Revive Your Marriage - revive your attitude

It's Monday again, so a new theme in Revive Your Marriage.  Today, it's reviving our attitudes.

First off, here is their challenge for this week.

Attitude accounts for SO much in a marriage, as well as every other aspect of life! You hear it said about the "power of a positive attitude", and, it's TRUE!  If we have our mind, and the behaviour that flows from it, in the right place, then we are on to a winner.

So, what would be my suggestions for reviving your attitude?

I think that something that is a "killer" in a marriage, is comparing.

Comparing your husband to someone else's husband.  It can be a dangerous thing to do, because it can lead to jealousy.

Comparing your husband to what you THINK would be the ideal.

Comparing your husband to what the WORLD says is ideal.

Comparing your husband to book's, magazine's and the media's "perfect man".

Comparison is NOT good.  WHY?  It breeds discontent.  It plants the seed of "He's not perfect", which can grow into the small seedling of "I could have something better", which can so easily lead to the full blown fruit of "I don't want what I've got".  And, then we have BIG problems.

Your husband is the husband that God deigned for you to have.  More often than not, YOU chose him! It's not like we are living in a culture with arranged marriages.  True, we often don't know each other as well as we thought we did.  We find "imperfections" and "faults" aplenty.  However, when we start to see these flaws in the light of what we perceive to be something better elsewhere, or displayed by the  husband of another, we can become jaded and unhappy.

The way to deal with starting to think of our husband as "not good enough", is two-fold.

Firstly, and most importantly, as we considered last week - PRAY.  Take these issues to the Lord, and plead with Him about them.  God ALWAYS answers prayer.  It may be "yes", it may be "no", it may be "wait".  Sometimes the wait takes a long time.  We may have started to think it's a "no".  But, by continued prayer, and dealing with things in a Biblical way, the answer may yet come.

Secondly, start to look at the good points.  Be a "glass half full" gal, rather than a "glass half empty".  Try and encourage and be thankful to your husband for the many wonderful things that we DO see.

Instead of wishing he could do DIY like some other guy, be glad that he is great at helping look after the children for you.

Instead of wishing he was more of an intellect, be glad that he can fix anything that gets broken around the home.

Instead of wishing he was able to spend more time with you and the children, be glad he has a job that provides for your needs and the money to live a life that is not one of complete poverty.

Instead of wishing he buys you flowers more often, be glad he helps you in your garden.

There are so many comparisons that can be made - you know your own heart and mind.  I am sure we all have and recognise them in our lives.

I am NOT saying to be content with sin in our husbands.  That is something we need to pray about and try to help them with.  I am talking about things that are just not what YOU would prefer them to be! It's as much an issue of having right priorities, as well contentment.

So, my challenge for this week?  Be content with what you have, and don't compare!  Start to see the good.  Be thankful for it.  Hug him a bit harder today because of it.

And, let me say, this topic has come to me on the perfect day.  My own heart was spoken to on this matter, whilst helping to encourage you lovely readers, too. God is good! My prayers have been answered, as my own attitude has been rebuked, and my heart humbled.

Don't forget to head on over to the other lady's blogs, listed at the top of the post.  I am sure they will have plenty of wise and helpful words to share.

Proverbs 31 Ponderings - "Do him good - All the days of our life"

It's been a long time since I pondered in Proverbs 31!  So, I thought that it was a good thing to do on a Saturday night.

We come to verse 12.

"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

There are 2 aspects here, that really jump out to me.

Firstly, we see a verb.

"DO".

The good that we are to demonstrate isn't just in our hearts, or in our minds.  We are required to put it into action.  No-one knows that our motivations and meanings are good, if we don't show them.  It's how our love for our husband's is truly demonstrated,  when we DO.

Love IS an action.  It is an outward evidence of an inward attitude.  It's a choice we make and a conduct we manifest.

All that we do, in our marriage, should be for the good of our husband, and not thinking of self at all.

When you remember that our ultimate example of marriage, is Christ and the Church, you see the perfect example of giving.  Of doing the best for the other.

It's not always easy - in fact, it is probably hard more than it is easy.  Our sinful hearts are drawn towards pleasing self, and we need to choose to look well to the ways of our husband before our own.  But, choose it we must.

