Tots on a Tuesday {sentence building - FREE PRINTABLE!}

As I mentioned, last week, I am beginning an "experimental" stage of my educating role.

I am working with sight reading over phonics, just to see if it both helps my "early reader", and also if it kickstarts my non-reader.

So far, it's been going well! It's instantly giving my reader a lot of courage, and she is fast identifying the sight words she had previously struggled to identify.  That ALONE I consider success! Add to that the enthusiastic and speedily gained ability of my non-reader, to identify several of the words we have been learning, and you have a double whammy of early success.

Without a doubt, the use of repetition, and picture association, helps massively.  I think my non-reader could almost tell you it by memory.  I'm no dozer, though.  That is NOT reading - that's memorising.  He CAN, however, identify words if you ask him out of context.  Enter my newly created, printed, and laminated word "strips".  I figured that if repetition was undoubtedly going to be a key factor in this new reading malarkey, then I was going to make it fun and interesting! As my non-reader can't write, I needed a non-written way to reinforce.  The printed words, for him to replicate the sentences, seemed the obvious choice.



We sat together, looking back over the reading he had done.  I spread the words out on the floor (yes, the floor - who needs tables, right?...) and he was to find them for himself, and copy the sentences from the book.

I had TOTALLY forgotten how much joy and EXCITEMENT this kinda' thing can create for a small person - how incredibly thrilled and overjoyed he was to copy the sentences for himself!  It was a huge hit, and he would have stayed up all night copying all the sentences in the book, but, alas, it was bedtime!

Mean mother, making him SLEEP, instead of WORKING!

Yes, I forgot, also, how they don't realise it's work, to begin with - I DO remember that fazes pretty jolly quickly....

In the meantime, I am going to enjoy pressing on with this approach, and seeing these two little treasures learn to read!

I'm all for spreading joy, so if you think it may be of use to you, I have created a printable for you, of the words used in set "1" of the Key Words Ladybird reading scheme. Not everyone has these books, but I know they are out there, used by many over the years! I will list the words for you, so you know if they will be useful in your own education setting, before you bother to download them.  I will also create more as we go through, so, by the time we are at the last set of books, you would have most of the commonly used "sight words" to print and use.

I have created the printable over 4 pages, to include repeats of the more commonly used words, so there are plenty to use.  Just click on the image to get to the document, then print it off as you need it.  I hope they are of use to someone!

I will continue to update as we carry on with the Key Words scheme - so far, so good!

Looking at your own beam {a lesson learnt from a "lost" pack of wipes}

Every now and again, I get to do some crochet or knitting in the daytime.  More often than not, it's an evening activity, after all my jobs are done.  Whenever I get my yarn out, I like to stick my feet up.  Don't ask me why, because I have no idea.  It just seems more comfortable to sit that way, when occupied thus.

I was sat that way, one day, not long ago, when a small person came to me, requiring some attention in the nether regions.  I sent a child to get me a nappy and wipes, and they brought me back a nappy - but no wipes.  I gently suggested they look again, whilst scanning my eye around the room, to see if they had been misplaced.  It happens, don'thcha know..... *aherm*

Nope.

Still no wipes.

I started to get  a little irritated.  I mean, how hard is it for  child to find a packet of wipes.  After all, I knew they had been in my hand only a short while before, so they couldn't have got far.  There I sat, in my comfortable recline, barking orders to look here, there and everywhere.  I informed them that they were not being thorough enough, and needed to put more effort into finding them.  How could they not see them?

Eventually, frustrated and impatient with the inadequate efforts of my offspring, I removed my feet from the chair they were upon, and where my skirt was hanging down, and sat up more upright, to take a better look myself.

I scanned the room, and still couldn't see that packet, which was being less than obsequious.

Until I moved slightly, and looked down.

There, on the floor, RIGHT BY MY OWN FEET, were the wipes.  Hidden by my very own skirt and legs.

Gulp.

To be fair, the children COULD have seen them.  They would have been slightly more visible to them, than they were to me -  me, sitting making no effort to look myself.

It made me think of how we so quickly find fault in others, whilst not taking a hard look "closer to home".   How easy it is, to sit in "ivory palaces", making judgement on the actions of others. How easy it is to see the sin and failing of those we gaze upon.  How incredibly swiftly the words slip out, in judgement of the inadequacies and short-comings of those around us.

All the while, not taking the time to check our heart and actions FIRST.

