Resolutions, or not?....

We are in a New Year, and 2013 stretches before me, with anticipation and desire for all things good and new.  There is so much potential in the concept of a new year.  Leaving behind the year that is past.  Learning from all that has gone on in the days that have flown into eternity, and stretching out your arms, in expectation of what lies ahead.

Then comes the big question.

Do I make New Year's Resolutions, or don't I?

What is a resolution, anyway?

The online dictionary says...

"A firm decision to do or not to do something."

So, what's so special and significant about the concept of a New Year's resolution.  Why all the pressure and guilt when they don't work out?  I have to say, in the past, when I have decided to do something (New Year, or not...) I have a tendency to feel quite down if I don't complete what I started, or didn't do it as well as I had hoped.

When you get down to the nitty gritty of it, a resolution is a good thing.  Really, we should make resolutions every day!  If it's a firm decision to do something, then I make resolutions to make dinner every most days.  I make resolutions to get dressed in the morning.  To go to Church every Lord's day.  To love my family.

Why, then, do many seem averse to "making" New Year's resolutions?  Is it because they think they will only do it for a week?  Perhaps, because they think they won't do it very well?  Or, because they think that others will mock them for trying?  Or, be criticised for not doing as good a job as they planned to?

But, in my opinion, none of those matter.  If something is important enough for you to make a firm decision to do, then you should at least TRY to do it.  To not even attempt it, because you think you may fail, is rather defeatist!

So, in order to wisely make any resolution, no matter when you start, I think several things need to be borne in mind.

Firstly, is it worth attempting at all? - If something is worth trying, then you should.  Is it worth TRYING to learn to bake?  If you think it is, then, resolve to do it.

Secondly, is it worth starting, even if you don't finish it when you hoped to? - So, if you want to make a resolution to decorate your entire house in 6 months, and you think it's achievable, then give it a whirl.

Thirdly, is it worth starting, even if it is NEVER going to get finished?  You decided to start a new curriculum, but it turns out not to suit you half way through the year.  It was at least worth attempting, even if you decide it's not for you.

I think, also, you have to have decided beforehand that it's achievable, in at least some measure.  If it's completely beyond your capabilities and resources, you may be setting yourself up for failure, and that would make you feel worse!

Maybe another issue is the title you give your resolution.  For some reason, if you say you have made goals or plans, then it sounds more acceptable!

"I have a goal to lose some weight"

"I am planning to do more gardening"

"I plan not to sleep in past 8am" (chance would be a fine thing.....)


Tagging on that it is a "New Year's" resolution, adds some kind of ticking time bomb, of pressure and success.


Doubtless, New Year seems to be a natural time to think about doing something new.  Yes, it's just "another day", on the grand scheme of life, but I am all for using a good excuse to get something done!  So, if beginning a new year means you think about projects you need to start, great!


So, am I making any resolutions?

Erm, I'm going to try....

I want to get back into my routine of rising earlier.  It is such a blessing to get my day started well, and it's worth getting back to doing it. Am I flexible enough to acknowledge it may not always work? Yup.

I want to spend more one-to-one time with my oldest 2.  Will I do it every week?  Probably not.  But, to at least try to have a short time alone with them on the odd evening is achievable.

I want to work on some projects with Robert.  What are they? Time will tell.... But, I plan to set aside specific time every week to work on it.

I want to do more sewing.  THAT is totally dependant on getting one or other of my 2 machines into working order.  I have to decide where to put my money into that goal, and then it may be workable.

I want to work more on character training with my children.  I have some books that I want to work through, and THAT one being accomplished is dependant upon me doing some major planning and implementation.  That's the shaky one.  But, I AM going to try.

Maybe, then, I need to plan on doing more planning?!?

Hmmmm

Plus, I want to write more notes and letters to people.  That one also requires more planning from me, and being more disciplined with my time.

So, there we have it.  My thoughts on New Year's resolutions.

How about you?  Have you got any goals or aspirations for this year? We would love to hear about them, so don't be afraid to share your pearls of wisdom in the comments below, or post a link to your own blog post!

A godly generation - part 3

I have had a bit of a break since I had my first 2 posts on this subject.  I saw that I had started to jot down some more thoughts, but hadn't got around to finishing it off.  So, here we go on the last points!


7.  GUARD THEM FROM UNGODLY INFLUENCES

I think this is sooooooo important.  And, they don't always come from the places you would expect!

We got rid of our TV license when Joshua was young.  It was as much to do with what I was tempted to watch, as much as anything else.  However, it became increasingly obvious that there were so many issues, even in CHILDREN'S programmes, that I wanted to avoid.  We do still watch DVD's, but even with those, I am getting increasingly fussy, and chucking things away.  We got a recent Disney DVD.  The princess and the Frog.  Don't buy it! A lot of Disney is fairly harmless, but I was seriously unimpressed with this addition.  It has VOODOO in it, and talks of "going over to the dark side".  A lot of Disney has a very clear "good over evil" storyline, and is purely fantasy.  (I will not get into the debate about fairy tales right now....)  But, this was too close to the real dangers of Satanic influence, which is a reality in life.

So, as I say, I am more particular these days!  I prefer factual programmes (it's been a bit "cold turkey" for certain children, who prefer the story type DVD's!), but have story type ones as well.  Stories like "The Railway Children" or "Swallows and Amazons" (very British, I know!) are nice.  I like Little Women.  But, do you know what, I found, even with that, that I have to emphasise to the children what the Bible teaches on certain subjects that are not reinforced in a movie like that! (ie, Jo being very independent, and being unsatisfied with being a girl!....)  I see no harm in them watching them, as they are being taught clearly enough, from God's Word, what the right way is to live.