Ephesians 5 verse 1 teaches us

"And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour" 

These are instructions to us all - not just to husbands.  We are to love in a sacrificial and giving way. 

Giving of ourselves to our husbands - to meet his every need, in any way we can.  To cast self aside and to seek his best by being all that we can be for him.  

Do we know that he likes us to dress a certain way?  Then do it! 

Do we know he likes certain meals?  Make them!

Do we know that he likes us to fold his laundry a particular way?  Do it!

Do we know that he prefers us to stay at home rather than going out?  Do it!

Do we know he prefers us to have our hair a certain way?  Do it!

Do we even KNOW what he likes?  Do we even care?  We should.  

If you don't know, ask.  It's that simple.  The verse above gives us some idea about how hard it may be to do good rather than evil.  It's a sacrifice.  It's giving up our own desires and wants, to meet the needs of another.  It's not easy, but the ultimate reckoning is that it pleases GOD!  We should aim to glorify Him by our actions, above all else.

The other aspect that really struck me, and I suppose could be overlooked easily.

"all the days of her life."

It's a long-term commitment.  And, it's not conditional.  

It doesn't say "so long as he is nice to you, and gives you what you want."

It doesn't say "when you feel like it".

It doesn't say "so long as you can make sure and get your own way, too."

It doesn't say "you can give up when things aren't peachy".

ALL the days of her life.  We need to KEEP ON doing good.  DOING.  

We cannot stop.  We cannot give up.  We cannot falter.  

There's a reason why "for better, for worse" was put in our marriage vows.   Those promises to God.  Because, there are "worse" moments, as well as "better".  We commit, then, when we make our choice in marriage, to do good ALL our days. Hard as it may sometimes be, we need to look to do good for our husbands. 

And, I am speaking from experience here.  As I am sure Robert would also say.  There are worse moments.  And, those are the times when it is even more important to choose the good.  Our marriages are all unique, and we all know our own husbands.  We know what good we need to do, in order to make our marriages work.  We know what good choices we must make - words we must say - actions we must take.

My prayer for each one of you is this - that you will seek the Lord's enabling to do your husband good, and to do it all your days. God is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.  He is able to give us the humility, grace and determination to do that good for our husband.  

May we all seek to fulfil this aspect of being a Proverbs 31 wife. 

R.E.O. - Random Educational Opportunity

I just made that term up.

You could tell?

Thanks.

It is, however, a brilliant term to describe what I am about to share.

 If you are not a home educator, well it is still something you can do with your children - or, indeed, just for your own educational satisfaction!!!

If you are a home educator, they are brilliant.  They are likely to instil a positive and gleeful reaction from your children. 

Why?

Because they ARE random.

Unexpected.

Unplanned.

BUT, if you share them with other people, then I suppose they could become a P.I.E.O.

A what?

A Planned Interesting Educational Opportunity.

Riiiiiight.  Moving on.

So, I hear you ask, "what on EARTH are you wittering on about NOW, Caroline?"

I actually have my lovely friend Anne to blame credit.

She was sharing with me a website that shows where the ferry is, travelling to her beautiful island of Lewis.  Two of the children of our mutual friend are travelling there today.

However, as my nature is, I got sidetracked and started looking at the other sea-borne vessels that were identified.  I became fascinated by the different ones that were shown, and the details provided.

Then, I looked at a map, on the same site, for a more local area to myself - around the South-East coast of England, where I knew there would be a high shipping volume.  And, BAM! The amount of different vessels, and what they do, is pretty amazing!

Well, I found it amazing.

So, what does one do, when one finds something pretty amazing?

She decides she needs to share it with her children, so they can learn something from it, too.

Let me share the map, first.

Here. 

By the time you have looked at it, it will have undoubtedly changed from what I am looking at.    But, I can see numerous different vessels.  I plan on getting the children to do the following things.

1. Identify as many different TYPES of vessel as you can.
2. Choose 1 vessel. List a) where it is coming from, b) where is it going to, c) what do you think it is doing?, d) what weight is it (if it says), e) how fast is it travelling?, f) when was it built?, g) what are its dimensions?
3. Compare it to the vessel the others chose. - whose is biggest, going farthest, heaviest, fastest?
4. Find out online what the ship may look like - draw a picture of it.
5. Describe something interesting about your vessel.