Had I bothered to do my part FIRST it would have avoided much exasperation and frustration on my part.

It's something we all fall prey to, at some time or another.  Sitting in a spiritual position of self importance, thinking our view is the right one, and not having the grace to see that others ARE doing their part, and doing their best.  Not seeing that others have a different "view" on the same issue, which is just as valid as our own.  Not accepting that we can miss something important just as easily as someone else has.

The Bible tells us a couple of things that are worth noting.

"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? "

Matthew 7:3

It's an age old "quotable quote".   A mote is like a tiny piece of straw - a fleck of something small.  a beam - well, you know what one of those is! The big, heavy duty pieces of timber, used to hold up whole parts of  a building!  Don't go pointing out the tiny things that are "Out of place" spiritually, in the lives of those around you, when you have your own mega planks in our own eye.  Look at yourself first.

"For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: 

For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. 

But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed."

James 1:23-25

Yowsers.

That portion of scripture convicts me EVERY TIME I read it.

Skimming over God's Word, without actually applying it, is just not good.  We need to look at ourselves, and see if what we see reflects the truth and teaching of the scriptures. If it doesn't, we need to DO something.  We can't just go off and forget what we have seen, and take no action.  We need to be DOERS.  Looking at others, but forgetting to examine OURSELVES, is not good. 

A hearer, but not a doer, is a hypocrite.  Telling others what is right, but not putting it into action ourselves, is not something God likes AT ALL.  Jesus was constantly rebuking the Pharisees for their hypocrisy.  Over, and over again.  If we pick fault in others, without sorting out or own lives, we are just like them.  

But look - look at what James teaches us. If we listen, learn, and apply scripture to our own heart and life, we will be BLESSED!  Criticising others will never bring us joy and blessing - only a jaded heart and bitterness. 

One of the most descriptive, and challenging verses is this one....

"This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me."

If you call yourself a Christian, but your heart is not where it should be - checking to see that you are honouring and obeying God in your OWN heart and life - it's not good.

The Lord continues on in the chapter to say this....

"but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man."

Our words that we speak are what makes us unclean and tarnished.  

Hypocrites who are quick to say things about others, instead of those who look with humility at their own shortcomings, and beat on their chest saying "God, be merciful to me, a sinner".

Oh, how thankful I am, that the Lord shows me, time and time again, of my own short-comings, through His word, and through even my children.   May He enable me to examine my own heart and life in the light of His word, and e less hasty to condemn others. 

Women of the Word {Esther - speaking wisely}

One of the things that always manages to convict me, when reading about Esther, are the lessons learnt about using our words wisely.

Esther is a wonderful picture about how to communicate effectively, especially with your husband.  Numerous times, throughout the account of Esther, we see her being wise with her words.  Not just with her husband, but also with others.

The thing that stands out most, above the details of what she says, and how she says it, is WHY she did it.

All Esther does, all through this book, is for the benefit of the righteous.  She is protecting her people, the Jews, and she is protecting Mordecai.  Wisdom, resulting in clever speech, is her forte.

As a wife, and as a follower of Christ, we have lessons we can learn - whether it's speaking to our husband, or speaking to our friends and family.  Those who are nearest and dearest should be the recipients of our wise speech.

There are two areas that stand out to me.

Her words protected her husband

Her words persuaded her husband

Early on in the book, we find Esther protecting her husband, by what she says.  As I mentioned last week, it would have been ever so easy for her to just say nothing.  It's  easy to stay silent, but often harder to speak up.  If Esther had said nothing, those plotting to kill Ahasuerus would have been successful.  Being a child of the King, she didn't want to see hurt come to her husband, and so she spoke up.

As a wife, it's our duty to use words that protect our husband.  I hear FAR too many women "husband bashing".  I cringe when I hear women degrading their husband, and criticising him. It saddens my heart when women think so little of their husband that they show such disrespect. God has given us our husbands.  They are a blessing to us. To begin to undermine their authority, by "letting them down" in a public manner, is quite simply abhor-able.  Are they perfect? No.  None of us are.  Does that mean we can moan and groan and complain to whoever, whenever? Nope.

Our words should be like a covering around our husband - wrapping him in a protective blanket, where no-one else has reason to start criticising or judging him unfairly.  If we throw out comments out of context, or in the heat of the moment, the minds and mouths of others are likely to be critical and jump to false conclusions - all because of our inability to keep silence.