I am very careful about reading material.  I think carefully about whether something is profitable for them to be reading, and at best it should actually reinforce our Christian beliefs.  A lot of the classics are much better than the modern rubbish that is being published.  There are some lovely Christian books for children.

The "Moody Family" series, by Sarah Maxwell, is a lovely set of books.  Sarah Maxwell is the daughter of Steve and Terri Maxwell who run Titus 2  Ministries.

I love the books by Janette Oke, and she has a series for children as does Beverly Lewis.  Beverly Lewis has some GORGEOUS picture books, that teach character to chidlren.

These make a beautiful gift, or a family treasure!

Elizabeth George also has lovely picture books, teaching Godly character.

Another set of books, which appealed more to my son, is called Building on the Rock.  They are a devotional set of books, which teach Biblical truth based around true stories from history. They are really interesting,  and exciting!

Choose books that will build them up in God's truths, so that the become a natural part of their lives.  You need to reinforce, not tear down, the truths you are trying to instil in the lives our your children.

Now, for a big one. We have to be wise what company they keep.  This is one that divides Christians.  Personally, I do not guard my children from the ungodly influences of school, only to have them go and play with all the neighbourhood children, the moment THEY get out of school!  I will NOT have them go and play alone, in the home of an unbelieving family.  It has been given to ME to raise my children and to protect them from the evils of this world.  How can I protect these precious "saplings", if I leave them with ungodly families??  I can't.  That's the simple answer.  I don't keep them at home all the time (erm, although in the last few weeks, we have hardly been out at all....couldn't face the energy required, and busy packing to move...lol) - they meet all sorts of peole as we are out and about.  Old people, young people, and everything in between.  But, they are under my guidance and protection.  I can tell you, from experience, that I had some very ungodly influences in my younger days, visiting the homes of the unconverted.  But, because I ENJOYED some of the things I was experiencing, I wouldn't have told my parents for fear of not being allowed back!! I distinctly remember the bad influence some children had upon my life.  I am NOT saying that the children of Christian families are perfect.  I have my OWN children to see that quite clearly! However, I at least know that we, as parents, are trying to teach our children in the right ways!

We just have to be so wise, as parents, and seek to do what is right before the Lord, to raise our children as a godly generation.


8.  TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WHY YOU HAVE THE RULES IN YOUR HOME

This is one that was suggested to me by a dear friend.  She told me that they had a lot of "dos and don'ts" growing up, but had NO idea why she was to do or not do those things.  I know that a child learning to obey without question is very important.  They need to be trained to obey without feeling they need a reason to do so.  HOWEVER, if you have ground rules, it is vitally important for your children to understand where those rules come from.

First and foremost, we must first of all make sure that the rules we DO have are based upon God's Word.  We need to have scriptural authority for all that we choose to be the ground rules in out home.  There are numerous places where you can find scriptural references for family rules.

Some of the resources that I have found to be valuable...

I mentioned here about the book by Clay and Sally Clarkson "Our 24 family ways".  This devotional seeks to go through 24 "rules" of their home, explaining from the scriptures why these are good attributes to apply in our lives.  It's the perfect way to have family guidelines and ALSO teach your children WHY you do it!

The Duggar's have a great list of the "Operational definitions of character qualities" - in other words, how do we put into action various attributes, such as being truthful, obedient, honest, etc, etc, as well as what the opposite behaviour would be, along with scripture basis.  It's a GREAT list, and you can find it here.

There is nothing worse that constantly telling a child to do something, simply, "because I say so"! They need to do know WE are guided by God's Word, as we guide and teach them.  Otherwise they will never understand that we are training them to ultimately please GOD, first and foremost, and not us!  If they understand that our authority is GOD, then it puts a whole different perspective upon their instruction.


9.  PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY SOME MORE!

I think, to finish off, that this must be our watchword - "PRAY"!!! We are nothing without the aid and assistance of the Holy spirit.  We need to plead, every day, for His help, strength, wisdom, grace and humility.  raising our children for His glory, is a hard task, and which needs to be watered with prayer.  Ultimately, we cannot save our children.  We cannot do the convicting work of the Holy Spirit.  We are, however, His instruments - His tools - His workers.  We are doing a great work for Him, which will be used to speak to their souls, and for them to see their need of a Saviour.  We cannot be lax or remiss in this huge, but incredibly important, role.

Pray as we start the day - that we would be guided by His Word, in all we say and do in our family.

Pray as we open our mouths to speak to others - that our words would be wise, grounding, encouraging, and gentle.

Pray as we make decisions - that they would be governed by God's Word, and God's wisdom - not our own.

Pray as we train and discipline - that we would not be governed by anger - rather that we would be firm, yet gentle in how we deal with our family.

Pray for forgiveness - we can never be perfect, and we need to have the humility to see that and seek forgiveness firstly from our Heavenly Father, ad from those who we have wronged.  

Pray at the end of the day - that the Lord would use our labours for good - to the saving of their precious souls, and to build up those who already belong to Him.

My prayer is that we all honour the Lord in our dealings with our children, in order to raise a godly generation for Him.


Now, these are just my tuppeny worth on the subject, and  I am sure there will be many other things that I will forget, or don't mention.  PLEASE feel free to chime in, in the comments section, or blog about it yourself, linking in with this post, in order to share your views.