick back up with some "nameless" women in the book of Nehemiah.  Shallum's Daughters.

Thinking about this title, put upon these young ladies, made me smile.  I grew up with my Dad as my Pastor.  He preached around many Churches, at home and abroad, and was known by many.  When I would visit other Churches, I would often be introduced, or introduce myself as "David Cassells' Daughter".  Sometimes  often I would grow weary of this title.  I would get an "Ahhhh!", from that introduction, but had I just said "Caroline", it would have meant nothing.  Funnily, I minded less, and in fact it was a novelty for quite some time, to become known as "Robert Cordle's Wife", instead.  I do still find myself being introduced as the daughter of my father, even at the age of 37!

Like me, these girls are only titled by their relationship with their father - these daughters are never given individual names.  They are simply "Shallum's Daughters".

We don't know how many there were.

We don't know how old they were.

We only know this.

"And next unto him repaired Shallum the son of Halohesh, the ruler of the half part of Jerusalem, he and his daughters."

Nehemiah 3:12

We know their father was Shallum.

We know he was a ruler, in an important position.

We know he had at least two daughters.

By inference, given it was the norm for sons to help with physical labour, he had no sons.

It would be very easy to skim read over this passage, as it is a list of all those who helped to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, alongside Nehemiah. You know how we all pore very carefully over lists in the Bible - taking in every detail, and absorbing every fact.

No?

Bible lists are hard work, but they often hold gems of truth, worth considering.  God's Word is exactly that - GOD'S.  It's all profitable.


So, what lessons can we learn from this family?

I was thinking about the backdrop of this passage.  It's the wonderful account of Nehemiah - the King's cup bearer - who returned to Jerusalem to rebuild the walls. He and Ezra were the two men instrumental in this all taking place.  He journeyed back, surveyed the walls that had been torn down, and he set to work.  Due to the nation falling away from God, He had allowed the Babylonians to swoop in and destroy the land.  Families had been torn apart - just think of Daniel and his three friends - land destroyed, and cities decimated.  Jerusalem, their main city - that treasured place, where the temple was - had been pulled down.  The strong walls, that had seemed to be so secure, had been pulled down, and the gates taken off. Nehemiah was heading up the work, and had called on people to help.  Enter Shallum, and his daughters.

I think about the walls that are torn down, and I think of my spiritual life.  When we turn away from God, He will often allow us to fall into hard times - the walls of our life can be pulled down by unwise choices.  We can end up surrounded by a life that is in spiritual ruins, if we are not careful in where we place our confidence.  Our confidence should be in God alone.  If our life becomes one of ruination, we CAN rebuild.  There is always mercy and forgiveness to be found in Christ.  Those people of old needed to simply repent, and begin the work.  Likewise, we need to simply repent of the bad choices we have made, and get to work.  God has created us with the ability to make choices, and it is as equally within our power to make the RIGHT choices, to rebuild our life, and make it one which we own for God's glory, or to make the WRONG ones, which tear us down. We can all rebuild, by God's grace and help, just like Nehemiah, the many men, and the DAUGHTERS, too! We, as Daughters of the Heavenly King - THE ruler of the New Jerusalem, awaiting us in the future - can rebuild our lives, that have been torn down by our bad choices. It doesn't matter what our past has been affected by - it doesn't matter how bad we feel we have fallen - our lives can be rebuilt.

"for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption."

Psalm 130:7

We need to take a good hard look at ourselves, seeing if there are any "walls" in our life that are broken down, and get to repairing them, by God's grace and enabling.  What better time to start, than in the New Year?