HOW we speak to our husband is also of vital importance.  If we speak with a harsh tone, or with impatience and a lack of grace, our words will not be well received.  You know yourself, if a child, or anyone else for that matter, speaks with the wrong tone, our minds and hearts will quickly put up a "no" in response to their request or statement.

Looking at general scriptural principles, and applying them to marriage, is a good exercise.



Our words should be quiet - 

"The words of wise men are heard in quiet more than the cry of him that ruleth among fools. "

Ecclesiastes 9:17 

How often it is so easy to start getting loud and irritated, when we try to put our point of view across, or we don't agree on something.  Your husband hear you louder, if you speak quietly.

Our words should be gracious - 

"The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself."

Ecclesiastes 10:12  

If we have words "always with grace", then we will avoid so much conflict.  Being gracious is about thinking the best of another - not picking up on the worst.  Forgiving.  Loving. All vital in a marriage.


Our words should sometimes NOT be spoken -

" In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise."

Proverbs 10:19 

As hard as it might be, there are times when we ought to say nothing at ALL.  The more we say, the more we open ourselves up to sinning in our words.  It's like a snowball.  One unwise thought slips out as words, and the rest comes tumbling after.  Once words are spoken, they can't be taken back.  It ain't easy for many women, but the truth is "least said, soonest mended".

Our words should build up our husband - 

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Ephesians 4:29

Our husbands are just as relevant as anyone else, here.  We are to build our husband up, with the words we use, not tear him down.  Ministering grace to the hearer - our husband. Serving him up a portion of gracious "herbs" alongside his dinner, instead of "stalled ox" and strife. Love = grace. IF Christ didn't show us that, then I don't know who did.  If we love our husband, our words will shower him with grace, and encourage him.

Our words should not be manipulative - 

"For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:"

I Peter 3:8

Guile is all about being duplicitous, crafty and deceitful - it's using our words for self gain, and perhaps even with-holding the truth for our own betterment. It's another sad truth  - wives of today manipulate and deceive.  It is evidence of a lack of trust and honesty, and downright selfishness, to have a heart of guile.  I know of women who hide things from their husband - purchases made they know they won't be happy about, things they do which their husband wouldn't approve of, places they go that their husband would be unhappy about. All based upon selfish desires and motives.  Not caring about the thoughts and opinions of their husband.  Completely and utterly lacking in mutual respect. Ladies, it's WRONG! Just don't do it! Look at the promise given - if you want to love life and see good days, don't speak in an evil way, and don't have a heart of guile. 

This verse follows on from Peter's specific teaching to husbands and wives.  The fuller exhortation reads like this...

"Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 

Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. 

For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:"

I Peter 3:8-10

Talk about being packed full! So much instruction and wisdom, worthy of our attention.

Ephesians clearly teaches that we are to respect our husband.  If we are to show respect, then we need to be wise both in how we speak TO our husband, and ABOUT our husband.

As to the second way that Esther's words were used - she persuaded her husband.

There are times when we need to be wise about when and how we speak to our husband, on matters of importance. Not because we are trying to manipulate for selfish reasons, but because we know our husband is at his best to listen and take things on board.

If you need to speak with your husband on an important subject, and he has had a stressful work day, and a headache to boot, it would be unwise to raise it at that moment.  He is not going to be able to cope, mentally or physically, with processing an important subject matter - not because he's an unreasonable ogre, but because he's human.  If you come and try to talk with him whilst he is trying to do something else, that is also a no-no.  Many men can simply not deal with more than one thing at once.  It's the way God made them, and it means they are usually super-focussed on something else, and doing a great job of it, as well!

Think of it this way - are there times when your children come and ask you about something, and you tell them you can't think about it right now? If so, the same may well apply to speaking to your husband. If I am making dinner, I can't concentrate on complex questions from my children.  I would rather wait, so I can fully listen to them, and help them to my greatest capacity.

It's equally an issue of not being selfish and impetuous yourself! Having self control and waiting for the right time, is something we need to exercise as women, as much as understanding our husband!

Esther both protected her husband, and persuaded her husband - all because she chose to use her words wisely, and to put others before herself.

We we would do well to do the same.

Tots on a Tuesday {Phonics vs Sight Reading}

I am super excited.

Yes, SUPER excited.

It truly doesn't take much, so don't you go getting too excited.

