Showing posts with label imperfection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label imperfection. Show all posts

Friday, 9 January 2015

The Imperfect Mother {what God uses}

Do you ever have a day when you look at yourself, as a mother - as a woman - and see only the sin and failure.

Who am I kidding?

That needs to be...

We ALL have days when we look at ourselves as mothers - as women - and see only the sin and failure.

As sinners, by nature, we are acutely aware of our imperfections.  They are glaringly obvious, or they certainly should be.  They should be, if we use the mirror of God's Word to gaze upon our own soul.  Reading scripture, and seeing what God requires of us, shows us our inadequacies, and faults - plenty of them.

Day by day, we battle with our sinful natures.  Children can bring out the best, and the worst, in our personalities.  They bring challenges, almost every moment, that test our sanctification.

Then, some days, we read God's Word, and it can bring an inner sigh of reassurance and blessing.  When you read a truth and you could cry from the grace it brings to your soul.

Matthew 1 did that for me today.

Listed, in that genealogy, are four women.  We often think of them as simply women, named in a genealogy.

Many of you will know that it was highly unusual to list WOMEN in a genealogy.  These lists are usually the place for naming men - the progenitors of a family - the lineage of a particular person.

Matthew 1 is wonderfully special.  It's the genealogy of the family that bore our Saviour - the earthly family for our Heavenly Brother.  The family that God chose, from the beginning of time, to bear our Redeemer,  and, referred to,  in that family line is not just ONE woman, but FOUR.

Tamar.

Rahab.

Ruth.

Bath-Sheba.

Not just women.  MOTHERS.

Four mothers, who all had a "past".  Four women, chosen by GOD, for the special purpose of being matriarchs in the family line of Jesus - Saviour.

Tamar, the deceiver, who disguised herself as a prostitute to trick Judah into bearing her a child.

Rahab, the prostitute, who had a reputation known to a whole city.

Ruth, a foreigner, from a nation who served a false god, and who should never have married into God's people at all, according to His laws.

Bath-Sheba, the woman taken by David, to serve his own lusts.

All women who must have felt shame in their pasts.  Women who could look upon their lives with sadness and regrets.  Some are worse than others, but none of them were perfect.

How many of us look at our lives and see, with shame, things which we would rather forget?  Things that hold sadness and sorrow?  Choices we have made.  Family we are born into, far from perfect.
Situations we find ourselves in, that we may not have chosen, yet bring us a sense of shame.

How many of us STILL look, day by day, at things we battle, and struggles we wade through.  How many of us acutely feel the weight of inadequacies, and sigh inwardly at our constant stumbling?

Yet.

God uses the imperfect.  He CHOOSES to use us.  Weak.  Weary.  Sinful.  Far from perfect.

He has chosen us to be His - to be used to further His kingdom - to be part of HIS lineage, in an eternal kingdom.

He has chosen us to be mothers, too, just like these women. They all bore children who God used to lead to the Saviour.  It should be our earnest desire that OUR children would also be used to extend His Kingdom. That we, some day, can lead THEM to the Saviour, and they, in turn, can lead others to Christ.

When we look at our imperfections, we can remember how God used these ladies, of centuries past.  We can remember, that, by God's grace and mercy, He can also use US, to His glory.  No matter how much of a "past" you have, God can use you to build a future.  What we can do for God isn't dependant upon where we have come from.  It's not dependant upon what we have done, where we have been, or the choices we made in days gone by.  It's dependant upon God's grace, and what HE can do with us, when we are part of His lineage - His family.








Monday, 1 December 2014

God's way, the high way {making beauty, from the mess}

Today was the day.

The day I had been busily planning for, for weeks.

Today was December the first.  The day we would start our month of giving. All of our fun activities.

Our giving.

Our focussing on the Saviour.

The greatest Gift of all.

It wasn't quite the day I had planned.

We all slept in, then the children had jobs to do, then I had jobs to do.

Before I knew it, it was only 30 minutes until lunch.  I wanted, desperately, to start well, so we read our scripture, and we read our "Giving" challenge for today.  We were planning to make a gift for some family we are visiting.

We also planned to sort the clothes from last season, to get stored away, and thin out what we had, to give to charity, when we put them away in boxes.  It was a job we planned to begin today, but knew it wouldn't get finished until Wednesday. That was fine.  The boys brought it all to the dining room, and the girls sorted it out.  Success!

I planned to read Jotham's Journey in the evening, before bed.  I had it all organised, in my mind. My mother-in-law also gave us an Advent Candle, that we planned to light whilst we read.

The afternoon held a trip out to the shops.  I needed some craft supplies for our home-ed group on Thursday, and we needed to pick up some new shirts for the boys, for our photo session tomorrow.  As with all plans involving a trip out with eight children, it never takes as little time as you expect.  ALWAYS more.  We had a lovely wander around The Range, but it just took longer than I planned.  By the time we got home, it was almost time for dinner, so the craft didn't get started.

Dinner, clear up, messing around, and FINALLY we began the craft activity, whilst I read Jotham's Journey.

Candle lit, reading started - then began the interruptions.

Children asking for help with the craft, little ones getting tired and cranky, and me not being very patient.  Then I noticed the time, when my patient husband phoned, wondering when he should come home to eat.... it was 8pm!

So, Jotham was paused , and I told them we would read extra tomorrow.

Then came teeth brushing, children crying and having accidents, and finally, bed.

It was not the way I planned it.  There had been tears, tantrums, impatience, and a complete deviation from things being the way I hoped.

It was messy.

It was imperfect.

It was REAL.

Yet, there was still beauty at the end of it all.  We had still learnt of God, and His plan for salvation.  We had thought upon giving and generosity.  Seeds were sown in their hearts.

We had created gifts, that I KNOW the recipients will love, because they were created by children, longing to love others.

There was mess, and plans which didn't work, but beauty came, in spite of my plans failing.

It pointed me to my Saviour.

It pointed me to a truth I read, just this morning.

"Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD,he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. 
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. 
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:7-9


Our lives our ruined by sin.  All our ways are nothing, because the imperfection of sin taints them.  No matter how hard we try, we will fail.  We are sinners by nature, and our heart is inclined toward sin and self.

Yet, God has mercy.  He ABUNDANTLY pardons. He makes beauty, out of our mess.

Why?

Because His thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours, in that place that forgives, despite what our puny minds can understand. It's not dependant on our perfection, but upon His greatness, mercy and grace.

Despite our messy, broken days, we can start again the next day, back on track, because He abundantly pardons.  We turn from our sins, turn our back on what we have done - on the mess, the failings, and the imperfections - and start over again, through His ways, higher than ours. Through His mercy.

Oh, how thankful I am, that despite the mess I can make, and the days, spiritually, which don't turn out how I planned, God's ways are higher.