The next lesson is one for families.  I TOTALLY love that this is a scene of a family pulling together.  As parents, it's our job to make sure we involve all our family - male or female - in whatever we do for the Lord.  Remember, ALL that we do is for God, and in ALL that we do, we can involve the whole family! The family is the first and highest calling that God has given us - they are our Kingdom work! Get them stuck in, alongside you, in whatever you do in the Church.  If you neglect them, in favour of something "more important", they may grow up resentful and rebellious.  If you get them involved - let them see the importance of reaching out to those in need, evangelising the lost, or even, like Shallum, the nitty gritty of physical jobs needing to be done in the Church life p they will grow up seeing the blessing of working for God! I am not sure whether those girls were physically BUILDING the walls - we simply don't know - but they could have been mixing mortar, carrying things to the workers, bringing refreshments.  It's all speculation and conjecture to try and specify, but we know they were there, and WORKING! Families - get involved in God's work TOGETHER!  If you are  single woman - get involved! If you are a mother, encourage your daughters to get involved.  Working for the Lord is NEVER in vain.

The final thing I thought of was the fact that single young woman can be involved in Church work - FULL STOP (PERIOD!).  I think, somehow, it can be perceived that because so much of the early church details were about the work that men were to do, as the spiritual leaders, the role of women was somehow obsolete.  Single young women, who don't have the responsibilities of being a wife and, more especially a mother, can do much to help. Sunday Schools, toddler groups, youth work, outreach, evangelism, nursing homes, catering, and practical jobs to be done in a Church building, can all be done by a woman.  Anything, in fact, that is not specifically outlined as a role for only men! We see, many times, that women are mentioned as part of the early Church.  In the sight of God, men and woman are spiritual equals. As individual members of the Body of Christ, we are all God's children, with equal responsibility to get involved in Church life.  Both men and women, in the early Church, gathered together, praying, learning, and evangelising. Young women, GET INVOLVED IN YOUR CHURCH! Don't just sit there enjoying the ministry -  think about what you can do to help, and get on with it! Once you are married, and more especially if you are blessed with children, there will be things you simply can't do any more, because, rightly so, your children will become your main ministry.  Work in every way you can, while you can.  We don't hear talk of the wives working, because their job was at home, but his daughters were there, "getting their hands dirty".  I was involved in various different Church activities, in my single days.  I am so glad that I did, because they were such a blessing, and a help to me as I now seek to minister in my own home, and whatever ways I can in our own Church and community.

It doesn't matter who you are, or what your status is - Shallum was most probably a man of some wealth and status - you can repair the walls in your life, and you can train up your daughters (AND, your sons) to get involved in the Lord's Work.

Family photos {a day of memories}

Yesterday I had a very trying day.

Yesterday I had a very wonderful day.

Are the two mutually exclusive?

Let me explain.

Every year we send a Christmas card with a photo of the children on it.  It's a nice way for people to see how the children are growing up, and have record of how they look at that age and stage.

Some years I attempt it on my own.

That's, erm, fun.

Some years I have some others to try and make them smile.

That's also fun.

Some years, my incredibly kind brother-in-law has done it, with the help of my awesome sister.

This year, my awesome sister did it, using her incredibly kind husband's equipment!

Eight children.

One photo.

That's the aim.

Yes, well.....

However, for all this to happen, I need to travel, with all 8 children, about an hour and 45 minutes away.  My parents also live nearby, so they offered to feed and water us for the day, as the awesome sister is getting work done in  her house. (Rather you than me, sis - but it will look amazing when it's done!)

We set off, about when I planned to.

Clothes for photo shoot.  Check.

PJs for coming home at night.  Check.

Changing bag.  Check.

Children dressed in suitable clothing..... ummmmmm

I got a gorgeous hooded top, given to Tabitha for her birthday.  So snuggly.  So warm.  Co incredibly cute.  Great for car journeys...

Off we toddled, and all was going swimmingly well, until we hit the M1.  Signs telling me "Major delays after Junction 12".  Well, considering we get on at 13, it wasn't boding well.

I phoned aforementioned awesome sister, and she told me that there had been an accident further down, and I reprogrammed the SatNav (GPS) to avoid the M1.

Well, it avoided it for a little while, then tried to get me back on too soon, resulting in more back roads than we had already experienced.

Then more back roads.

All the time, Tabitha in her cosy jumper.