When I switched from using ACE as our main school curriculum, I had to decide which approach I wanted to take for teaching my subsequent children to read.  I researched it, and went with the same approach I was familiar with - phonics.  Albeit, the system I went with, Jolly Phonics, taught the phonics in a different order to what we had done previously, it still used phonics.  I was already having to face lots of new things, and staying with phonics seemed "safe".  I have loved Jolly Phonics, and I highly recommend it for British educators - it's relatively inexpensive, colourful, and BRITISH.  Yes, correct spelling, and MOSTLY correct pronunciation. (Why "mostly"?  It's ENGLISH..... Not Scottish..... )

However, I have been noticing that Abi seems to be learning some words by just reading them in her reading books, without sounding them out.  At the same time, I have noticed that Elijah has already taken a self-initiated interest in learning to write and read.  He seems to have a good memory for recognising letters, with very little instruction (he learnt to write his name from tracing it ONCE in a card... first of my children to do such a thing!). I got to wondering if he could learnt to read in a similar way.

If you are going to teach reading in this way, I *KNEW* that the Ladybird Key Words reading scheme was a tried and tested method.  They use "High Frequency" words, and the child learns to read based on those.  Did you know, 12 Key Words make up a 1/4 of those we read and write? 100 make up HALF of those we red and write, and around 300 words are 3/4 of what we read!!! Yes, that few words are the "Key words" of our reading experience.

This reading scheme involves introducing words to the child, in each book, and repeating them in various ways - switching the sentence structure around  a little, and adding in new words.  In book 1a, there are 16 new words, and they are repeated an average of 10 times each. In level  a and b there is progressively more complexity and variety in how these words are used, and book c focuses on writing, with activities for the child to copy out in an exercise book.


It's quite different to what I have used previously, but I am going to try doing it with Elijah and Abi together.  It will be great practice for "tricky words" used in Jolly Phonics, and a good "trial" to see how Elijah gets on.  I plan to also use the Reading Eggs apps, on the iPad, with Elijah, so he is concurrently learning all the letter names and sounds, for the words you can sound out phonetically.
This is a tried and tested reading scheme that has been on the go for YEARS! Decades, even!  I am hoping that means it could be successful for us, or at least be a great addition to our literacy lessons.

It's funny, it's taken me all these years to get more "adventurous" in how I do things!

You have to live a little, right?

And, I'm sure Elijah won't mind me using him as a guinea pig in a reading trial.....

I love that home educating allows the flexibility to find things that suit your individual child's needs.  And, which home educator doesn't need more books?? She says, having carefully researched, and purchased, a new bookcase for her home, only today....

So, how did you teach your children to read? What methods did you find to be successful, and which ones were  a flop?  Do you use the same for all of your children, or did you switch about, from child to child?  Please link up your posts about teaching children to read, or other literacy resources you find helpful.  If you don't blog, please share in the comments below! I love to her from my readers, and your experience may be just what someone else needs to hear, to encourage them.

IF you link up, please grab my "Tots on a Tuesday" button, from the side bar, and pop it in your post. Thank  you muchly.

Breaking the alabaster box {"she hath done what she could"}

I know of so many women who are in a continual battle - internally, and externally - about the role they are undertaking as a mother.  There are doubts and fears bombarding our hearts and minds, as we week to serve God, right where we are.  We are led to believe that there is something better - more important - that we could, or should, be doing, beyond the incredible task of being a mother.

We are made to feel that what we do is somehow inferior - working outside the home is "better", or "more important". We are made to feel that the task is insignificant. Others may think it's the easy option to stay at home.  I was incredibly astounded, and heartbroken, to hear that there are those that even think that having more than "x" amount of children is tantamount to sinful behaviour, because it's keeping us from "working in the Church".  There are women who think that they are failing their children because they can't provide the same things for their children as others can. Others still struggle in their hearts, feeling they are letting their children down because THEY are not perfect themselves.

I was struck, however, by the account of Jesus' visit to Bethany, where he met with his dear friends - Lazarus, Mary and Martha.  Those friends who went to every effort to be the perfect hosts, on another occasion and who loved being near their Master.

As He visits, Mary takes a box of costly ointment, and anoints Jesus with it. The disciples - particularly money pinching, betraying, Judas - complain at the wasteful action of using the oil in such a way.  It should have been used for its intended purpose, or at least sold, the money being useful for something else.

Jesus, however, pointed out something that us mothers need to remind ourselves EVERY SINGLE DAY.