There are SO many different aspects of education covered in just ONE simple find! Maths, physics, geography, investigative skills, science, computer skills, art, writing.


So, what have YOU found online, that you can use as an REO? Have you done something interesting, or discovered something whilst out and about, that has spiralled into the perfect REO?  Please share with us, if you have found something and used it for school, or share with us something you THINK could be used as a learning tool!  If you have blogged about it, share it in the comments section below.  If you don't blog, describe it for us in the comments, or share on The Joyful Keeper page on FB!

AND, my R.E.O. just became your P.I.E.O.!!! *grin*

Voila.

Telling our children of God's greatness

I was struck by something as I read in the Psalms, in Psalm 71.

How often do I open my mouth, and express to my children how good God is?  Telling them about the greatness of God, in so many, wonderful ways?

David repeatedly talks of praising God, and telling of His goodness,  in this Psalm.

"my praise shall be continually of thee"

v6

 "Let my mouth be filled with thy praise 

and with thy honour all the day." 

v8

"I... will yet praise thee more and more"

v14

"My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof."

v 15

"I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only." 

v 16

"My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long"

v 24

Do you see how David talks about praising God ALL THE DAY?!?  From the moment we get up, until we go to bed, we should be praising and thanking God for his goodness.  What's more, these verses tell us something more.

"O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works...

Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come."

v 17 & 18

David knew of God's wonderful works and ways from HIS youth.  He learnt to see God's ways, and His blessings.  He pleads with the Lord to give him life so that he can show the NEXT generation His goodness, too.

We have a responsibility to share with our children about God's greatness and goodness.  To praise Him continually, so that our children are in no doubt about the source of our blessings - whether great or small.

Do you acknowledge God  when you have things work out for your family, when you don't expect it?  When all thing work together for good, do you acknowledge whence the goodness came from?  

When you travel around, and see the awesome creation that surrounds you, do you tell your children about the great creator that gifted it all to us?  Do you admire the beauty - the wonderful detail - the tremendous variety - and give credit to the One who blessed us with it all?  Do you hear the wind - see the stars - smell the flowers - and tell your children about the great God who designed it all to magnify Himself?  

Do you hear of souls saved - of missionaries seeing revival - of new Churches being opened - and tell them of God's power to still save, even in a day of darkness?  

Do you mundanely go through the day, with it's simple gifts, and forget to praise the one who sustains us day by day, or do you remind your children that everything - EVERYTHING - comes from God's bountiful supply?  

Most of all, do we talk of God's goodness in saving us?  Of His love towards us that was so great, that He sent His son to die for sinners?  Do they see us so grateful to God, that they see their need to be saved, too? 

Do we praise - thank - glorify - in a vocal and joyful way? 

Do our children see us praising parents, or passive parents? 

Find times and ways, every day, to remind your children about the goodness and greatness of the Lord, and raise a generation who come to know and love God, who gave us richly all things to enjoy. 

Let's fill our days with sentences that begin with "Isn't it wonderful that God....."

This hymn is one of my favourites, and expresses the sentiments of this Psalm.

Getting arty

I have to confess, that my approach to art has been rather, well, laid back?

My children LOVE to draw.  They are constantly - yes, CONSTANTLY - drawing pictures, and giving them to me.  They seem to be naturally developing skills by doing it on their own.

As much as that is all well and good, I feel it is a good thing to add some structure.  It's my theme of this term.

Structure.

So long as I add the element of consistency, it will be hunky-dory.

Moving on.

I thought I would share some of the resources that we are planning to use.

I wasn't quite sure where to start, but I knew that I wanted the children to learn.  I wanted them to learn about artists, art types, history of art and how to try it out for themselves.

So, what does every efficient home-schooling mother do?

She googles.

Yup, googles.

(It appears "googles" is not a verb acknowledged by my spell check.  It exists.  How do I know?  I DO it, so it must exist)

So, I went onto Amazon and searched for art books.  My eye was drawn (HA! "drawn"....) to this book.

I am a BIG fan of Usborne.  They tend to be very well produced, colourful and informative.  

It also had good reviews.  Amazon is great from that point of view, as you can see what other people think of the book. 

It gives you a history of 34 artists, from Giotto to Warhol.  For each artist you have a timeline of their life, interesting facts, and examples of their art.  Perfect for children to get the basics required to learn about these artists.  I will be using this book as a reference book, to help the children learn about the artists.