She started to get moany - she does that, in the car.

Next  thing, Daniel announces "Mum, Tabitha has just had a big vom".

Seems Tabitha gets car sick, when too warm in the car.

So, that added some extra time onto the journey.

Trying to clean her up with a cold, biting wind whipping into the bus, was interesting, with all the other children saying "I'm cold, Mum"!

EVENTUALLY, after a THREE hour journey, we arrived.

It was so lovely to see my parents, my sister and my nieces.  One of the best moments was when my parents told me they LIKED my new glasses.  Given the mixed response I have had elsewhere, that meant a lot.

We ate lunch, then hurried off for the photos to be done.

As my sister finished setting up, I asked an older sibling to take care of Tabitha, whilst I got others ready for the pictures.

Next thing, she fell over and bashed her head - BIG TIME - on some stocks.

Yes, some stocks.

Not the scented, floral variety (yes, there are flowers called stocks)...

The type used to keep prisoners from running off.

(Doesn't every Church's Sunday School room have them?.... I'm going to just leave that there without explanation, because it is quite funny to think of that being there, as if they torture their Sunday School students... bwahahaha)

Large, purple bump on her head.  Terrific.

(Awesome sister says she can edit it out, because she's awesome, don'tcha know?)

Well, we had fun.  Some children posed beautifully.  Some posed hilariously.  Getting the group shot was almost impossible, as Tabitha didn't want to sit still. Then there are the children who keep looking away, or looking at me instead of the camera (oops....).  We did our best, and my awesome sister is working her magic on a finished product.

Then, I went to see the work being done at my sister's house, which is lovely, because now I can "see" it in my mind, instead of just imagining what's happening.

Back to my parents for dinner, and a chat.

The day ended with me helping my Mum, by drying up the dishes.  Seemingly mundane, I guess?

However, as I was thinking about my day, with it's trials, and challenges, this "mundane" made me smile.

I used to dry up the dishes a lot when I was a girl.  You remember the days, before dishwashers? It was, more often than not, a time to chat, and often have fun with siblings.  I may be remembering with rose tinted spectacles, and perhaps we bickered, too.  My memories, today, were happy ones.

It was also precious just to talk, in person, with my Mum. To share recent experiences, and to talk about my children, and how they are growing up.  The challenges of parenting.  Our memories of years gone by.

From start, to finish, it was a day all about family.  Travelling to see family. Family who are generous with their time, efforts, gifts, and homes. Family who God has given me to care for.  Family who, when I got home, had done painting in my utility room, and bathrooms, so that they look super duper. Family who my children got to see in old photos, and giggle at, and exclaim how alike they were to themselves, with great excitement.

Family.

Family is a gift.  It's a treasure to be valued and appreciated. I wish I lived closer to my family.  My parents and sister, with her husband and girls, live the closest, and my brothers are over the sea, with their wives, and my nephews. None of them are close, really.  Especially when you have the journey I had yesterday!

Yet, it was so worth it.  So worth it for the moments where I laughed with my sister at my posing 4 year old.  Worth it for seeing my oldest child chat so happily with  his Grandpa.  Worth it see Tabitha giggle when she did Eskimo Kisses with Grandpa.  Worth it to chat with my Mum, in her kitchen like old times.  Worth it to eat a dinner I didn't have to make myself.  Worth it to relive memories when looking at old photos.

Just, worth it, because family IS worth it.

God gave us family.  Right in the beginning, when He saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone, the concept of family began, and it was good.  Two become one, which, if God sees fit, can become three, or more.  Generations are added, and parents become grandparents.  Such wonderful blessing.

Of course, when God established this family unit, they stayed close to each other, in a community sense.  They were able to support and encourage each other in a tangible way.  As the world has become a smaller place, this has shattered.  So few families remain in a close proximity with all their near relatives.  We have phones, FaceTime and Skype, of course, but nothing can replicate actual, physical time together.  It's precious.  It's uplifting.  It's a joy.