"She hath done what she could"

Mary gave sacrificially, and willingly, to Jesus, using what she had to give generously.  Yes, there were other ways that the precious ointment could have been used, but she wanted it to be given to Jesus.  She gave it all, and she gave gladly - what she had to give, she gave.

Precious mother - this is you.

God has given you your children.  Children are an incredible, God-given miracle - without a doubt.  They are a gift.  He has given you the ability to care for them, train them up, and nurture them. He has made YOU their mother.  No-one else.  It's something you can only do.

I ask myself, how am I giving as a mother, today? Am I putting in every effort I can to serve the Lord, right here, right now? Am I lovingly, tenderly, and graciously caring for them?  Am I seeking God's wisdom and guidance, daily, through His inspired Word - seeking His will and HIS ways? Am I accepting the situation that God has led me into - seeing that God's ways may not be my ways, but they are the BEST ways?

If the answer is "yes", then God will look upon us, as He did Mary, and will say

"She hath done what she could"

We can't do any more than that - we CAN do less than that.  God has given us the ability to choose to give our all - to be faithful and true, in our calling as a mother - to shun the other options that may tempt us to doubt that what we are doing is the "right thing" - and to do what we can, giving to Jesus.

Our willing hearts, and the action that MUST accompany it, as evidence of that internal work, are what God is looking for.  He will bless us, and accept our life offering, if we do it for Him - for His glory.

It says that Mary "broke" the alabaster jar.  It doesn't necessarily mean it was "broken" - simply opened up, to be poured out.

That's how we need to be as mothers - poured out, before God. Emptying of self, and giving to Him.  Not keeping anything back, but serving fully.  Not just a dribble.  Not keeping anything back. Not giving to somewhere or someone else.  Everything we have, given to God.

The other important point to remember, is this - it was MARY'S box.  It didn't belong to anyone else.  It was hers alone, and hers alone to give.  Your life is exactly that - YOURS.  No-one else can live it for you.  They can tell you what they think is right for them, they can tell you what they THINK is right for you.  You, and only you, knows what you own, as YOUR lot in life, to be able to give to the Lord.  We need to own our life by pouring it out to Jesus.  Being a mother who gives her all, poured out with a willing heart, to Jesus - our Saviour. With God's Word to guide you on the big principles, and God's wisdom to guide you on the finer details, you can pour out the alabaster box of your life, as a mother, to Him.

Are you like me - do you even find it is most often those who are "disciples" of Christ who are the most critical of how your pout your life to him? It was the DISCIPLES who moaned and complained about what she did.  I have countless situations where people have questioned how I am pouring out my life - how many children I have, how we choose to educate them, how we choose to discipline them, what we allow them to do, or not do, the company we have them keep, and mostly it's fellow believers who condemn and question the most. They are the ones who question my actions.

The Lord sees, and sends His word of rebuke out, as He did to His own disciples

HE sees.

He sees when we taken those precious moments of our life - as wife, mother, and follower of Him - and give them back to Him.  Living our life poured out, responsible only for what God has given US.  Serving God by serving our family, broken and spilled out entirely, for JESUS only.

And maybe, just MAYBE, the disciples and whose who question YOU have the same issue? Perhaps their own hearts are pricked by the choices you make?  Then, it's simply not your place to worry or doubt your own choices - it's only theirs to make THEIR own choices, before God - not to question YOURS.

Sweet sister - what  you have to offer, as a mother, is of great value in God's eyes.

"If any man serve me, him will my Father honour."

John 12:26

If the Lord has given you a family, then you have to raise them to His glory. That is the way God expects you to serve Him.  The Lord will honour our service to Him, as mothers.


Don't look for the approval others, simply look for the approval of your Heavenly Father.  The only words you need to hear, as we pour out the "alabaster box" of motherhood, are "She hath done what she could".

Fighting the Enemy of "Failure" {Let it go}

I was chatting online to a sweet friend, recently. She was telling me about some of her struggles, and I was trying to encourage her. 

It got me thinking back to when I was in a similar situation to her.  It seems like so long ago, now.  Those days when I had only little children, and quite a few of them.  I know it's not as close together as some have them, but I had my 5th when my oldest was 6, and that was a c-section, with its longer recovery. 