Next, I wanted a more general book about art.  I turned to Dorling Kindersley, which are anotehr reliable publisher.

This one is "Children's Book of Art"

It covers 3 main areas - early art, modern art and sculpture.  Within each section it has "how to do" sections, pages about artists, genres of art such as "children in art" and timelines of art styles and artists.  It is chock full of interesting facts and details about art.  It has "galleries" on the way through, to showcase different subjects.    This, again, will be used for reference, but also for details about how to replicate the types of art shown in the book.



My next choice was another DK one.

My Art Book.

This one is a project book, telling you about different art forms, and then showing you how to do your own projects using the same forms.  Each project has 2 pages about the form you will replicate, and 4 pages on how to do it yourself.  They give you a list of items you will need for each project, and alternative things to try if you don't have the materials suggested for the project.  There are 12 bigger projects, and 3 smaller ones.  If the suggestions don't suit your needs, there is enough of an idea to apply it to your own family.



To tie literature in with the art, I have a lovely set of books that I plan to use as a read-aloud.  They are the Katie and the Artists Collection.  I have the set with 10 books in  it.  They will be the perfect accompaniment to involve the younger ones, as we learn about the artists and their styles of painting.

I plan to have the children fill in print-outs about each artist we study, and have them try and replicate many of the styles used.  I will alternate, each week, between learning about the artist and his style, and putting it into practise!

So, there are my art plans for the next little while.  I don't know how long it will take to get through them all, but we will keep plodding away, and above all else, HAVE FUN!!

What are your ideas for studying art?  Have you got any resources or ideas to share?  Please comment below, and leave us a link to your blog if you have posted about it.

** I MUST POINT OUT THAT THESE BOOKS HAVE SOME REFERENCE TO NUDITY.  IT'S NEARLY UNAVOIDABLE IN ART.  I PLAN TO EXPLAIN TO THE CHILDREN THAT WE DO NOT CONDONE NUDITY, AND EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY.  I WILL USE IT TO TEACH THEM ABOUT IT, RATHER THAN TRYING TO PRETEND IT DOESN'T EXIST**

Revive Your Marriage - praying for your husband

Several of the blogs I follow are doing a 4 week challenge, "Revive Your Marriage".  Every week they will deal with a different area that you can work on, with a post from each lady, on their respective blogs, giving ideas and suggestions.

I doubt that anyone could put up their hand and say "yup, my marriage is perfect and it doesn't require any extra work"!  It would be lie, for a start, because our marriages need constant cultivation and work. It's like a garden.  If we want our garden to be beautiful and fruitful, it needs work.  You need to plant things, you need to water them and feed them, you need to train some things up.  You need to keep the weeds away, to stop them choking the plants you want to be there.

Marriage is a lot like that.  It doesn't happen on its own.  We need to "plant" the right attitudes, and actions.  We need to pull out the weeds of sin - of discontent, of strife, of bad attitudes, of stubbornness. Over all else, we need prayer.

No area of our life should be without prayer, and our marriage is no exception.

However, it can be easy to see the various needs all around us - of missionaries, of those with struggles and trials - and forget the grass roots issues, such as our very own husband and HIS needs!!!

If we sat down and wrote a list, there are many, many ways in which our husbands, and our marriage, need prayer.

I am not going to do that, though.  I would recommend Stormie Omartian's book, "The Power of a Praying Wife".  It breaks down the subject into many different areas, in which you can pray for your husband.

My top tip is simple, and yet I would suggest that we may seldom, or maybe have NEVER, done it?

Ask your HUSBAND how you can pray for him.

I can almost guarantee that you will be surprised.  It will probably NOT be what YOU perceive to be the area that requires the most prayer.  Why not?  Because, we are women.  Women have different thoughts, priorities and ways than men.  (Just in case you hadn't already realised that!)  What is bothering your husband, may be something you have no idea about.  An area that he feels burdened about may be something that surprises you.

One thing I AM sure about.  Your husband will deeply appreciate you asking the question.  He will value your care and concern.  It will get him thinking about what area he DOES need most prayer in! Plus, it may even get you talking about something you hadn't even been discussing as a couple before. All round, this can be one of the most wonderful things you can do as a wife.  Praying intelligently, and meaningfully, for you husband.