Now, as I look back on my day yesterday, I can see that what I am doing as a mother, today, is forging the kind of thoughts, in my children's minds, that I am thinking.  The little things, like singing in the car, laughing along with them at Adventures in Odyssey, or chuckling with them at old photos, are the memories THEY will have as an adult.  Going to visit grandparents.  Having an Aunt willing to spend time taking photos of them, and making them laugh.  They are all memory makers.

Maybe you don't have such happy  family memories.  Well, make sure YOU are making good ones for your children RIGHT NOW! It doesn't have to be big things.  Just the little things are forging happy memories of tomorrow.

As their Mum, I need to put in the effort today, to make the memories of tomorrow.  It doesn't have to be spectacular things - the simple things, like chatting whilst you wash dishes, can be  memory maker. They make memories which remind us of what a blessing our family is, and we can acknowledge God's grace in goodness in giving us to each other.

I truly hope, in the future, our children will look back and think the same.

In the meantime, I will look forward to having the photos to remind me of my wonderful day.

(As well as the ones taken by me, and, well, the picture says it all....)

 

(I did not have any hand in the making of that ^^^^  - self confession all the way)

Faithfulness {every night}

Another "working" week has come and gone.

I know, I know, us mothers don't have a "working week".  It's sun up, to sun down, every day of the year.

In this house, though, there is a little pressure lifted off, as school has finished for the weekend.  Yes, there are still jobs for me to do, but the added strain of school is lifted.

I'll not lie.

I love to homeschool, but I love Friday nights.

I'm about to iron for a little while, as I do every Friday night.  Then I will relax. Internally, and externally.  It's a chance for a "breather", when I can unwind, and the pace changes.

This evening, my mind has been drawn to God's faithfulness.

My lovely friend, Menekse (Men-eck-sha, in case you are wondering.....), has just started up a home business, making hand made items, in particular fabric art to hang on the wall.  (Shameless plug coming up ..... find her at The Primrose Parasol, on Etsy, or on Facebook)  When she opened her Etsy shop the other week, after giving sneak peeks of the upcoming products, my eye was drawn to THIS beauty.

THIS is one of my all time favourite verses.  I'll not get into the many reasons why, right now, but suffice to say, I have MUCH to be thankful for, and I try to do so every day.

The next verse, though, is so important, too.

"To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night".

Thankfulness stems from two crucial things.

God's lovingkindness, and His faithfulness.

Without those two elements, I have NOTHING to be thankful for at all.

Without it, I am lost, and hopeless.

The Psalmist also says

"Because thy lovingkindness is BETTER THAN LIFE, my lips shall praise thee".

My life is FILLED with wonderful things, all graciously given from God.  

Filled.

No matter what testing and trials I am going through (and, trust me, I have them), I have so much in my life for which I can be thankful.

Think of it.

Think of all the wonderful things you have, right now.

It will take you some time.

Now, think that God's lovingkindness is BETTER than that.

His love.  His kindness.  It's better than any of those wonderful things for which we are thankful.

How can we do anything BUT praise Him, and return thanks to the Giver of every good and perfect gift?

Now see how that verse tells us we should begin and end our day?

We don't begin with a sigh, as we have to get up, yet again, from beautiful sleep, to attend to our daily responsibilities.

No, we start by shewing forth His lovingkindness.

Not "think", or "breathe a silent thank-you", for it - SHEW FORTH! Let everyone around us KNOW we are thankful for His lovingkindness, in the way we greet the day, and greet them.  Our lives should be ones that reflect our gratitude. 

How should we end?

With a head hitting the pillow, thankful once again for sleep, awaiting us, and a "I'm so glad THAT day is over"?

No, we end with expressing appreciation for His faithfulness, every night.

Not forgetting it -  but being thankful for it, and saying so.

I am guilty of forgetting.  I remember to say thank-you through the day, and forget to end it well, with acknowledgement of God's faithfulness.

Oh, how faithful!