I look back and remember how I struggled with so much.  I had a small house, which was REALLY difficult to keep tidy.  Lots of people, with all their "stuff", and not really old enough to help with the big jobs, makes life HARD. Cooking and cleaning. Doing school. We also hosted students from America at weekends, which was such a joy, but brought extra work, too. I baked a lot, and made my own bread.  Life was busy, but it was a battle.

You see, I look back - and I look AROUND  - and I see an enemy. It's an enemy that creeps into the heart and mind of most mothers, I think. 

It's self-expectation, and failure. 

We make demands upon ourselves, that no-one else places there, or we THINK others are placing there.  We THINK we should be doing X, Y and Z in order to be the perfect mother our children need.  We base it upon what we have decided life should be like, but when it doesn't work out that way we mentally beat ourselves up about it.  

We think we are failing.

We grieve over the time we were able to spend with our eldest - that same time seems to be spread so thinly now.  We feel that we are failing because the same activities cannot be done with other children that we did with the first. We started a lovely thing and cannot keep it up. We can try, but we can easily burn out if we even attempt to do it.

Sadness can quickly set in.  

I remember I had a baby book for Josh.  It was completed, with all the details of this, that and the other.  All carefully and excitedly filled in, as each milestone was reached.  I got on when I had Beth - about half of that was completed.  I bought one when I had Daniel.... it got a name written inside.  That was it!  I can remember feeling so guilty - that I was a failure because I couldn't even fill out a simple baby book! 

Laundry, which was so easy to keep on top of with one -  even between the demands of adjusting to life as a first time Mum - can quickly pile up. 

Dishes, which we so quick to wash up with just two adults, and a baby who didn't yet need dishes, now sit stacked up.

Toys, strewn around the house, with only little people to "help" - little people who are perfect at MAKING the mess, and not so much at the tidying up part.

Jobs you never seem to get around to doing, because even the basics are hard to accomplish..

All the while, in your mind, you are accusing yourself of being useless, a failure, just not keeping up, or meeting up to expectations.

The worst part, for me (and it still is!), is people saying "Oh, I don't know how you do it!", whilst inside I am screaming "I'm really not as wonderful as you think!".  The swan scenario playing out, every time someone sees your family - the calm exterior, whilst what they can't see, under the "water" of the closed door of your home, is you madly "paddling" to try and keep life moving.  Knowing you just have to keep paddling, but at the same time despondent that your paddling isn't moving you as quickly as you would like, or in the direction you had hoped.

I wish there had been someone to tell me THEN, what I know now.  A message I need to remind myself of, every time the mess starts to pile up further, and the jobs keep getting left that I think should be done NOW.

Not getting things done doesn't make you a failure! 

Motherhood isn't a test.  There isn't anyone standing there observing us, with a set of rules and regulations, grading our abilities to be a good mother.  There is no "right" or "wrong" way to be a mother, or care for a home.

You're not in some contest, up against the other Mums you know, in an attempt to gain "mother of the year" status.  

You don't even need to be comparing yourself to what you were able to do last year, last month, last week, or even yesterday. 

You don't need to hide the fact that you are a Mum who struggles, and who isn't "perfect"!  You don't need to push yourself even further to make sure your house is spotless when people come to visit, lest they think you are "failing".  

You need to look at today, and the strength and opportunities you have to do your best. YOUR best.  Not someone else's best.  You need to do everything in YOUR power, by God's grace and help, and within the limitations He has placed upon your life, to live your life.

Maybe you have  chronic ill health, which makes certain jobs nearly impossible?  God knows, and you can only do what you can do.

Maybe you are going through the struggles of pregnancy and morning sickness?  God knows, and the laundry that's falling behind because you are exhausted, or the dishes that never seem to be "caught up", will get done when your energy returns.

Maybe you have lots of little children who are always making mess, and you struggle to keep on top of it all.  They have fun, whilst you fret.  Don't! They grow up SOOOO quickly, and mess is not dirt. As my husband reminded me the other day "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox."  Children are our "oxen". Children = mess! But, there is "much strength" in children.  They are a blessing, and the mess they make will pass before you know it, and we will be bemoaning the fact that the phase passed in such a flash. 

Maybe you planned to follow some school book, and it's just not working out for you. It doesn't make you a failure, it just means it wasn't right for you and your family!

None of this, and many other things beside, makes you a failure.  Hiding your life from others won't make you "perfect", it just makes you good at hiding reality!  All that matters is that you are being faithful.  Faithful to God, in doing all you can to get through this day, this hour, this moment. Glorifying Him by your heart being right, and your attempts being, well, ATTEMPTED! Doing the next thing, and not dwelling on what you DIDN'T do.