Another thing that I recommend, but I must admit it's been a while since we did it.  Pray TOGETHER.  Just the two of you.  Not in family worship.  Not alone, as you ought, in your own quiet time.  Just husband, and wife, lifting their hearts and voices in prayer, united, to their heavenly Father.  We did it all the time before we had children.  We did it in our courting days.  I have MANY precious memories of the times we had together in prayer.  You could maybe set aside a special time to pray together.  Discuss issues in your marriage - in your home - about parenting - and then, prayer together about them. It doesn't have to be every day, or every other day.  It could be just for a short time once a week, or even once a month.  You WILL be blessed in doing it!

So, there you have it.  My top two tips for Reviving the Prayers for your Marriage!!!

Now to put them into practise myself. *smiles*

Head on over to the other blogs, to see what suggestions these ladies give, and check out the links to the others, and be blessed as you read!

Their tip for the week is this great idea.

 

Baking something new...yummmmmmmmmmmy

I've been busy.

I will post about that when I have time to finish the complex nature of the detail involved in my post.

Nothing amazing - just new school things!

But, to keep you going, how about I share a new recipe I tried today?

I have read The Pioneer Woman, on and off, for years now.  I used her recipe for cinnamon rolls (hmmm, must make them again - they are also yummy!), but had never tried anything else.

So, when my lovely friend Anne mentioned that she had baked some minty, yummy brownie thingies, I felt I must try them. And, they were from The Pioneer Woman.   Now, I am not a mint fan.  Unless, of course, it is WITH chocolate.  Anything + chocolate = pretty guaranteed winner.  Well, NEARLY anything.  Not chillies.  You know who you are....

So, the recipe.  She calls them Chocolate Mint Brownie Bites.

That's exactly what they are, so the perfect name, really!

She has some typically classy pictures, but I took some to show what I did.

I want to tell you about my tin, first.  It's from Lakeland, and they call it a "mini morsel tin".  I have previously used it to make mini tarts.  I made little strawberry ones, and mini lemon meringue ones.  A certain person thought that they were shop bought - I think that's a compliment, and I shall take it as such.  They did look pretty, all uniform and meringue topped, filled with tangy, lemony yumminess.

I digress.

It's a great tin.  Non-stick.  You just need a good spray of one of these oil sprays, and the contents come out nicely after baking.  If you look carefully, you will see the tin has, indeed, been sprayed.

If you do a lot of baking, especially for Church teas where you want bite-sized treats, this tin is fab.  It's not cheap, but worth the money.

Non-profit making advertising over.

I then put the mix, which was VERY easy to make, into the tin.

You see, I am SO not a cookery photographer, that I had to take this with the oven door open, as I remembered just after I put them in.... dipsy... that's me. 

Oh, let me just say.  I used After Eights (well, Sainsbury's own version), rather than Andes mints.  Whatever they are.  I did the first lot in a bowl, over simmering water.  It went in a lump and I thinned it with some boiling water.  It worked out fine.  When I needed the melted concoction for coating the bites, I nuked it in the microwave.  It worked better, but was still a tad thick, so the boiling water got added again.  Maybe our After Eights are not quite like their chocolate mint things.  I made it work, anyway.

They didn't take long to cook, and are just like little brownies - same flaky top.

Which you can't see because they are upside-down.

There's one missing?

Really?

Hmmmm, where did that go?

*whistles*

They are yum just like that, but the next step takes it to the dreamy delicious status.

I didn't take a picture whilst doing this.  My fingers were seriously covered in choclatey, minty yumminess.  I may, or may not, have had to lick my fingers once I had finished.

You wanna see them?

Ooooooooh, yeah!

Yum-my.

Just like I said.

I am pretty certain I have seen orange thins in the shop.  Chocolate orange is one of my very favourite chocolatey goodness.  I feel I must try that next.  It may be wrong not to.

Sadly, some fell apart when coming out the tin.

Sad.  Very sad.  SO sad, they had to be eaten.  Maybe with some of the left-over chocolate covering globbed on top.  

Maybe.

Just, maybe.

Oh, and the recipe made nearly 48 of this "morsel".  Well, it should have meant there were nearly 48 completed.  SHOULD have. 

So, go on!! DIY!  You will not regret it!