Faithfulness encompasses God's security, stability, steadiness, truth and trustworthiness.

At the end of the day, we can raise our Ebenezer - "Hitherto hath  the Lord helped me".

No matter what happens, GOD IS FAITHFUL.

I can't worry about the "what ifs" of my testing situations, I need to just trust that God is, and will be, faithful.  Ending the day with that thought chases away any doubt, fear and anxiety. 

Focus on the thankfulness.

So, today, I look at so much around me, and I am thankful.  

Thankful for God's lovingkindness and faithfulness, which then gives me SO much for which to be thankful, right here, right now.

Thankful for my crazy children, making funny faces to their Uncle, a token of God's faithfulness in giving them life, health, wonderful personalities.

The faithfulness of God in the salvation of Bethany, and her realisation that she needed to share that with others.

God's faithfulness in gifting me with a wonderful husband, whom He gives great leadership, grace and love, to bless me with as his wife.

My precious girls, who God has faithfully given to us, to bring joy into our lives. 

God's faithfulness in giving me strength to deal with my two most challenging children, so far!  Such joy, along with the challenges!

God's faithfulness in giving life to this precious, growing girl, when we thought that her life was gone.

A recently rediscovered photo, reminding me of God' faithfulness as He placed me in a loving, kind, supportive and wonderful family, as I grew up, who all love and serve the Lord where He has placed them,

(Photo August '05)

Every morning....

Every night....

Thankfulness.

Lovingkindness.

Faithfulness.

Tots on a Tuesday {stopping, to enjoy the moment}

A few weeks ago, we had a lovely walk together, picking blackberries and enjoying the swiftly retreating warm days.

As always, I picked up my iPod.

It's become my "thing" - rushing about, making sure I pick up my iPod, to take pictures of whichever moments I want to capture.

Madly storing images of my tots, as they rapidly grow up, almost before my very eyes.

That day, as we were returning home, we stopped in a little "park", and there were ga-ZILLIONS of ladybirds all over a bench. The children had them crawling all over their arms, and the older ones were teaching the younger ones all about them.

I scrabbled about in the top of the pram for my iPod, only to get the spinning circle of doom.

My battery was dead.

WAH!

In that moment, I had a realisation.

All these moments I am trying to take pictures, I am MISSING the moment.

I know these moments are precious, and it's nice to think we can look back at them.  At the same time, we don't even know if we HAVE a future.  We only have the RIGHT NOW.

Having thought about this, I have been reaching for my iPod far less.  Instead, I look at my tots (because, let's face it, these little ones are the ones who have more of those endearing moments!!), and savour the moment. The very moment that God has given, right here, right now.

I'm not dismissing taking photographs. I still LOVE taking pictures.  And, if anything happened to my precious family, I would treasure any photos I had....

I am dismissing the mad, crazy, obsession with taking pictures, over savouring the special moments that God has GIFTED me with.

Stopping what I am doing.

Finding joy in the every day kind of things.

New things they do.

Funny things they say.

Cute faces they make.

Capturing, yes.

Forgetting to stop and savour, no.

I am taking the time to thank God for the moment I find myself in.

Loving it.

Living it.

Rejoicing in it.

Put your photographic device down, and find joy in the moment.

The "Musical" Mother {bringing harmony to the home}

Have you ever been to listen to an orchestra play?  I have had the privilege of being to several live concerts, including ones at The Barbican and the Royal Albert Hall, in London.  They were all amazing experiences, and I would love to go again.  At the Royal Albert Hall, we were on a limited budget, so we sat in the choir stalls. It meant that we ended up sitting BEHIND the percussion section, which was AMAZING! We got to see them perform, REALLY close up, and heard the music in a totally different way - and with a totally unique view!

What we also got to see, with more detail, was the conductor.  In essence, we got to see an "orchestra's eye view" of what he was doing. One of the pieces was conducted by the composer - Karl Jenkins! It was pretty amazing to not only hear a piece, but to see the composer, too.