If you are a mother of small girls, or if you are just a person who has exposure to the world, you may have heard of a song called "Let it go"?  When I was thinking about the concept of "the past being in the past" a moment ago, I thought of that song, and looked up the words.  I know there has been criticism of Elsa singing "no right no wrong, no rules for me", and it is something we have told our children that, from a Biblical perspective, is not correct.

For a moment, though, take a look at this song from the angle of MOTHERHOOD.

"A kingdom of isolation"

Do we make our life a kingdom of isolation, because we don't want to let people in to see what REAL life is like for us? 

"Don't let them in,
don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel,
don't let them know"

THIS IS MY LIFE!

I feel I have to put across some impression of having it all together, so that no-one judges me for not being a "perfect" mother.  I am quite sure that most people DON'T expect that, but I feel I will be failing the "team" of large families who homeschool, if I don't "fit" the "right" way to be a mother.

"Well now they know"

Well, now you know!  *grin*

I'M NOT! 

There, it's out.

My house is often messy. There is often laundry waiting to be done.  I shout at my children. I make mistakes.  I don't always get things done that I think I should. I waste time. I'm not always submissive.

Now you know.

"Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door"

Ok, so, slamming  door isn't really showing self control, but I am going to CLOSE the door on my days that are past - my jobs that didn't get done yesterday - the stumblings and sins of yesterday.  Today is  new day, with the capabilities that God has gifted me with.

"I don't care
what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on."

I don't. I don't care what other people say about what THEY think is the way I should live my life.  It's up to my husband, me, and our consciences before the Lord, to decide how our life needs to be. In the Bible it says to be "careful" for nothing. Full of care.  Anxious.  Worried. I cannot spend my life being worried about what other people think.  If they judge me wrongly, that is between them and the Lord.  I need to just keep being faithful right where I am.

"It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!"

You can be free from what others perceive as the "right" or "wrong" way to be a mother.  There ARE no rules on parenting - no man-made ones, anyway.  Other people cannot dictate to you how to live your life.  God's Word is always and only the "rule" for you.  That's it! Not your parents, your siblings, your family, your friends, or the media.  What you choose to do with your life, each and every day, can only be decided by you. God will give you, and only you, the wisdom to discern what needs to be done, and what can wait.

"I'm never going back, the past is in the past"

We don't need to keep going back over what we did in the past, or what we DIDN'T get done!  We can't dwell on the sins of the past, or the disappointments of yesterday, or the opportunities we lost, or the jobs that didn't get started, never mind finished. 

The Bible says

"Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage."

Galatians 5:1

Paul was speaking to those who felt they must follow all the rules and the law - circumcision, being one that was mentioned.  He told the Galatians they were FREE from the law - being a Christian isn't about "rule following".  Christ has set us FREE from that! Living like that is like being a prisoner.  Christ has saved us, not only from our sin, but being bound to follow laws that can not, and will not, earn us merit or salvation.  

Our day to day life, as mothers, is no different.  We mustn't become prisoners to fitting into the mould of "the perfect mother". Christ has made us free, and we can live our lives in the individual way that God has made us.  

Following God's commands? Yes! 

Following the laws and rules of others? NO!

Are you stuck in a life where you are always feeling your "failures", and only seeing where you are NOT achieving, rather than what you ARE doing?  

LET IT GO!

Are you worrying about what others will think about your life, and your struggles?

LET IT GO!

Do you feel you should be following the "rules" of motherhood, as others think it should be?

LET IT GO!

Mothers, set yourself free from the bondage of feeling like a failure, and let it go!

Women of the Word {Esther - For Such a Time as This}

When I was considering Esther, and what I would say about her, THIS is not what I planned on saying.

I had thoughts of husbands, and communication.  There's a lesson to be learned about that, and MAYBE I will return to it, but the Holy Spirit whispered a different message into my heart this morning, and that is what I will share.  Those quiet moments in the morning, when I manage to drag my tired body out of bed, to savour the stillness with my Saviour, are ALWAYS worth it.  Those are the moments when I hear His voice speaking to me.

Esther.   "Fair and Beautiful".  A girl, carried away in the captivity.  Her parents are dead, and she lives with her cousin, Mordecai.  They live in a foreign land, far away from all that they knew and loved - most certainly separated, by traumatic circumstances, from those they held dear.

Esther.  Taken into "custody" - a prisoner.  A year spent preparing herself for a glorified beauty pageant. All her days spent amongst those primping and preening - all for  the possibility of becoming the Queen of a mighty ruler. Paraded before a godless king, to have her beauty admired.

Esther.  The one admired by those around her  - her inward beauty most likely shining forth, even then, as well as that outward beauty.  The one chosen by the King, obtaining grace and favour in his sight, over all the other maidens.

What struck my heart this morning was this.

She was a woman who accepted.

She gently, quietly, without fuss and drama, ACCEPTED her situation.

Who would CHOOSE to be taken captive, as a young girl, far away from all you held dear?

Who would CHOOSE to be paraded, like an animal in a market - gazed upon, weighed up alongside the others - to be the potential Queen of a ruler looking only upon your outward appearance?  An ungodly King, apparently easily influenced by those he places in power alongside him.

Esther didn't choose the situation she was in, yet she calmly accepted it all, and MORE.

She became a woman who owned her life.  She became a woman who accepted what God had given her as her portion, and poured herself into it.  She emptied herself into the situation she was in, and redeemed it to the glory of God, by redeeming the people of God.

She quickly took upon her role of a supportive wife and helped to save him from the plotting of his enemies (chapter 2:21-23).  She didn't have to do that.  She could have sat quietly by, whilst the husband she didn't choose for herself, and a man who had so easily dismissed his previous wife, was assassinated.  But no, that was not in her nature, nor a reflection of the inner beauty she possessed. She owned her life by being everything that she should have been.

She placed herself in a place of potential sacrifice, in order to approach her husband.

"If I perish, I perish."

She was willing to die for those she loved.

Knowing the King, and what had happened to Vashti, she didn't admit defeat, and think there was nothing she could do. Instead, she immediately fasted and sought a solution to the dire situation. She found herself in a state of affairs that put those she cared so deeply for at risk, and she went about making sure that she saved them.  She set aside her earthly comforts, to seek heavenly counsel about her situation.  We are told she fasted, and this invariably, in scripture, goes hand in hand with prayer.  It's an assumption, but one that is not unlikely.  She put self aside, in order to live fully, sacrificially, and with compassion, in the situation she was in.

What lesson did the Holy Spirit whisper in my heart, this morning?

We cannot always choose the situations we find ourselves in.  In God's sovereign dealings with our life, we may find ourselves in a place not of our choosing.  We may experience heartache.  We may be thrust into situations that are hard. We may have to go through trials that test us on many levels. We may be in relationships that require patience and grace.  We may be in marriage that is far from perfect.  We may be far from those we love.

It's not right for us to fight the perfect plan of God.  It's not right for us to grumble, to complain.

God did not create us to live a mundane life, where we don't embrace the season we are in and live it with passion.

We are to be "Esthers".  Esther was the outliving of the words of Paul.

"For to me to live is CHRIST, and to die is gain".

He didn't say "For to me to exist".

He didn't say " For me to endure".

He said, "For to me to LIVE".

We can only live fully, to God's glory, if we do everything in our power to live it for HIM.

To honour Him.

To praise Him.

To obey Him.

To joyfully embrace and own where He has us.

It cannot be done in our own power.

It cannot be done for our own gain.

God has placed you in your situation "for such a time as this".  Like Esther, you have a work to do, right where you are.  The circumstances don't dismiss you from this delightful duty - they simply dictate the way you will live it out. Each with our own story, to HIS glory.

Our lives can be lived as ones of incredible influence, just like Esther. No matter where we are, or who we come into contact with, we can influence others greatly, for God's kingdom, if we accept our circumstances, and live fully devoted to God. I am sure Esther never imagined, as a child fleeing persecution, that she would be so greatly used in the wonderful plan that God had for the redemption of His chosen people. Esther, willing to be used. Not sitting by, simply existing. Willing to go, with confidence, to live a life of boldness. A life that would be recorded for the generations to come, to read of her willingness to serve in the hard places.

Am I willing to live that kind of life? To accept, with humility and a burning passion to see Christ glorified, RIGHT HERE?

I don't need to be in a palace.  I don't need to be on the mission field.  I don't even need to go outside of my HOME.

God can work in me, and through me, if I am willing to live a life that is bold and full - owning my life, glorifying Him, and faithfully following His lead.