Have you ever PLAYED in an orchestra?

THAT is a totally different experience. I used to play the violin. NOT very well, but well enough to make the cut to enter the school orchestra. I also went on a music camp, once, where I got to play with a better bunch. I loved playing as part of a group.  What I quickly came to realise was the importance of the conductor, and how much of a difference it made to the orchestra, when the conductor changed.  We had two different music teachers who would conduct, and they were both quite different in how they did it.  A piece of music could change change quite markedly, depending on which one of our crazy, but lovely, music teachers was taking the lead.  To the untrained eye, ANYONE could be the conductor.  The reality is quite the opposite. It's not just someone waving a "stick" around, whilst people merrily play their "part" in the orchestra.

I'm no expert, but as a teen I had a friend who trained at music school to be a conductor.  My friend and I went to watch his final exam, and we were told all about what it all entailed.  You need to know the piece of music inside out.  You need to understand how the composer wanted it played.  You need to know how each instrument plays, and what the musician is capable of. You need to have a complete understanding of the whole package. It's no simple task.  Yet, it's VITAL.  If an orchestra attempted to play the music without a conductor - no-one to lead - it would just end up being "noise", not music! They would play at different paces, at different volumes, and it would sound bad at best, horrendous at worst. (On a side note, our school orchestra was pretty awful, despite frantic and frustrating efforts of our conductor! - I can still hear the Radetsky March being played woefully, in my head!)

One day, I took my children through a local town, and there was a play area. It had big "stepping stone" type things, which if you stepped on them, played a kind of whistled "note".  They realised it was musical, and all hopped on one and jumped up and down.  A whole rabble of noise ensued, with the children quickly saying "What are these FOR Mum?  They don't even play a tune!"

Mother, with her musical background, begged to differ.

I lined them up on a "stone" each, and directed who should hop when. After a few practices, this is what we got...

For those foreigners who are not familiar with this, it's called "The Westminster Chimes".  You may have heard it on a clock, and it's what plays on the chimes at The Palace of Westminster, in London (Big Ben plays the chimes for the hour).

When the children realised what we had re-created they were so pleased with themselves! They also thought I was very clever for noticing. ( I love my children!)

Life as a mother is so very like this.  Each of our children makes a different "note" in our family.  Their strengths, weaknesses and personalities can sound just fine on their own, but sometimes when they all get together, it can become an inharmonious jumble.

It's our job as a mother to create harmony in the home. To prevent squabbles.  To help children work together happily, instead of bickering. To encourage children to work on their strengths and eliminate weaknesses. Helping them to have good attitudes, instead of sour ones.  Many, many things that will help bring harmony.

First of all, I need to make sure I understand what "music" I want them to play.  What does God's Word say about how we should all live, and how they should behave?  I need to fully understand that, before anything else can happen.  He is the ultimate "composer", and we all need to follow His lead, and have a life that sings out in harmony with the "tune" of His perfect will.

Then, I need to understand my "Instruments" and how they are "played".  Each child has a unique personality.  They may have traits that are not sinful on their own, but need to be honed to prevent a tendency towards sin. They may simply have personalities that need shaping, encouragement, or guidance, in order to be their best, and have a harmonious relationship within the family.  If I don't know my children properly, I could provoke to wrath, and encourage the wrong traits, if I don't take the time to get to know them properly. If you understand each child's limits and capabilities, you can make sure you don't push them out of their comfort zone, but gently encourage them to improve and develop.

Then, there needs to be opportunity to "practice".  Spending time together as a family, in order to work on areas of weakness.  Maybe a couple of "instruments" need time to practice together? You can't just throw a load of instruments together and hope they'll "perform" at the right moments, without practising first! So, if you want children to behave when you are out, they FIRST need to behave at home!

We can help each "instrument" shine, whilst still blending with all the others. Bring out their best.

I KNOW we need more harmony in my home.  I need to be a better conductor, and by God's grace, work on make my family "sound" beautiful, and not a noisy "racket"!